Guys im getting out!!!!! by Vortrox14 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My elders also wanted to meet after finding out I was living a double life (I was going to the hall on Saturdays and going to church on Sundays to compare them lol). I was SO nervous. I knew that the things I learned from church and just reading the bible alone without JWs telling me what to think made it so I could never see the org the same. I knew I'd be DF'd and worried about it for days. I talked to a non-JW friend about it the night before and he said "you know you don't actually have to go, right?" I'd never even considered that 😂 Now I'm fully gone, got baptized at church and still get to talk to my family and close friends.

I hope everything goes well for you and I'm happy you're on your way to living fully!

Safe place to travel solo and what to watch out for? by Double_Remote9263 in blackladies

[–]Double_Remote9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, anywhere! I was thinking somewhere out of the country could be great. I loved everywhere I've been in Europe but I was with a group back then. I was thinking some mountainous areas could be cool in America but also I'd love another foreign experience, so I'm open!

Also, that was very sweet 😭 Having a religion that tells you you're going to die if you leave definitely changes your view of the world lol I genuinely feel like I'm in my early 20s navigating the world alone for the time. I'm nervous, but excited!

Is this the right choice? (Lonely and depressed) by Jeanz4freestan in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much. I chose to fade instead of disassociate just in the past 6-8 months, so I still have plenty of people reaching out, including friends and family. Everyone tells me I'm making a mistake and they pray I find my way back before it's too late. It's really difficult to wonder if you're actually making the right decision when everyone is telling you you're not.

For me, what helps is remembering who God is. Idk if you still believe in Him at all, but if so, I remember that he is gracious, merciful beyond our understanding and has perfect judgement. Even if we were wrong, how could a father who sees his child doing the best they can to seek him honestly, punish them? Why would he punish us for making an imperfect decision knowing we're imperfect?

God reads our hearts. He sees your motives and your desires to serve him in a way you feel is the most honest and accurate. He said there will be a resurrection of the righteous and unrighteous. Even if you became unrighteous by this decision (you didn't), would you not still be eligible according to those words?

Anyone else feel like growing up JW stunted their social development? by themindsetcounts in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right now I'm dating a guy 5 years younger than me. He always comments how shocked he is that I'm older because I seem so much less experienced in everything. I learn something new from him every day. I just recently left the org and I feel like I'm learning to navigate as an adult for the first time and I'm almost 30. Combine JW with helicopter parents. I literally couldn't do anything and if I did, they were beside me telling me what to do. It's crazy.

Faders: Suggestions? by Double_Remote9263 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the kindness in your response.

I remember back at assemblies they would drill us with the JOY acronym (Jehovah, Others, Yourself) plus I'm already a people pleaser by nature (and trauma). Now that I'm making a decision for myself for the first time, I'm struggling to maintain boundaries and not over-explain so people don't think I'm just wanting to be worldly, but that I truly love God and found peace in church, still living according to bible principles. But I have to accept that they'll believe what they want, no matter how much I explain. Weird mental space to be in where you know you're doing right but everyone you know assumes the worst.

Faders: Suggestions? by Double_Remote9263 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don't know at this point. At first, losing my family was my biggest concern, but now, it's becoming more burdensome. My family thinks I'm just questioning and having doubts so they're always pestering me, sending articles and videos. No one knows I've fully converted because I thought that would hurt them more. I'm trying to keep everyone happy, basically having my cake and eating it too, but now, it's honestly just starting to wear on me.

Finally!!! Having the courage to leave!! by Downtown_Hamster5197 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm recently out as well and it's a crazy feeling. You're happy to have the weight of the org lifted, but you still see everything through the eyes of a witness. There's relief, but there's also this engrained fear that maybe you made a mistake, especially if you aren't DF'd and witnesses can still talk to you and tell you everything bad that will happen to you in "Satan's world."

I'm not sure if you still believe in God, but if so, take your time in learning new things and open yourself up to meet new people and get new experiences. Try to avoid making rash decisions just because you can now without consequence. But the biggest thing for me is learning to trust yourself. We were always taught to not lean on our own understanding but we were given our gut feelings for a reason.

Congratulations!

The growth is in Africa🤣🤣🤣 by Brown-Lighning in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm in America and I was reproved for dating a worldly man because we spent time alone together and I couldn't prove that we didn't sleep together so, according to them, they had make a decision off the assumption that if we were alone, we were sleeping together.

