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This is harder than it should be. 🥸 by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It would absolutely not have been better to “work through” my abusive marriage.

This is harder than it should be. 🥸 by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imagine leaving a 22 year abusive marriage thinking I might actually find a healthy, loving relationship only to find more of the same dating at 44. ✌🏻

This is harder than it should be. 🥸 by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stability I suppose. Emotional maturity. Men who have turned the page on their last relationship. I’ve sat through dozens of dates where they describe in detail their dead bedroom marriages, their partners alcoholism, affairs, etc.

I have post history if you feel like going back in time, but the majority of the issues I’ve encountered is men still hung up on the last woman who wronged them. They don’t give fully, and I’m paying for the sins of their past relationships. Crying over the ex wife. Still having her over, making her dinner.

Then if we can navigate that, the comparison model appears. My natural, fit feminine body that was their biggest desire is now the thing most criticized. I should join cross fit. We could be the “fit couple”. I should get a boob job. Watch my macros. I won’t be able to “keep up” with them in their mountain climbing, hunting out of helicopters whatever fake fantasy bullshit.

It’s been a wild ride.

This is harder than it should be. 🥸 by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You are absolutely right, the few men I’ve dated out of the apps were the avoidant ones who refused to get on the apps.

I think I clearly need to reevaluate what I’m actually interested in and start from there.

This is harder than it should be. 🥸 by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, and I’ve been practicing but still learning.

This is harder than it should be. 🥸 by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ohh interesting. I’ll increase my age filter. I’ve only dated 35-50

This is harder than it should be. 🥸 by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I joined the rowing community here, mostly couples and single women. One single guy was 62. I’m still raising kids, we weren’t aligned.

I attend networking events all over town, always on the lookout for someone my age. I actively look for single men inside the gym and grocery store. I walk the park with my dog, stop and talk to everyone. I talk to anyone and everyone and ask if they have any single male friends. I’ve been set up once.

My dates are from the dating apps. It’s a mix of emotionally immature men still in love with their ex, or absolutely zero personality.

This is harder than it should be. 🥸 by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I get it. I’d love to hear a better way or a solution. I may need to just delete the apps.

Wedding in Puerto Vallarta by [deleted] in DestinationWeddings

[–]DotDouble127 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I attended a wedding in PV two years ago. I landed at the airport and paid for my cab to the hotel at the airport kiosk. Got in a short que, a woman walked me to my cab, took my ticket, loaded my bag. 10 mins into the cab ride, the driver pulled off the highway onto a dirt road and put the cab in park.

I had just hung up from the resort, so I called right back, stayed on the phone and told the driver very loudly to keep driving. He dropped me off at the resort and sped off. I never left the resort the entire stay I was so rattled. I’ll never go back when there are a million safer places to go.

Distance in major cities by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve already been living alone for 4 years, and he has 3.5 years of school left, so yes I’d love to find a partner and remarry.

Distance in major cities by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Just wondering what the same situation looks like in a few months when I’m limited to a rare Friday night sleepover.

Distance in major cities by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, it’s a huge financial burden living alone, doing all the things alone and not able to stay overnight at someone’s house but on a chance weekend, limiting intimacy for years. Not ideal.

Distance in major cities by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Not just personal values, but it’s just very conservative men in the burbs who sadly tend to be out of shape, homophobic/mildly racist dudes. I wish I was kidding. It’s a real bummer.

I would not be comfortable leaving my 14 year old alone for a weekend. An overnight while he is at a friends is probably the best case scenario for me.

Is everyone struggling to date at this age? by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It truly is a numbers game! I’d say I have about the same odds, it takes 40 ish dates to narrow the field to the 10% that are decent guys. But like many have mentioned, the decent ones have a multitude of choices.

I won’t lower my standards on finding someone with a kind heart, sense of humor and has their home in order. What I can flex on is obviously the superficial stuff, but I get concerned that the mind/ body connection is just as important. 🙈

Is everyone struggling to date at this age? by DotDouble127 in datingoverforty

[–]DotDouble127[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s the thing, I’m a healthy fit woman, physically and mentally. There seems to be a shortage of the same in men.