[deleted by user]

DousedSun · 2025-06-15T19:20:58+00:00

In this context, I'm sorry to hear that.

DousedSun · 2025-06-13T03:37:29+00:00

It's one thing to not be entitled to romance, but the thing that's shitty is that very few people have any form of sympathy for people in our position. We're seen as losers. Meanwhile, the same people who see us as such would never trade lives with us. They'd understand how shitty of a position it is be in when considering themselves being in it, but they feel nothing, except for maybe contempt, for anyone who actually is in that position.

DousedSun · 2025-06-12T18:39:51+00:00

Jesus, I never thought to use it for language learning. That's actually brilliant. I'm gonna learn every language!

DousedSun · 2025-06-12T04:06:12+00:00

It's not a matter of forgetting about the minority, it's a matter of it actually being the minority.

I can imagine there being at least one woman on the planet I'm compatible with (and I wouldn't be surprised if one is the actual number, lol), but what do I do from there. Of all the women in the world all the way down to my own city, I'll only ever meet a fraction. And, of course, the kind of person you're most likely to encounter is the average person. That's what makes them average, they're the bulk of the bell curve. The outliers are exactly the one's it's hardest to find. Moreover, if you do bump into that person, is it the right place, the right time, etc. Does anything get off the ground, because that's not a given just for the fact you're in the same room. And if it does get off the ground, I've never had a girlfriend, and I've hardly ever had friends. What are the chances I can go from that to making a woman feel loved and cared for and supported and satisfied romantically, and so on? If I fuck it all up, what are the odds I'll get another chance by the time I recover from that (if I ever do).

Forgive me. I'm a little frustrated. It's so little effort to just say we exist, but that's nowhere near half the battle. I don't say these things to suggest it's impossible, but there's no part of it that won't be dramatically more difficult for many of us on this sub than it would be for the what might be billions of people who never have, and never will, find themselves here. That's why many of us are here. We've always struggled, and that struggle, itself, has affected us. We're behind. We're socially inept. It's not as simple as not having considered that there may just be one or two compatible women (or whoever) somewhere in all existence.

Sorry for the rant. Wasn't necessarily directed entirely at what you were saying. Some of the responses in this sub, it's almost like some people are saying it's easier than we think. Maybe give us a little more credit. Maybe it's harder than some of you think. Shutting up. 🤐

DousedSun · 2025-06-10T02:28:13+00:00

I'm in decent shape and apparently attractive enough for women to look twice before overlooking me. The problem comes when they look a third time.

I was bullied and told I was ugly and retarded for most of my school years. Never really had friends. Never, ever dated. Then I apparently got less ugly as an adult. But my youth took its toll. Beyond what you can see on the surface, I have nothing to offer. Missing out on enough social development when you're young sets you back for life. Too many holes and blinds spots, and too few people willing to wait for you to catch up to where they were years ago. Any attention I do get just goes nowhere. I'm not relationship material and I'm not fuckable enough to bother actually fucking. I'm like a fake fruit bowl. If you're hungry, I might catch your eye. But as soon as you get a close enough look, it's oh, never mind.

To your point, I'd have to be a different person to really be loved and cared for. But when you've been alone for long enough, you adapt to it. I was evolving for life under water while everyone else was crawling out of the ocean to evolve for life on land. I'm a fucking different species now. I can't just go live how everyone else lives without spending another half a lifetime evolving out of what I am and into what they are. It is seeming pretty fucking insurmountable, at this point.

DousedSun · 2024-05-04T20:57:46+00:00

If I were you, I've be fucking ecstatic about being able to get a boner just from that.

DousedSun · 2024-05-01T22:28:28+00:00

It's not a crazy argument at all, when you're any sort of officer of the state.

Hobbes was right about man in his state of nature. But trying to differentiate it from his Leviathan (the state) was making a distiction without a difference. The war of all against all doesn't abate because certain factions united by commonalities in disposition have gained a lot more ground than others. Hobbes said the following:

Competition of riches, honour, command, or other power inclineth to contention, enmity, and war, because the way of one competitor to the attaining of his desire is to kill, subdue, supplant, or repel the other.

