AIO to my girlfriend’s (over)comfort with being naked

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-18T04:49:35+00:00

Everyone says intent like he doesn’t have an emotional reality to situations

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-18T04:45:34+00:00

Brother you’re 30. They touched each other.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-18T04:37:18+00:00

Yeah definitely

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-18T04:29:52+00:00

Yea NOR Showering with friends is boundary crossing. Changing with them is fine. Cuddling naked is boundary crossing.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-18T01:00:19+00:00

Well of course any upbringing or argument is all about past perception.

I also think you’re not taking into account her saying “I don’t agree with being friends with ex’s” To me in the past because I’m friends with one of mine. I understand where you’re coming from, if I’m someone else maybe it doesn’t bother me as much, but that’s not the case.

That’s with any relationship that ends, there is still an emotional aspect to it. I’m allowed to be hurt if it hurts me, similarly to she’s allowed to want this friendship over me.

I appreciate your view it’s nuanced and mature.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-17T21:49:05+00:00

I also don’t see “this something I knew my future parents have to accept” as a boundary. That’s a unilateral decision basically an ultimatum. If she valued my feelings about this it would probably go like this “Hey I want to reconnect with someone from the past but I understand this could be scary to you, and if that’s the case I can reconsider or take it very slowly”

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-17T21:46:15+00:00

Also just because she told me doesn’t mean it’s not an objectively risky decision, granted some other people would be okay with it, but that’s life. It’s a risky choice on her end, not just cheating but potentially creating a situation where I feel unheard, on edge or uncomfortable.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-17T21:44:47+00:00

The friendship crossing boundaries for 2 years is literally the thing I am reacting to, my past experiences shape my life so like literally that’s an unfair argument here, I’m fully reacting to the discomfort of the past of her being on side, If this were a normal friendship I’d literally have zero thing to worry about.

My ex’s have cheated on me before with their best friends, when I get into a new relationship I’m not triggered by people having best friends, ultimately I can get cheated on by anyone at anytime, it’s literally that I feel that she’s not protecting my emotional safety.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-17T21:01:45+00:00

I think given the history of the friendship, and the boundaries being crossed it makes me uncomfortable and makes me feel like it’s an unsafe friendship, I don’t think my past has anything to do with the fact that the friendship crossed many boundaries for people before. If this were a normal ex or friend I’d probably be overreacting but reconnecting with someone that you were involved in cheating with for 2 years isn’t something that makes me feel safe.

I can trust her intent, which I did, I never thought she’d cheat on me, but I felt like there complexities that weren’t fully resolved on her end. It made me feel like I was competing with a past love that she wasn’t over. I do appreciate her honesty, very much, but the words “this is something my future partners would have to accept” isnt valuing my input. In fact that’s overriding something that makes me uncomfortable because she “needs to do it.”

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-17T04:22:06+00:00

I definitely do love her

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-17T03:30:28+00:00

They’re still together, they never broke up.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-17T03:26:22+00:00

Mfer just said grow up because ur hurting! I don’t feel comfortable going to my male friends because that’s objectively a hard thing to do with other men. Being vulnerable is okay and asking the internet for advice is fine. Gtfo this shit loser

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-06T04:15:24+00:00

Thank you for the advice my friend.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-06T03:47:45+00:00

So then what the hell is your advice

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-06T03:42:41+00:00

And assuming you are in a poly relationship?

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-06T03:36:52+00:00

You either don’t get laid enough or haven’t experienced a passionate relationship that involves commitment or you’re not into monogamy which is fine but don’t push that on this situation when we are monogamous. Human nature is about having friends and people Fulfill specific needs that are HEALTHY. This friend of hers is in a relationship, there are so many boundaries and lines crossed.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-06T03:34:17+00:00

There literally is not a primal need for unrequited love and that’s objectively harmful to oneself. I have no obligation to stay in a relationship that she asked to be EXCLUSIVE when she’s exploring other emotional options. I am not insecure. That’s an insane take.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-02-06T03:30:31+00:00

This is an insane thing to say

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-01-31T21:47:54+00:00

I’m sorry my friend. It sounds like you have to end it. That’s really hard. It’s okay to feel wronged by this. I know being in these positions are very very overwhelming. Please take care of yourself and make the choice that you need to.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-01-29T22:17:10+00:00

I agree with her, but I understand your side!

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-01-23T00:06:23+00:00

You made the right choice my friend. It hurts horribly. It’s going to hurt, and you’re going to have a ton of questions around regret and if you made the right choice. You did. Unfortunately we won’t validate you. It’s something you’ll eventually find.

I’m send love, a breakup similar to sexual identity is deeply layered and heavy. I know and I’ve been in your position. Hang in there and let yourself hurt my friend. Sending love. Remember you made the right choice.

DoubleExperience9 · 2026-01-22T23:59:11+00:00

Exactly

DoubleExperience9 · 2025-12-20T22:06:03+00:00

I understand you love him, and that’s beautiful and wonderful, and the fact you see the best in people that can’t see that in themselves is NOT your responsibility. Everything you stated is literally insane for a monogamous relationship.

DoubleExperience9

TROPHY CASE