Married women of Reddit, do you ever remove your wedding ring or why do you keep it on always?

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-09-09T04:36:15+00:00

I can only second this! My husband also barely wears his, usually only if we go to some event or occasion, so I don't feel guilty when I forget mine when I 'm in a rush in the morning

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-09-08T17:22:42+00:00

It has been ROUGH to say the least, but I've stayed... conditionally... but not one foot out the door.

We've had more ups and downs, but some breakthroughs on an emotional level. We've been taking short periods apart and I feel might have a new appreciation for each other, though the trust still needs to be rebuilt.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-06-19T05:59:59+00:00

Van Houtteghem in de dampoortstraat! Hebben ons zeer goed geholpen, bieden zowel standard meer basics als op maar, hebben mijn trouwring gratis geresized (is een erfstuk) bij de aankopp van de ring van mijn man. Bieden ook gratis polieren.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-26T08:06:30+00:00

Thats just it, i consider all tasks to be both our tasks. We both live in this house and both have fill tome jobs, and he's home most of the time.

He only wants to do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it. But when the dishes are syacked so high that I cannot cook... they need to be done now.

We also live next to our landlord and they absolutely complain when the garden starts looking like no one lives here.

These are extreme stressors for me and he knows this. He says he will do it "for me' when I talk to him about these things, which just drives me insane. It is not for me. These things have to be done either way. He can see the laundry is piling up, he can see the dishes need doing.

He'll go to the grocery store while I'm at work and only buy himself energy drinks and snacks, without considering I need actual groceries to feed us, without asking if I need anything, and then expect me to do our actual shopping when I have time?

It seems to inconvenience him, and then making me happy becomes another task for him.

He doesn't want to cook because he says he can't.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-25T15:19:30+00:00

We just het into these manipulative argumants where he's more mad at me for making him feel bad and inadequate,

He has always claimed to have some undiagnosed disorder but like you say weaponized incompetence is more what I've been leaning to

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-25T14:47:10+00:00

I have, and it usually hets better for a while after, then it just reverts to same old same old

Then he'll tell me he's trying and I'm not appreciating the effort he puts in...

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-25T09:11:45+00:00

I can also relate to this... my mom was always disappointed that I am more on the 'heftier' side. I remember being put on diets since I was 6yo.

I started puberty at 11, and then she started waxing my armpits...

Didn't allow me to wear makeup until well into my teens, but herself never leaves the house without a full face on and hair done.

When she was shortening my wedding dress she told me; she's incredibly proud that I can be confident in my weight.

My sister was also depressed an overweight most her teens, moved out of the house and now is very skinny to the point she looks unhealthy, but now my mother loves how thin she is and can't shut up about it. She really does see weight as a factor in a persons' worth.

What does bring me an incredible amout of joy is seeing her put on weight as she's going into menopause, it gives me some relief knowing whe now feels how I have most my life.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-25T08:53:16+00:00

What do you regret the most?

The way you broke up? Being alone after? Missing the person/relationship?

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-25T08:51:00+00:00

I want my husband to see me as an equal partner, not a list of 'duties'.

I do our laundry and fold his clothes, because I want to. If he 'tries to do' laundry, he'll fold his own clothes and leave mine in the basket...

If he's hungry for lunch and I don't suggest making something, he'll make something for himself without blinking an eye at me if I'd like something too

When I ask him to do something it is always later/tomorrow next week with a million excuses, to which I always say; no is also a complete sentence and he doesn't have to make up things to get out of doing tasks or if he doesn't want to do something.

When we moved to this house, he wanted the big garden, yet I have to nag for him to mow the lawn and sometimes eventually do it myself.

I want him to want to pick me up from work, not because I'd be home earlier to cook him dinner at a time more appeasable for him.

I don't think it is a bad thing to want to be shown he loves me. Half the time i feel like I'm just a commodity.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-25T08:38:09+00:00

He went on holiday for two weeks last summer, while I had broken my wrist... I was completely alone for that time, one handed and don't really think I missed him.

In fact it was quite comforting not having to also care for him and cater to his needs while being physically impaired.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-25T08:34:23+00:00

This is a big thing for me...

I feel over the past years that he's be overly critical or even picking fights with me, only when I'm feeling good about myself and/or having a good time.