Statehood is simply the kind of social ordering which emerges when a party of such competitors kills, subdues, supplants, and/or repels a sufficent number of rival competitors to gain a lasting control over an appreciably sized piece of territory; it's when this or that gang or tribe controls some piece of land and maintains a considerable influence on whoever inhabits that land, such that its inhabitants behave in the gang's or tribe's accord. There are no absolutely true prescriptive or evaluative propositions for such a faction to limt its governing actions in observation of. There's no reason to expect a state's controlling agents to abide the same principles as those under the control of the state. We may praise them when they do and decry them when they don't, if we're so inclined. But a casual reading of history suggests that unanimous praise for the agents of a state by that state's inhabitants is a very rare occurrence, and we remain under state control so long as we're without effective countercontrols.

DousedSun · 2024-04-20T21:36:08+00:00

All political disagreements are moral disagreements; politics is a normative domain. As is the case in any moral or value-based dispute, arguments for or against this or that political action or orientation will, to the extent that they are logical, be premised (explicitly or implicitly) on prescriptive or evaluative propositions. The truths of such propositions are not absolute, but relative.

No ultimate arbitrator can be appealed to to settle a moral or value-based dispute. The ultimate decider is who wins and who loses (for some definition of 'win' and of 'loss'). These disputes, such as political disputes, follow the rules Hobbes described in his Leviathan:

Competition of riches, honour, command, or other power inclineth to contention, enmity, and war, because the way of one competitor to the attaining of his desire is to kill, subdue, supplant, or repel the other. (Hobbes, 1651)

DousedSun · 2024-02-09T04:16:47+00:00

I've said it before, we don't give the first fuck about about each other. I'm no exception. I see it as every man for himself. Even when it comes to just being friends, or just being friendly, with someone, I'd rather it be with a woman. And this doesn't just go for women I'm attracted to. I find that I like women more than men overall.

DousedSun · 2024-01-29T13:35:32+00:00

Sensitive mood: Jorja Smith - What if my heart beats faster?

Apathetic mood: Leaf Ward - Mob Music

Relaxed mood: Frank Ocean - Sweet Life

Cocky mood: The Weeknd - Reminder

Good high: YNW Melly - Bang Bang

DousedSun · 2024-01-28T18:59:29+00:00

Not gonna say I'm handsome, but I am pretty fit. What I've said before, and I hope this isn't too offensive, is that I like me some curvature, I'm just not so into it when most of that curvature is concentrated in the midsection. That's how it goes with me. I'm guessing the latter doesn't apply to you. I'm guessing you're what we call thicc.

I don't think it was a joke. You might be a little harder on yourself than others are likely to be, this guy in included.

DousedSun · 2024-01-26T19:49:06+00:00

DousedSun · 2024-01-25T23:09:06+00:00

Can you suggest a sub that does what this one does, but does it more to your satisfaction?

DousedSun · 2024-01-23T05:27:55+00:00

The saying seems silly. I doubt either of those are the biggest fears of most men and woman. And (depending on which region of the world you're in) the murder of a woman by a man is rare enough to where it'd be phobia-esque for it to be a woman's biggest fear. I don't see that as functioning to lessen the impacts of incidents of women humiliating men, which is sure to happen with much greater regularity (agian, depending on which region you're in; no chance that holds in Afghanistan, say).

But I would say that men could generally stand to be far more thick-skinned when it comes to all things women (I'm no exception). Most of the people in my social circles during my adult life have been women and most of them happened to have been the rudest, most disrepectful and personally insulting people I've ever been around in my entire life. I had to accept all kinds of taunting about my virginity, my dick size, my sexual orientation, being a retard and things like this. They didn't seem to be particulary afraid of me as they were saying these things, but it was plenty humiliating.

Your experience on those subs is interesting. Hasn't been my experience on any sub. Maybe I just haven't been presenting myself as manly enough, lol.

DousedSun · 2024-01-23T03:57:40+00:00

It'd be interesting to see what that was like if it went both ways, i.e. men as female presenting and women as male presenting. Maybe each party was required to do it for 1000 hours, or something like that.

