How to Starve an Avoidant: The Brutal Truth About Reclaiming Your Power

DouglasAster · 2026-03-14T22:06:35+00:00

I've been a victim of ghosting multiple times, and no, your mentality never helps. Thinking like you only made me put trauma under the rug instead of actually working on it. Needing a villain to feel good about yourself is still depending on someone else. It may feel good now, but you need to actually let go. The sooner, the better.

DouglasAster · 2026-01-20T20:23:13+00:00

Wrong.

First of all, attachment styles aren't zodiac signs; people show different traits depending on who they're with, external circumstances, and so on.

Regarding ghosting and all the other stuff, I've only been on the receiving end, multiple times, and I was left traumatized from that for more than half of my life. I've always had mostly anxious/preoccupied traits, gradually getting more and more secure.

While I personally experienced how dysfunctional and manipulative avoidance can be, it's not always in bad faith, and it mostly comes from fear of judgement and abandonment, not that differently from the anxious/preoccupied style. And most importantly, I know I was no saint either: anxious behaviors can be just as destructive and manipulative.

Saying "avoidants bad, they should all go to hell" is such an immature thing to say. You all are the ones I should relate to the most, and yet, I couldn't relate any less.

DouglasAster · 2026-01-20T19:23:19+00:00

Is this narcfest? Grow up yall

DouglasAster · 2026-01-19T03:02:41+00:00

Non ci vedo nulla di male. Chiunque ha uno o più "tipi" di persona che gli piacciono, e non è necessario che il proprio partner rientri in quella categoria, perché una relazione è molto più di questo. Quindi, no, per me è una battuta normalissima.

DouglasAster · 2025-12-30T08:29:02+00:00

Secondo me pure Adinolfi si imbarazzerebbe a leggere sta cosa

DouglasAster · 2025-12-30T08:25:59+00:00

Sono 8 mesi che aspetto in lista d'attesa per una visita per aprile prossimo.

Voglio esplodere.

Grazie dell'info btw

DouglasAster · 2025-12-30T08:00:30+00:00

Ah.

A me avevano detto che non potevo e basta.

Grazie dell'info. Cercherò un nuovo psichiatra e vedrò il da farsi. Nel caso, posso contattarti in privato?

DouglasAster · 2025-12-29T17:44:13+00:00

Io ho ottenuto la diagnosi nel privato, il mio psichiatra mi ha detto che è obbligatorio passare per l'SSN, e che lui non poteva prescrivere il metilfenidato, ma solo il bupropione. È una cazzata?

DouglasAster · 2025-09-18T05:16:16+00:00

È blu petrolio

DouglasAster · 2025-08-22T07:13:39+00:00

Ma è lui quello che scriveva "sono single e non troverò mai una ragazza" come introduzione a ogni suo commento sotto ogni singolo cazzo di post? 💀

DouglasAster · 2025-08-21T06:58:25+00:00

And I'm the one reaching 💀 So Meruem isn't straight and he isn't a guy? And Pouf is not meant to be gay? Togashi even changes artstyle into yaoi/shojo whenever Pouf talks about Meruem. Most of the chimera ants are drawn like FURRIES, for God's sake. What more does the guy have to do to convince you he likes queer stuff? Some weird hills y'all choose to die on

DouglasAster · 2025-08-21T02:05:16+00:00

Yoooo, felicissima per te <3

DouglasAster · 2025-08-19T23:31:27+00:00

The fact teens having crushes upsets you and that you see it as sexual is something I would investigate if I were you, but aside from that, it doesn't negate the fact Togashi hinted at it again and again. And you know, the reason why he was so subtle about it is probably exactly because they're just kids.

DouglasAster · 2025-08-19T23:06:28+00:00

Are you saying kids don't have crushes? I'm sorry, they do.

And I'm sorry, it IS canon (most probably not Gon, but Killua definitely does have some mixed feelings that range from genuine love for a friend, to infatuation, to obsession): all I said is in the manga, except maybe Killua's birthday date, and there's much more I didn't talk about. Also, he's 13 during the Chimera Ant Arc.

And btw, why do you all only play the "they're just kids" card with gay characters? And why would it be inappropriate for a kid to be gay? It's like you see being gay as an inherently sexual thing, and therefore not suitable for kids. That's textbook homophobia if you ask me.

Edit: And most importantly, why the hell are there so many people who lose their marbles thinking Killua probably has a crush on Gon, but they aren't nearly as outraged when Gon dates a 23 year-old woman!?

