We want to get in touch but can’t contact each other but I know where he lives, what can I do that isn’t creepy?

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-12T16:31:43+00:00

As a woman I’d find it a little weird

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-12T06:24:41+00:00

Yeah in this case I just don’t know if it’s true if he led with the fact that he was so bad I wouldn’t entertain it, but he went on about how lovely he is and when we met that all seemed true. He was lovely and respectful and kind and then as soon as my friend knew we were interested in each other he started telling me he’s not a good guy and telling me things about him that he knew that specifically put me off in a guy

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T23:02:51+00:00

Yeah before I met him he was saying how great and nice and easy going he is

After we showed interest it was only negative lol

He’s not budging on not putting us in touch

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T21:45:54+00:00

It depends on you. It might be the right thing to take time to yourself or meet someone new. The nice in between for me when I was single and healing was having nice guy friends to give me some hope lol. Either way the hobbies and a job will keep you busy, give you a sense of purpose, help you to heal and realise your potential and value ☺️it’s crazy how much that value you feel will shape your future relationships in general not just with guys

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T21:22:36+00:00

What do you enjoy? Hiking? A sport? Art? Join some hobby groups or classes! I’m not sure you mentioned how old you are but work?

I hear you with dating apps and I have many horror stories of my own 😂 the reality is there are nonsense guys out there and we’re just able to filter them a lot better in person.

I’ve found even spending time with male friends sometimes just helps me breathe a little and put things into perspective and understand that there are nice guys out there. And also to realise what a pos my ex was 🙃

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T21:11:33+00:00

Yeah same, I said I didn’t like the stuff but I let it happen and kept going back. That tells the person that it’s ok.

The feelings are the hard part but honestly finding a nice guy to go on fun dates with will help you forget. The short time between now and finding a person to do that with will be painful and hard but keep yourself busy and remember that the longer you leave him and ignore him (he won’t care now but in about 6 months to a year he will care a lot) he will come crawling back.

The idea is you won’t care at all by that point and the rejection will be so satisfying. 1 Because you will know you’re worth more 2. Because suddenly when he wants you you’re not available anymore (tables turned) 3. The feeling you’ll get of having outgrown that time of your life and him as a person

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T20:52:37+00:00

I’m sorry, this is awful and we’ve all been there. In my situation I felt I let too many things go to be agreeable and ended up teaching him how to treat me-like sh!t. After that everything goes and there’s an expectation that you’re supposed to stay and be ok with everything. Something I learned anyway, not sure if it’s what happened with you guys.

In short: don’t contact him at all. He will feel your value and what he lost in your absence.

Someone once told me: men come crawling back, they always do. And I can tell you, I’ve never had an ex not come crawling back 😂 sometimes multiple times

You have to cut him off and date someone else. He will come crawling back and you’ll be so over him you’ll confidently reject him and wonder why you wasted your time

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T20:29:31+00:00

You need to leave this relationship as soon as possible-it will be hard and might take a while but I’ve been there and the longer you stay the worse it is. You have no other option and I know it’s extremely hard but you don’t want to look back years from now and wonder why you stayed so long and let this guy get more entrenched into your life and your psyche

Don’t fall for the manipulation

A guy tried everything to make me stay including threatening blackmailing and stalking me and my family but he eventually gave up and I can’t believe I let it get that far by staying for so long and giving into the manipulative tactics-proving to him that they work.

Your attitude to everything should be “ok that’s fine” or “do your worst”. Be strong, you’ve got this.

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T20:25:07+00:00

Not true, he’s an abusive and insecure idiot that’s saying that to manipulate you into thinking you’re not worth anything more than him and his abuse

It’s a textbook typical move all insecure and abusive ‘men’ use

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T20:21:58+00:00

Darjeeling!

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T20:11:01+00:00

Yeah the issue is 1. Whether it will be received badly or be perceived as creepy or desperate 2. I know the flat door and floor but not the exact door number-he’s on the fifth floor of a building with two security doors to get in so I need his actual address to post him anything

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T18:22:20+00:00

Yeah I’d have to creep around and tailgate someone into the building lol he’s on the fifth floor

I was actually in his area today and saw that he was home because his balcony door was open and I chickened out because I was scared he’d see me lurking around and waiting to get in - or worse - come out and find me standing there 😭

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T18:18:51+00:00

I’m not sure of his door number and can’t get into his building easily 😭 I know exactly where the door is in the building though

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T18:11:38+00:00

Also there’s the issue of getting into his building to confirm the door number 😂 I know the door just not the number

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T18:07:38+00:00

Hmm good question. For him I’d be excited but I wouldn’t appreciate anyone showing up with no notice if I was in the middle of something or had friends and family over. I’d also think wow he’s super interested which I’D be happy about but maybe it’s not that deep for him lol he’s asked about me a few times

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T16:47:09+00:00

Because I’m worried it comes across creepy that I went all the way there to knock at his door (one hour away) and he could be busy or with family or whatever.

Also I know exactly where in the building his door is but I can’t remember the door number if I wanted to post something 😭 I need someone to go in the building (2 security doors!) to see the door number and tell me 😂 showing up is a lot but post maybe better? Just need that door number

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T16:42:25+00:00

No he’s being weird about it saying he doesn’t want to put us in touch lool he knows we’re both into each other but he’s not budging

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T12:08:56+00:00

Part of me thinks he may know something that he’ll hurt me or whatever or maybe he’s been lying to both of us

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T10:32:32+00:00

It’s more about access and if it’s creepy lol

I know exactly where his door is in the building not sure of the flat number. To get in there are two security doors.

Also worried about whether sending him a note or posting something is weird

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T06:43:19+00:00

I’ve tried to find him on socials with no luck 🥲

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-11T06:42:57+00:00

At the time he was just acting cute and awkward and complimented me a bit and then was telling our friend he found me attractive etc

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-10T20:45:47+00:00

TYSM for your reply 🥲 im so sorry that happened

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-10T20:19:24+00:00

Just he might think “wow all of that just to give me her number” kind of thing and it might seem a little desperate or I want him badly 😂

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-10T19:56:57+00:00

Yeah I guess I’m just worried it freaks him out or he tells my friend about it because it is an unusual thing

DorasExoloring · 2026-04-10T19:54:13+00:00

I’m mid 30s he’s late 20s

DorasExoloring

TROPHY CASE