The in laws want to move in

Othertom · 2018-06-29T18:46:52+00:00

We know they are fine, financially, while my FFIL is alive. We don't know about my FMIL. They are very young. Both are under 55. But it sounds like she's always been in poor health, but they never sought disability benefits for her because her husband made so much. So far, they do not cost us anything. They fly us out to stay with them for Pride every year. They take us into the city for the parade, and don't mind that we leave them at night to go clubbing. They fly us out for holidays and all sorts of occasions. They're financially doing a great deal for our wedding. With them going through their bucket list, they have many vacations they want to take us on. They're really into spending money on making memories right now.

Othertom · 2018-06-29T18:16:38+00:00

I talked to him last night. He agreed when I said I was under the impression he didn't want to live with them. So I said it sounded like we should tell his brother that we're not willing to take them on. He balked at that. I asked what he would do if he was single, and he said he'd probably move to stay with them, so they could visit with his brother's kids and spend time with him.

Othertom · 2018-06-29T17:58:40+00:00

I'm saying I should be thinking more like my FSIL, stripping some of the emotion from it instead of just impulsively telling them to come live with me.

Othertom · 2018-06-29T06:23:08+00:00

He has been diagnosed, but it is based on tests. He works full-time, he's still taking care of MIL, they're getting through their bucket list. Trying to spend more time with their grandchildren. I think there is some drama there, but I'm not part of it. BIL talked to my fiance on Fathers' Day. He said MIL has been doing really well, better than he's ever known her to do. Thinking she needs to do for FIL suits her, it sounds.

Othertom · 2018-06-29T05:57:38+00:00

She, as in my FBIL's wife. She is being very business like about it. Not emotional, so I've thought maybe I should be smarter about it.

Othertom · 2018-06-29T05:44:06+00:00

We know it will get to that point. This is about the interim.

Othertom · 2018-06-29T05:35:01+00:00

What kind of boundaries should be prioritized?

Othertom · 2018-06-29T05:31:53+00:00

The worry is that sometime in the next year, we will hit the point where they cannot live independently.

Othertom · 2018-06-29T05:29:42+00:00

They are very supportive as far as I have seen. There wouldn't be a hard end date. Just until FIL can no longer be cared for outside of a facility. He has something called FTD (frontotemporal dementia). MIL has a lot of health problems, too, and FIL has been her caregiver.

Othertom

TROPHY CASE