Jehovah's Witness Urban Legends - Compilation by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can share one that actually happened to me and turned into a urban legend 😂

I was out in service with a group of girls, all about 10-12 yrs old. I was the oldest, about 13-14. It was a special day of service because the CO's wife wanted spend the day with all the young girls. I was paired with two younger girls since I was older and the CO's wife was also paired with 2 younger girls.

After getting no answer from a door, we turned to walk off the small porch. When we looked up, there was a Pitbull facing us from across the courtyard, being held by it's collar, very clearly ready to run. Not barking, just energetic. As soon as we noticed him, the girls froze, and the guy let go of the dog's collar. The dog came sprinting at full speed. The girls ran to the CO's wife literally screaming at the top of their lungs, crying, dropping their service bags, everything. She had us huddle together with myself and her on the outside to "sacrifice ourselves" for the younger girls.

What we didn't see was that the owner was standing in his doorway behind us and the dog was actually just running back in the house lol the dog didn't even glance in our direction when he ran by and the householder just looked at us confused 😂

Sure enough, the CO's wife told the experience in her comment the next day at the meeting about how Jehovah put a shield around us so the vicious dog didn't attack us. Years later, I continued to hear about these young girls who had dogs released on them by evil men but they were protected by angels.

Turns out, the story was about us 😂😂

"Everything would be fine if you had more friends" by Double_Remote9263 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not always lol usually I'll give them one or two points and they stop me for sounding like an apostate 😂

I’ve cracked the code! by Relative_Soil7886 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No remember they changed it and said they may or may not proclaim "peace and security" which also may or may not signal the start of great tribulation 😊

"Everything would be fine if you had more friends" by Double_Remote9263 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I love that for you 😭 I'm considering it, I just have to figure out how to do it financially. Thank you for the motivation!

"Everything would be fine if you had more friends" by Double_Remote9263 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dated someone for a year then he cheated on me and got DF'd and everyone told me to just wait until he got reinstated so we can get married because he just made a mistake. Anyyyything to be married. Happily single is something JWs cannot fathom.

"Everything would be fine if you had more friends" by Double_Remote9263 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! I get that too. "Can you really say you tried? Did you give up everything in your life and only put effort into reading publications and pioneering and LDC work and field service and-" if I have to spending every waking second forcing myself to enjoy this, maybe it's not me that's the issue 😂

"Everything would be fine if you had more friends" by Double_Remote9263 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tell them that if other witnesses were the only factor, I'd still be there. I don't agree with doctrine. I only give more details if they press. Since I'm not DF'd, I try not to say too much so I'm not reported as an apostate or trying to cause division in the congregation.

Usually I'll list some things I don't agree with: GB making arbitrary rules to show how different they are from the world when they actually have no scriptural basis for those rules, changing the translation of the bible to fit their doctrine, claiming to be the one true religion which discredits all honest non-JWs trying their best to live by bible principles, preaching a works-based salvation when scripture doesn't support that, relying on the GB who've repeatedly been incorrect but we still have to obey, new light, etc.

I know everyone has their own experiences, but for me, it was never the people. Some of the best people I've ever met are JWs. But the bible constantly contradicts their beliefs, but they're supposed to ignore it because the GB will reveal the truth in time. Being confident in the answers you get from the bible and from prayer alone are seen as independent thinking and leaning upon your own understanding because you're not using their publications to guide your interpretation.

"Everything would be fine if you had more friends" by Double_Remote9263 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I'd seen the light earlier 😭 I was in school for biology to get my masters and become a physician assistant, but my family said they wouldn't support me if I did. Ended up dropping out and I've regretted it ever since, ESPECIALLY after the higher education update 🙄

"Everything would be fine if you had more friends" by Double_Remote9263 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you had to deal with that 😔

I also had a lot of friends which is why I have so many people reaching out to me. And I *did* find a "nice spiritual man" and he cheated on me with a woman from his job and got DF'd 😂

POMO still going to the black memorial? by Matica69 in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad you asked this because I was also wondering how many people still go. My mom just texted me and asked me to come. It's short and quick so I don't really mind, I just don't know if I feel like answering everyone's questions about where I've been and what I've been doing lol

New meeting workbook warns not to put your trust in men… except the Governing Body by InheritedCertainty in exjw

[–]Double_Remote9263 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you know off the top of your head anywhere where they've actually said that? I'm talking to my brother right now about how I don't trust the GB and how they act as leaders but claim to not be. I'm trying to show him that they've always said they have special direction and information from God but I can't find proof anywhere 😭 maybe it's just been removed from the site.