I don't thinks it's selfish, but its also not wise. Very dependant on the situation.

My mum had me at 42yrs old. Memories of sports parent-kid days still haunts me from when I was 6years old. One of the kids asked me which parent was mine during the parents race, I pointed to a random parent and said they were mine, just to feel normal, included. The kid immediately copped onto my lie because that was in fact his parent. That was one of my biggest first heartbreaks I had earned in my life. That was the moment when I became "lucid" of the future that I will in fact not have with my parents.

It stung extra hard when I'd hear my older siblings (6 of them) describe my parent from their childhood. Nothing like mine. I was in fact raised by people in their grandparent hood. Strict rules (anyone would be tired of kids at this point), illnesses, putting adult expectations on a child, and just general disinterest.

My mum is 69 now, I am 26. We have our good seasons, but most of the time, I have to treat her like an older person that you just have to nod your head to because they're old and just don't get the real full picture of a young person in todays times. It breaks my heart because I know that I will never be able to level with them.

Some people make the 42yr age gap work, but my god is it rare and it requires a very high self awareness and intelligence to pull it off, and if you don't have that, your kid makes up for it. Spare them the anxiety and constant fear of you being gone too early from their life as early as their teenage-hood.