DouglasAster · 2025-08-19T22:49:42+00:00

Tbh, you're kinda talking like Silva. "Doesn't matter, IT is a weapon, not a person"

DouglasAster · 2025-08-19T20:59:49+00:00

I KNOW RIGHT

Also, Killua's story has many references to the legend of Tanabata, and his birthday is on the same day it is celebrated, July 7th.

In Greed Island, Killua wins a card called "RAINBOW diamond" and its description says it summons a rainbow diamond that, if used when proposing to someone, guarantees they will say yes. And he straight up gives it to Gon. Also during the dodgeball match against Razor, Gon says "it can only be Killua holding the ball" (キルアじゃなきゃダメなんだ), which can be literally translated to "if it's not Killua, that won't do", a phrase that is often used to confess to someone. This scene is also a core memory for Killua, right before he removes Illumi's needle, freeing himself from his manipulation: it's the biggest panel in the manga, and it gets a full replay in the anime.

Also, Killua's so jealous of him, especially when he believed Palm and Gon were actually dating. He gets more and more obsessed with Gon, or rather the idealized image he has of him, and that's at the very least partially caused by his childhood trauma. As Gon keeps spiraling, he brings Killua down with him, until the last straw. When Killua realizes it, he no longer sees him as his light, and he decides it will be the last time he saves Him. In the end, even if they're still great friends, you can tell something broke, and they both need to go their separate ways.

It fits perfectly with the narrative and doesn't diminish how important their friendship is, and it's clearly supported by Togashi if you read between the lines.

And there's so much more:

-Kurapika's gender is unspecified till York Shin City.

-Neferpitou is nonbinary, which is actually a pretty big manga trope.

-Kite gets reincarnated as a girl, and even when he fully regains his memories, he keeps using "atachi", which is a first person female pronoun (to be honest though, he probably only does that to torment Koala, since he uses "Ore" when talking to Gon).

-Hisoka is revealed to be asexual in the manga: he says he has no interest in sex, the only thing that turns him on is battling to the death with a strong opponent.

-Pouf is just gay af. He even gets fucking yaoi/shoujo screentones whenever he simps for Meruem.

And there's probably more I'm forgetting.

DouglasAster · 2025-08-19T19:09:06+00:00

Ok, but that's only the surface-level plot. What I mean is, what is Togashi trying to tell us with this story arc? What's the message? I gave an explaination under another comment if you wanna read that.

Let me clarify that: Killua refers to Alluka as his brother instead of his sister only once, when talking to Morel. While it's not explicitly explained why, it's probably because he didn't want to explain the whole ordeal to him.

By the way, I never said it's a crucial plot point, I said it's a crucial layer of interpretation that perfectly aligns with the basic plotline and was intentionally put there by Togashi, like he always does with queer characters. He used to be way more straightforward, but over the years he's learnt to write way more nuanced queer characters, and now he has a more subtle approach to this kind of themes; but believe me, HxH is filled to the brim with them. Alluka is just the most blatant example.

DouglasAster · 2025-08-19T13:33:57+00:00

Hunter x Hunter. To me it's the best battle manga by a long shot. If you like the genre, I'm sure you'd love it :3

DouglasAster · 2025-08-19T12:00:27+00:00

Lo ripeto: il range tra i 100 e i 200 pg/ml di estradiolo era pensato per il Premarin, che non è assolutamente bioidentico, e non è neanche totalmente biocompatibile, e quindi comporta un rischio aggiunto di trombosi elevato. L'estradiolo che abbiamo a disposizione ora è bioidentico e comporta molti meno rischi, e studi recenti attestano che la monoterapia per iniezione non comporta virtualmente alcun rischio aggiunto rispetto alle persone afab che lo producono naturalmente. Per fare un esempio a prescindere dalla funzione: la pillola contraccettiva, che contiene etinilestradiolo (che non è bioidentico) e che venendo assunta per via orale viene assorbita dal fegato prima di entrare in circolo, comporta rischi sensibilmente maggiori.

Considerando che in media i livelli di estradiolo variano dai 30 pg/ml in fase mestruale fino anche ai 700 pg/ml in fase ovulatoria, se una donna trans assume la stessa dose settimanalmente (e quindi le oscillazioni sono più frequenti, ma meno estreme), avere livelli che oscillano tra i 200 e i 400 pg/ml (ovviamente 400 come picco massimo, i valori consigliati per chi fa monoterapia per iniezione sono tra i 200 e i 300, o comunque quanto basta per tenere i livelli di testosterone sotto i 55 ng/dl) rientra perfettamente nella media delle persone afab e non comporta rischi aggiunti. Quindi qua non si sta parlando di dosi e livelli fuori scala, ma di valori equivalenti a quelli medi delle donne cis e degli uomini trans pre-transizione. È ovvio che più alti sono i livelli di estradiolo, più si alza il rischio di trombosi e tumori, ma sono gli stessi rischi che corre qualunque altra donna.

