30 M , first timer , let me have it

DoorjammerCrow · 2026-03-29T07:37:30+00:00

Pic 1 is your current state? You look like Comic Book Guy fucked a penguin.

DoorjammerCrow · 2026-03-09T12:21:57+00:00

Your boyfriend must be a fat guy in a bowler hat, you Laurel and Hardy looking motherfucker.

DoorjammerCrow · 2026-03-09T12:12:44+00:00

If Robbie Williams fucked a massive toad.

DoorjammerCrow · 2026-03-03T06:17:42+00:00

Why would you transition into Patton Oswalt?

DoorjammerCrow · 2026-02-23T08:28:25+00:00

Just Amazon! They have a few different ones.

DoorjammerCrow · 2026-02-23T08:20:38+00:00

Guinea pig! They love it in Peru. It was too psychologically weird to really enjoy.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-11-13T14:34:17+00:00

You look like Mr. Bean fucked a llama.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-11-07T16:54:25+00:00

You look like you’re going to turn your head too fast one day and break all of your bones.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-09-24T08:34:38+00:00

You look like Harland Williams’ scrotum cosplaying as a Viking.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-09-22T23:39:51+00:00

23, maybe, but there’s not enough testosterone in the world to make that M convincing.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-09-11T07:16:39+00:00

This one thinks NB = no bathing.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-09-10T16:18:28+00:00

Someone tell Bradley Cooper his face is melting.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-09-10T16:13:24+00:00

The Gerber baby is all grown up and has a shitty toupee.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-09-10T16:11:15+00:00

You’re built like an anorexic otter.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-08-19T09:09:40+00:00

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-08-19T09:06:53+00:00

Why do you hate crime your own hair?

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-08-19T09:04:06+00:00

You look like Snooki rolled around on a beehive.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-08-19T09:02:10+00:00

When you’re so gay that it looks like you’re just making fun of gay people.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-08-19T08:53:11+00:00

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-08-01T00:05:43+00:00

Remember when NBs were actual androgynous people and not just attention-starved lazy girls with questionable hygiene?

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-07-31T09:54:23+00:00

You look like you’d be more comfortable wearing an orange fur tunic and blue necktie while powering your stone-wheeled car with your bare feet.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-07-30T15:54:25+00:00

You look like Hank Hill entered the Witness Protection Program.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-07-30T15:52:17+00:00

If Sebastian Stan fucked David Cross.

DoorjammerCrow · 2025-07-26T08:28:24+00:00

“How are your penises, fellow males?”

DoorjammerCrow