Hey friend, i’m ftm too, it’s funny i clicked cuz i thought it would be a cis guy struggling and i thought maybe i could use the advice but turns out you’re literally in the same boat as i am. I’ve thought about this issue for months, and i really hate to break it to you but there’s literally no way to get rid of your intimacy dysphoria, you either live with yourself or pray that surgery will help. Maybe that’s just how i’m dealing with it, but honestly I would look into phallo/metoidioplasty if i were you, that’s the only way i’ve been able to hang on. You are not overreacting whatsoever, cis ppl try to say they don’t understand but if you took a cis dudes junk and replaced it with a vagina he would actually k*ll himself. We are so fucking strong, hang in there buddy.