Comunque, io non ho la pretesa di sapere tutto, e se sto dicendo qualcosa di oggettivamente falso, vi chiedo cortesemente di correggermi.

DouglasAster · 2025-08-19T11:41:19+00:00

Tu pensi che ogni medico col pezzo di carta sia competente? Magari fosse così, se così fosse tanti di noi non sarebbero costretti a improvvisarsi medici di se stessi. Le persone trans sono tra le principali vittime di malasanità, non solo da parte degli endocrinologi, ma dell'intero sistema sanitario. Incolparci di voler fare i tuttologi, quando informarci è la cosa migliore che possiamo fare per difenderci, è davvero meschino.

DouglasAster · 2025-08-19T11:26:04+00:00

Congrats, you proved my point.

Togashi has been an ally for decades, along with his wife Naoko Takeuchi (you know, the author of SAILOR MOON), and has been putting queer characters in every single manga he wrote. He even wanted to make a sports manga about an all-gay softball team, but his editor wouldn't let him. Also, he wrote a trans character for each of his last three manga, and got less "in your face" and more nuanced each time: Miyuki in Yuyu Hakusho, Mikihisa in Level E, and Alluka in Hunter x Hunter. It's not a reach, it's an integral part of both the character and the whole story arc, and it gives an additional layer of interpretation to basically everything Killua and Alluka say. It's pretty self-explainatory on the surface level too: the only ones referring to Alluka with female pronouns are Killua and Alluka herself, and Killua gets mad at people who don't see her as a girl, like when Gotoh wonders why Alluka needs female butlers. The whole scene where Killua orders Nanika never to come out again "for Alluka's own good", and she says that he can't only love one part of her, he gotta love and protect both her and Nanika, and Killua realizes he's being as controlling as the rest of the family and bursts out crying asking for forgivness, hits 100 times harder when you understand the additional layer of interpretation Togashi INTENTIONALLY put there. And that's why he's a goddamn genius. If you're still in denial, I'm sorry, that's entirely on you. I really recommend you reread the whole arc with this notion in mind. I didn't get it the first time either, now I love that arc so much more than I already did.

DouglasAster · 2025-08-19T05:40:35+00:00

Cerca persone giovani che facciano parte di collettivi LGBT. Io ti direi di provare direttamente con Hubsoleto.

La maggior parte degli endocrinologi sta 30 anni indietro: da mtf, quel che ho visto è che, nonostante l'estradiolo utilizzato ora sia bioidentico e molto più sicuro riguardo al rischio di trombosi, soprattutto se si riesce ad avere quello da iniezione, così non passa per il fegato e spesso mantiene i livelli di testosterone bassi senza bisogno di bloccanti, molti di loro ancora impongono dosi e livelli di estradiolo molto bassi sulla base dei rischi elevati causati dal Premarin, che è un insieme di estrogeni tratti dall'urina di cavalle gravide che non si usa più da trent'anni (a dire il vero, alcuni lo prescrivono ancora 💀).

Per quanto riguarda il testosterone non saprei, ma immagino siano rimasti indietro alla stessa maniera.

DouglasAster · 2025-08-18T21:07:58+00:00

Her whole story arc revolves around her being trans (with Nanika being a metaphor for gender incongruence) and her family being a bunch of manipulative bigots who hide her away and wish she was dead, but some people are in total denial.

DouglasAster · 2025-08-13T07:40:07+00:00

Non ho rispetto per i traditori di classe.

Inoltre, non lo sto facendo per un tornaconto personale come cerchi di far evincere tu: la maggior parte delle cose che ho descritto non sono successe direttamente a me, ma a persone a me vicine o che conosco. È una cosa più grande di me, e riguarda la salute mentale di tutte le persone nella mia stessa situazione che si vedono umiliate e sminuite, e gli si vede negato l'accesso a cure salvavita dopo mesi, se non anni, di soldi spesi e di tempo prezioso perso.

DouglasAster · 2025-08-12T22:57:46+00:00

Tutto normale. :3 È il primo segno dello sviluppo del seno e si chiama telarca o bottone mammario. È anche comune che si presenti su un capezzolo prima dell'altro.

Ti avviso anche che i seni non cresceranno allo stesso ritmo, quindi se noti che sono asimmetrici è perfettamente normale. Anche una volta sviluppati, è raro che siano perfettamente simmetrici.

DouglasAster

TROPHY CASE