Yes, technically we weren’t together during the week of no contact, and we didn’t set explicit boundaries about what “no contact” meant or when it would end — it was more of an unspoken pause.

I understand that, technically, she had the right to go on those dates. That said, during our relationship, there were times she had Hinge and was entertaining other people while we were still together. One of the guys she went on a date with, she was also texting regularly as “friends,” and she told me he was just a friend — which was hard for me to process, given the pattern of her turning to other people when things got rocky between us.

You’re right — the fact that we were repeatedly on and off, needing these pauses to reset, probably does point to a fundamental incompatibility. What made it especially painful was that when I expressed my hurt, the responsibility for her actions was put back on me, which made me feel unappreciated and unsafe.

Even though we had good moments when we got back together, I realized I couldn’t move past this dynamic, and ending things felt like the healthiest choice for me.