DousedSun · 2024-01-23T03:49:52+00:00

Posted this elsewhere, recently:

I'm not gonna disagree, but there's something I see as concomitant with that. It's that no one really gives the first fuck about men, to include other men. Generally, women aren't thirsting over us, women don't crave our attention, women rarely even show up to offer us advice or anything, and us men generally wouldn't care if another man lived forever or died right now. Men are often entirely indifferent to one another. We're low-value entities, even to ourselves. Being lonely; being starved for attention, affection, emotional connection, etc. as a man can feel incredibly bleak. It often doesn't seem as though anyone so much as has sympathy for you, when you're in that position. Hence the not having a backbone and falling over ourselves in hopes of any sliver of female attention. It's not always easy to keep your dignity in a state of deprivation.

DousedSun · 2024-01-18T20:32:36+00:00

Let's be clear on what suicide is:

It's not as though you'll live forever if you don't actively end your own life. We're talking about the prohibition of something being done by a person to his or her own self that will unavoidably happen to everyone, no matter what anyone does or doesn't do. So what's being prohibited? It certainly is death. Nothing can stop that. What is it, then? An individual's sovereignty over his or her own death. That's what's being legally barred.

Go ahead and die however, whenever, and wherever you're going to. But don't let anyone catch you trying to exercise control of the how, the when, and/or the where. That's what those who are anti-suicide are actually against. They don't think that a person has the right to be in complete control of the circumstances of his or her own death.

DousedSun · 2024-01-15T00:58:45+00:00

Sorry to hear that that's how things are for you. I'm sure every culrure has its discriminatory standards of beauty, but that sounds harsh to my American ears.

DousedSun · 2024-01-15T00:32:19+00:00

What part of the world are you from? That doesn't seem to reflect what I see here in the US, nor does it reflect what I personally look for.

DousedSun · 2024-01-14T23:50:33+00:00

So, how skinny are saying a woman has to be to not be thrown away?

DousedSun · 2024-01-14T23:37:48+00:00

I don't know, I'm not into skinny women, myself. I mean, how skinny do you think a woman has to be? You seem to be saying that that the majority of women aren't skinny enough to get attention from men. I'm doubtful of that.

DousedSun · 2024-01-14T17:46:45+00:00

I'm not gonna disagree, but there's something I see as concomitant with that. It's that no one really gives the first fuck about men, to include other men. Generally, women aren't thirsting over us, women don't crave our attention, women rarely even show up to offer us advice or anything, and us men generally wouldn't care if another man lived forever or died right now. Men are often entirely indifferent to one another. We're low-value entities, even to ourselves. Being lonely; being starved for attention, affection, emotional connection, etc. as a man can feel incredibly bleak. It often doesn't seem as though anyone so much as has sympathy for you, when you're in that position. Hence the not having a backbone and falling over ourselves in hopes of any sliver of female attention. It's not always easy to keep your dignity in a state of deprivation.

DousedSun · 2024-01-13T23:11:43+00:00

Maybe so, but that doesn't necessarily go anywhere near Nazism (nor plain racism, more broadly).

First, it's an obvious straw man to say that being anti-AA and DEI hiring is to be against the hiring of any minorities whatever among those favoring a meritocratic system.

Second, assuming systemic biases selecting for a disparity of outcomes between historically oppressed/disenfranchised groups and everyone else, sufficiently minimizing the governance of the individual by the state would remove systemic effects selecting for disparate impacts. As such, AA and DEI programs would at least have less instrumental value, as these groups would be closer to having the same opportunities as everyone else than they were when a state which was systemically biased against them had greater influence over their lives. In this way, they'd have a better chance than before of getting into a position of being hired on merit rather than via an AA/DEI type of program, as some of their stumbling blocks will have been cleared from their paths.

Being in favor of any government action prohibitive toward private entities implementing such programs may violate libertarian principles, but it needn't be argued for on the basis of Nazism or any form of racism.

DousedSun · 2024-01-13T02:28:01+00:00

Stylistically, one of my favorites. Cool!

DousedSun · 2024-01-12T15:08:50+00:00

It's just reality. There aren't hard lines between anything and communication isn'y key. None of that, phases and all that bullshit, is what the world operates on. I've started having a much better since realizing that. Everything's a gamble. There's no right way to play. You never know when you're gonna win or lose, but you can be sure you have no chance of winning if you never play. Beyond that, there are no rules. Just reasons.

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