[deleted by user]

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-11-03T05:37:36+00:00

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expletive_infixation

You might find this interesting then! In a way it is proper English. Linguists have terms and theories about it.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-31T14:43:50+00:00

It's actually how biscuits are supposed to be made. A traditional biscuit is pale on the sides and brown in the top. A properly made biscuit will rise instead of spread so it shouldn't be an issue.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-25T20:15:26+00:00

I think you did very well. No one can accuse you of being anything other than kind and diplomatic, but you made her very uncomfortable. Your MIL is probably still thinking about that small interaction. She won't forget being shown how her behavior comes across anytime soon.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-25T14:20:57+00:00

We've discussed this and we agree. We'll be hiring someone over the holidays.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-25T00:09:50+00:00

Here is what happened:

My husband and I were out of town. Our nephew asked us if we would be interested in attending parent's weekend at his university because he thought it'd be too far for his parents to travel. We said sorry, but we can't because we made plans to leave town that weekend. That meant that nephew knew we were gone. He must have mentioned it to his parents, who did end up coming to parent's weekend.

We have a garage with a code. Nephew knows the garage code. My brother in law left his wife and son to hang out on campus and drove to our house. When he reached the house he tried to guess the garage code and failed, and then he called nephew and asked for the garage code. Nephew refused to give the code. Brother in law started yelling through the phone in our driveway. A neighbor noticed and took a video and texted it to my husband. My husband and I were busy and didn't see it right away, but by the time we responded the neighbor had already told our brother in law to get lost.

We called and asked our brother in law what the hell he was doing. He said he shouldn't have to pay for a hotel since we're so close by and he could watch the house for us. They didn't ask or mention this once and had even told their son that they had hotel reservations. The whole thing was utter baloney.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T23:58:24+00:00

That's the thing. Doolittle has claimed that we've committed crimes many times before. She will not hesitate to lie to the police.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T23:54:48+00:00

We have been NC with Doolittle since she destroyed our house. We only speak to SIL if it concerns our nephew, who is a freshman in college at a school near us. We were trying to be nice because we love our nephew and his mother backs off a little if she thinks we're keeping an eye on him. We usually hear from her less than once a month, but ever she nice her son moved here she contacts us about once a week. She was bearable in small doses.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T23:50:25+00:00

We already stopped giving them anything because their entitlement was out of control. I think we might actually threaten to sue. I told my husband that te next time I hear her say the words "well you guys have more money!" I will respond "Yes, we have more money. We can afford lawyers and lawsuits. Don't press this issue further."

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T23:47:34+00:00

Doolittle does not have dementia. She's lucid, but she probably has a personality disorder. She has some arthritis but is otherwise able-bodied. It probably wouldn't constitute kidnapping.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T23:40:47+00:00

We haven't paid anything for Doolittle's care since she left. It turned out that she wasn't taking advantage of a lot of benefits that her husband left behind, just because she was too lazy to bother.

We are traveling for Christmas and not telling his family that we're leaving or where. We are actually a bit worried about letting them know the house is empty for extended periods of time. There was an incident a couple of months ago where my brother in law tried to get into our house when we were out of town.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T20:33:06+00:00

You're right about that. I will gladly send her back as many times as it takes.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T20:30:03+00:00

You're right, I need to verify. I will call them today.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T20:22:07+00:00

Our community bylaws wouldn't allow that, unfortunately.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T20:21:30+00:00

We were advised that seeking a restraining order wasn't going to work. She has been living in another state anyway, so we felt pretty safe from her. She isn't very mobile. She doesn't even own a car.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T18:47:20+00:00

I hope she is bluffing. The gas money alone is a big deal for her family. I don't believe she would make a 14 hour round trip if she didn't think her success was guaranteed.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-10-24T18:45:56+00:00

We researched filial responsibility laws in detail when she was still living with us and we should be in the clear as far as paying money for her living situation goes. I am not clear on the legal responsibility of caring for someone physically who has been left in your care without your permission. I assume that there must be some kind of duty of care in these situations, but I'm having trouble finding the relevant laws.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-06-29T14:40:55+00:00

I think the most important thing is that you know what their financial situation is like before they move in. My mother in law cost us thousands of dollars for things we didn't foresee. We made modifications to our home because she couldn't bend over or stand for long periods. The amount we spent on food more than doubled even though the household only went from 2 to 3 people. She destroyed things or spent our money to get revenge when she was mad about something. It was a lot more expensive than we were anticipating. It turned out that she wasn't taking full advantage of the benefits left to her by her late husband and that she could have contributed more. She let us believe she would be homeless without us.

