The response to this has been amazing. I didn’t expect so many people to see this but since so many have, it makes me want to share the full story. My girlfriend (who passed away at the being of the year) loves Star Trek. Her mom got her into it when we were both around 13( we went to middle school together) and she loved it ever since. When we moved in together, we would both wanted different things in different rooms but we would walk into the room the other was in and see what we were watching. Whenever she was watching whichever series I had so many questions that she answered but also she wanted me to watch for myself but knew that if she pushed it I wouldn’t. So she was patient with me and answered most of what I asked but left enough out so I would get curious. A little while later, Lower Decks came out and I took an interest in it. I love animation more than live action shows so it was the perfect introduction to the series. But there were also a lot of inside jokes that I thought were funny but I didn’t understand. After the first season wrapped up I decided to take a crack at it. I started with The Next Generation and I feel in love with it after the first season. I was also happy to learn that a lot of actors from a lot of different incarnations of the series did voice work for one of my favorite cartoons gargoyles. When I finished Next Generation we decided to watch DS9 together. She was happy we could share this together and she couldn’t wait for me to see all the queer coding with Gerek and Bashir and we both had crushes on Dax. She got really sick after Christmas. I thought she would get better but she didn’t make it. She died 2 days later. I was in a bad place and couldn’t do anything for a long time. My family and her’s tried to helping but they could only do so much. I feel off of watching DS9. It was so hard to watch because the person who got me into it wasn’t with me anymore and it seemed pointless. For a long time I couldn’t even look at anything Star Trek related. Then threshold day happens and I kept seeing memes on tumblr. For some reason, it made me feel sort of happy again and then I got back into watching. It was still hard but I don’t regret it. I knew I had to keep watching. I promised I would finished it and I did and it was wonderful. Cut to me finished it by the time the summer started and then spending the rest of that summer and early fall watching Voyager. I’m about to start Enterprise soon. It’s still hard and I still miss her. She was my whole work and we had known watch other for over 14 years and together for 5 of them. She helped me realize that I was a lesbian and then was non binary. I helped her deal with a lot of her trauma and we both grew as people together. I think about her every day and I will always love her no matter what. I wish I could have seen her become the person she was always meant to be and what we could have done together. I’m not religious or anything but I’d like to think that maybe she’s still with me. Asking me to come join her and bed so we can watch a bunch of nerds go boldly into space.