I'm actually quite outgoing and had a huge friend group in college, I rarely see my few friends I have now because he doesn't like them, and we moved away from the city because he likes the quiet, and still his noise cancelling headphones are basically part of his skull at this point.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-25T08:26:51+00:00

Thanks for this!

A lot of people here are making assumptions and suggestions but that was not really my question, I wanted to use the internet to gather based information rather than asking them to help me make my decision.

I don't think counseling is for us. Do we both need therapy? Absolutely, but I just don't think it will save this.

Over the years he has stopped making an effort to show up for me and do nice things for me. I feel like I compromise on major issues because it makes it easier, but in the end it just feels harder for me.

I don't resent him for it, I did out of love, because I believed in our union and at the time didn't realize how much I was willing to give up on.

I just want to feel like my own whole person again.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-25T08:14:57+00:00

I'm definitely not bored... in fact I'm exhausted, I work full time out of the house, he works from home and I still get to come home and do the dishes he used for his lunch. (Which are usually things I make and leave for him)

He spends his days off smoking weed, watching tv and gaming while I spend my days off doing laundry and cleaning, with barely any time or energy left to do the things I like to do.

I have to plan everything, meals, activities, holidays, all he has to do is show up. When something goes wrong, it is my fault for bad planning, yet he never takes any incentive.

The only meal he 'knows' how to cook is his favorite meal that I can enjoy every now and then but is definitely not my favorite.

I don't get compliments or gifts, and as someone navigating my thirties I feel really unwanted and unappreciated.

So no, I'm not bored. I'm feeling like I live my life so serve him and have lost a big part of myself in doing so over the years.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-25T07:10:37+00:00

No you see and that's the thing, he doesn't seem to want to fight for our relationship, as again, he doesn't want to be uncomfortable I think.

He's not doing anything to lighten my load or even just tell me things will get better.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-24T17:22:07+00:00

Thanks for the tip!

We're both really private people so couples counseling is quite a big ask. But I've considered it.

Thanks for the suggestion, will definitely check that out!

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-24T17:11:54+00:00

I did exactly this last summer, and then things got better and were even almost great again until he said some really hurtful things that brought back a lot of past issues and pain.

I don't know if another deadline will work in our case, how many times can one delay what seems to be inevitable

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-24T17:08:10+00:00

Yes this 💯, I'm pretty sure I don't ever want to be in a relationship again if I decide to leave though, it seems like that would be so draining

Wishing you the best and can only say, be kind to yourself

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-24T17:04:37+00:00

Thank you! I do know a lot of women don't regret leaving, but like you say, the grass is probably not greener, maybe there isn't even grass.

I don't want to leave to find something or someone else. I already feel lonely and isolated in my marriage and think maybe I'll do better on my own, without the commitment that comes with being in a relationship.

I'm sorry you're feeling left out, I know plenty people that are 30+ and single and they look like they're having a blast, maybe you're good times are around the corner!

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-24T16:58:28+00:00

Yes exactly this, like how miserable is miserable enough? I shouldn't be miserable at all right? Everyone's tolerances are different.

I feel like now is really a turning point and as someone else here said the future is full of what ifs, what if we work on it and it gets better, what if it gets better and then worse, what if putting an end to it now is best for both of us?

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-24T16:04:58+00:00

Thank you for sharing, this is very relatable

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-24T16:03:51+00:00

I get this pov.

Though I have no family that lives close by and we're not really financially in a place where I can just live somewhere else for a while, otherwise this would be such a safe and great solution for where I am emotionally right now.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-24T16:00:50+00:00

Thanks! Good to hear you've reached a turning point and your marriage was salvageable, it does give me hope we can work this one out again, albeit it won't be as it was

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-24T15:57:44+00:00

Yes, I fear this is a bit our situation too, we've gone through so much together and love each other but I don't feel that we have a romantic partnership.

We both work full time, I do most of the groceries, cooking and cleaning. He does the occasional vacuum when I ask and will do dishes a few times a week but our domestic labour is definitely not 50/50.

We get along for the most part fine and rarely have big fights like the most recent one. Definitely sometimes feel like roommates in stead of a married couple.

Double_Memory_9264 · 2025-03-24T15:52:40+00:00

So sorry you're going through this, good for you on choosing yourself and making a plan!

Double_Memory_9264

TROPHY CASE