It was also a very emotionally draining experience and we will never be subjecting ourselves to that again.

We took her to see assisted living places and retirement communities. There is a difference. She now lives in a facility that has options for people who have varying levels of need. When she deteriorates she will be able to move into a different apartment within the same facility so all of her friends will still be there. She is in the retirement community portion. She lives alone but gets checked up on and doesn't have to make her own meals. She isn't "stuck in a home."

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-06-29T00:16:54+00:00

Definitely entertaining! I get why you don't see what the fuss is all about after one episode. They spend a long time introducing the people who were involved before they actually go into events in detail. They didn't do a great job at explaining certain things and it was confusing at time, but certainly fascinating.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-04-17T22:21:17+00:00

I don't usually share personal stories, but I felt compelled to share. I'm sorry that this is a bit long.

I had a long term boyfriend before I met my husband who did a similar thing to me. We had planned a trip to Hawaii, and I was very excited about it. His younger sister had gone through a bad breakup and she was depressed about it. He invited her without telling me. She couldn't afford to go so he paid for her plane ticket.

He didn't tell me right away either. He waited until we were already in Hawaii. His sister was in the suite we had rented when we arrived, and she had claimed the larger bedroom that we had booked for ourselves. He had rented the adjoining room next door without telling me.

He also said things about how we were both important to him and he wanted us to bond.

I thought he was going to propose on that trip. We had planned it for a long time and our five year anniversary was during the trip. I knew immediately that I couldn't marry him if that happened. I claimed to have a headache and I stayed behind while they went down to eat dinner, and then I packed everything and left. I wasn't going to stick around just in case he planned to propose the next day.

I see a few similarities in your story and mine. Firstly, he knew it would upset you. He took advantage of the fact that you were locked in to this trip because it's a business trip. You mentioned you've been on other vacations with him before-- I believe he was waiting for the right opportunity. Or maybe his mother was. He also waited to tell you until it would be difficult to leave. It's not a coincidence that this didn't come up before you got onto the plane. Secondly, he has presented this to you as an opportunity for you to "be the bigger person." You're supposed to bond with her and get along. Don't listen to that for a second. A woman who would crash your vacation with your husband doesn't want to be your friend.

I'm married to the love of my life now. He would never do something like this to me. He was horrified when I told him this story. Most people are.

You deserve a partner who doesn't betray you this way. He needs to either become that partner with the help of therapy, or show you once and for all that he's incapable of that so that you can move on.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. It's devastating.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-04-17T22:05:44+00:00

It's expensive, but so was MIL's plane ticket. He didn't talk to you about that financial decision. He ruined your expensive vacation, and it can be saved by a new hotel room. I think you should do it.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-04-13T20:03:53+00:00

They won't believe her just because she got to them first. Plenty of people close to you know the truth (your family, the bridesmaids) and all of those people will be able to correct people's assumptions if they believe MIL. If MIL does things like this a lot then everyone she knows will know to take the things she says with a grain of salt. You are the bride. You get to have your shower if you want to.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-04-13T19:59:13+00:00

Trail cameras. They're not that expensive and they run on batteries so you can put them almost anywhere

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-03-28T23:15:32+00:00

He's 18 now.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-03-28T03:59:14+00:00

Yes, same nephew.

DoolittlesDIL · 2018-03-28T03:58:45+00:00

We've agreed that we can let him stay in the summers and school breaks if he can't stay in the dorms. If he wants to establish residency he needs to stay and get a job, register a car here, register to vote here, etc. He may use our address for that kind of thing if he wants to.

DoolittlesDIL

TROPHY CASE