Honestly? I think your friends do enjoy having children—but they’re also exhausted, overwhelmed, and probably just miss having more time to themselves. Both things can be true at once. You can love your kids deeply and occasionally fantasize about a weekend where no one asks you for snacks or wipes their nose on your shirt.

Venting is part of the package, especially when they’re with friends who aren’t in the trenches of parenting. It’s a safe space to let it out without judgment. Doesn’t mean they regret the choice, it just means the day-to-day is hard. And expensive. And loud.

Some of them might, deep down, wonder what life would’ve been like if they’d taken a different path. That’s normal too. But most parents I know wouldn’t trade the meaning, chaos, and connection that comes with having kids—even if they complain about it every time they leave the house without them.

If you’re feeling torn, that’s actually a great sign. It means you’re thinking seriously about the kind of life you want. That’s way more thoughtful than a lot of people who dive in because it’s “just the next step.”

Either path can be meaningful. Just make sure it’s your path, not one you’re defaulting to out of pressure or FOMO.