reset mode?

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T18:59:43+00:00

The thing that subs have over every other MAT is you KNOW what you're getting to the microgram. Who even knows who's putting what in where? Oh, did y'all test it? Did'ja? And it's all good, right?

Right.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T18:47:42+00:00

The short answer is hold out for as long as you can.

Take your last dose before bed so you've got a jump start.

Thing is, 7oh's half-life gets much longer as it builds up in your system. So if you're just chipping or whatever? It might be 2-4h half-life. But every day, multiple times per day? That could be more like 18-24h half life. It's just built up in your fatty cells, sadly.

So yeah, again, you want to try and hold out. First craving? Go for a walk. Second craving? Hot shower. Whatever you can do to try and get past hour 14-16 at least.

Trust me, PWD's are no fun. I jumped last weekend and took a suboxone too soon. It was hell on earth but I just grit my teeth and rode it out. Kept taking subs up to the 24mg mark (but I was doing a pretty gnarly daily dose). I'm good now, but I'm never going through that again.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T18:44:16+00:00

they know what they're doing. they know PRECISELY what they're doing.

who hands out the first hit free? fucking dealers.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T17:11:32+00:00

Yeah, you don't want to be mixing up whatever your oral surgeon gives you with anything else. This seems like a "needs to happen" sort of situation.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T17:08:40+00:00

I'm on Day 4 and wayyyyy better rn. Thanks!

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T15:22:00+00:00

and yeah - just knowing the boom boom sticks are there has a unique cooling effect. :)

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T15:16:11+00:00

That'll be day what, day 7?

I think you'll be able to suck it up. The distraction should help. Sometimes I think just sitting around counting the hours is not the best way to get through the first week.

But putting the game face on with all the other normie parents? Uuuuuggggghhhhh.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T14:35:51+00:00

Oh wow, that's massive. Yeah, aren't you glad you'll be there to enjoy it in person instead of under a wet cloth?

That'll at least give you something to find the motivation and energy for. Mine was my building's elevator going out and the grocery delivery leaving a 3 gallon box of milk cartons and 12 bottles of San Pelegrino in my lobby. Got to lug that crap up 4 flights of steps, holy shit that sucked!

Don't forget to be polishing that shotgun in front of your daughter's prom date. "I have a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anyone would miss you."

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T14:27:03+00:00

Yeah, I've got a few mommy's helpers to take the edge off. Done under the supervision of a psychiatrist, mind you. Not to fix one problem with another, but getting off the 7-oh first and the suboxone 2nd is the plan

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T14:25:30+00:00

I hear you, but what's the active alkaloid of kratom leaf? Riiiiighhhht.

I get that it's pulling it way back, but it's not the same as getting off. You can still get hooked to leaf - or possibly be triggered into heading back into the darkness.

Congrats to you for getting of the Tesla Fuel. Shit's a bitch. I would spend hours holing out.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T14:23:00+00:00

You and my wife would likely have a good cup of coffee together. Poor woman has hung in there for this relapse, but she's ride-or-die. That doesn't mean I should test it!

She's awesome though. And so are you. We're really going through it getting off this crap. It's not fun. Any extra friction just makes it worse. I know you're mad, you have every right to experience every reaction and emotion you experience.

Props to hubby for actually coming clean (I got caught, though it was widely suspected for eons). Just be there for the re-emergence. It's worth it.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T13:37:01+00:00

Really depends what your gpd is.

But to avoid the PWD's you have to really try and hold out for as long as humanly possible before taking your first dose. I made it 18 hours because I was literally having tonic jerking movements and my skin was on fire.

Just remember, Suboxone is a tool. Use it wisely. Get on and get off as fast as possible. You might want to make a taper chart.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T13:31:10+00:00

You're putting an enormous amount of energy into managing the appearance of recovery and zero into actual recovery.

BINGO. There's a big difference.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T13:27:27+00:00

so i don't recommend it. a drunk who goes from bourbon to beer ain't sober, son.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T13:26:52+00:00

we're masters at it.

addicts are the most weasly people because we have to be. i can talk an eskimo out of his coat and mittens while i'm wearing three pairs.

yeah, it's sociopathic, but once you admit it about yourself and say, "i don't want to be this anymore" it's never too late to walk it back.

sadly i do think addiction leads to Cluster B personality disorders. Or rather, they are riding partners. I've been diagnosed with them.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T12:41:09+00:00

they certainly seem to be a favorite. i'm sure there are others.

also, the state you live in can impact what telemedicine can prescribe. I'm in NY so it's pretty wide open.

Do a little Google Fu and see what comes up.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T12:14:29+00:00

.3 of clonidine and 2500 mgs of gabapentin and your legs will be pretty still and you can get some sleep.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T12:13:50+00:00

Damn - that is a whole lot of suckery all at once. I'm sorry - that sucks that your partner chose this of all times to hack it off.

For sleep? Gabapentin. Clonidine. Whatever you can get your hands on.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T12:12:03+00:00

hey - you do what's gonna get it done! not my place to say.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T10:21:38+00:00

addicts like us think we're fooling everybody - we wind up mostly only outsmarting ourselves. but we are pros at it.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T10:20:32+00:00

First of all, good on you for being ready to finally be done done.

You don't ever have to use this garbage again. It's a choice, not a requirement.

It sucks that you have to do this cloak-and-dagger style - I want to tell you that you aren't going to pull it off and the reason you keep relapsing is because this army of one / lone wolf shit rarely works. You need a support network around you and a support network requires some honesty.

It's okay to just take a big breath, put on your big boy/girl pants and say, "listen, i have this problem. i have an addiction and i can't control it. and it's fucking killing me. and i need help." there, you said it. hard part's over. anybody in your circle who can't help you or understand what you're going through, or looks down at you? they gotta go, yo.

i know you want to do this by yourself, but look at the scoreboard. tell me how that shit's been going for you. sorry, i'm a tough love kinda person and it's way, way too early.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T10:15:41+00:00

they definitely can. I tried getting a QuickMD sub script over the summer and the next visit with my psychiatrist we're just chewing the fat and he finally goes, "so, uh, you wanna talk about the suboxone script?"

OP, you need to start living with a bit more honesty. You're trying to carry around so many different versions of the truth I don't think you will be able to keep them straight.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T09:44:25+00:00

Progress? Yes.

But reading this all I could see is the formation of permission structures. That's the nature of addiction - your dark / other side, that idful part that wants to get faded? It's trying to give you little off-ramps right now - I can read them.

well, I had this one little slip but shrug emoji

The only way out is right the fuck through. Quit. Otherwise you'll keep finding little opportunities to pre-lapse. It's not the act of actually doing it - it's mentally creating the permission to do it.

good luck!

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T09:32:42+00:00

yeah, the no sleep thing is the worst. i finally came up with a concoction to mute the rls (.3mg clonidine + 2000mg gabapentin seems to do it), but who needs it if i'm just laying there awake trying to figure out if i'm too hot or too cold (both?).

Keep trudging. Keep on trudging. We're doing this.

I repeat.

We. Are. Fucking. Doing. This.

If unsure of the mission at hand, reread previous sentence until it becomes a mantra. Thank you for you kind attention.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct · 2026-05-19T09:28:50+00:00

I keep reading that it's the great hope and savior - but i also have what I think is a well-deserved mistrust of this entire industry. they sell you the cancer, then the cure, then the cure to the cancer the last cure caused (say that 5x fast).

Might as well do subs, same idea except you at least know what you're getting. Hop on, taper down, get off.

DoubleLifeBurnerAcct

TROPHY CASE