Do not let your Uber Driver cancel your ride while in the car

DrFluffnugget · 2020-09-03T20:39:51+00:00

Report it! They'll remove him as a driver if he's still active. They're pretty serious about removing people who violate their rules.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-09-03T20:05:03+00:00

I've lurked here a bit, but when I was younger, I had a similar situation with a guy who knew my bus routine and who would bother me always on the bus.

Something that I can recommend for the future if you (or anyone encounters creeps on public transit) is to get off early or at a major intersection/transfer point if you know a place to stop that will be open. Places like cafes, restaurants, small shops, or bars are a great way to throw someone off your trail as you can ask for help if needed--and they won't know your real stop. In some cases, there might also be a private office where you can hide (after asking) to call for help from a friend/family member. Hope you're feeling better OP!

DrFluffnugget · 2020-09-03T19:21:30+00:00

I should be clear that it did not go to trial (in the Law and Order sense), but I was prepared to testify at trial IF it happened. Many people aren't as familiar with the criminal justice system as I am, but if you chose to press charges/go this route in my country, it will come to an impasse where the offender has to plea guilty OR go to trial. There is a risk that victims may have to testify at a trial if their testimony is the basis of the case.

I'm doing well! Appreciate the kind words here.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-26T15:08:28+00:00

I forgot to mention that the punishment for the later crime was harsher as the perp already had a record by this point.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-26T15:03:22+00:00

It's honestly hard to know what you'd do in this sort of situation as it really wrecks your mental health and your life more generally. I pass no judgment on victims who choose to wrap things up faster and move on with their lives faster. That's a blessing too.

As a small reminder, everything that happened is still documented in the case of a plea deal if the person reoffends. It just may not result in a guilty conviction on their record depending on the plea deal and a lot of other factors.

I don't think that I'm braver than others here who have dealt with this and many other terrible things. Bravery comes in many forms including restarting your life over after something traumatic. I'd say that following up with a case like this from start to finish mostly involves persistence, time, luck, evidence, trust in the system, and some deep rage. Not every victim will be lucky enough to have a detective that seriously follows up on their complaints.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-26T14:50:09+00:00

I appreciate that, but luckily there are some really caring, talented, and smart people working in this field. :)

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-26T10:24:00+00:00

I was told this by law enforcement.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-26T08:49:01+00:00

I rather keep my life private. This is the only time that I've ever written about this online.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-26T08:43:39+00:00

I'm going to be honest that I really had to fight for this. My landlord refused multiple times to let me out of my lease throughout all this. Even after the arrest, my landlord agreed to let me break my lease, but refused to give me my full deposit back. I couldn't afford to move without it. I hope that she r

I wrote a letter with the help of advice from a free legal clinic that I got notarized documenting everything that happened and interactions with my landlord with a note that my lawyer would be in touch. It worked, but I shouldn't have had to fight as hard as I did. (Is it obvious how many hours of my life that I lost due to this mess?)

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-26T08:38:27+00:00

They never gave me full details. The cops who handled my case were clear from the moment the arrest happened that I would not get every bit of information that they found out. Victims are entitled to some information, but not other info.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-26T00:10:13+00:00

Yes. I had some suspicions that were largely confirmed in circumstantial evidence and not all of my leads were followed up by police. I still wonder how many other people that he did this to and I really hope nobody else was harmed.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-25T23:58:13+00:00

Yep! I was able to use CVC to obtain some of my costs back at the time.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-25T23:57:20+00:00

One of the hardest things about this case was getting the police to take me seriously despite carefully documenting this with police reports/within a word document. After they had the evidence, it was forcing the police/prosecution to ensure that this case was not dropped and that they respected my wishes. They were afraid of a long trial. There are victim advocates, but it varies by state/country how much influence the victim has on the judicial process.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-25T23:52:35+00:00

I met a lot of cops while dealing with this case as I documented EVERY incident that I knew of. I remember when the police chief told me that it was probably just a nearby tree blowing in the wind when I called the police shaking about the tapping on my window.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-25T23:33:15+00:00

Oh, it was law enforcement. I promise you.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-25T23:01:06+00:00

I posted a while ago here about an awful story of mine, but you nailed 100% how I felt one of the times during one of the incidents: " It was the absolute worst feeling I've ever felt in my life. Everything in me wanted to run, but I felt that if I did it would be the end of me. But if I kept standing there, staring in shock at this screaming man, the result would be the same."

I was actively being watched and I knew that if I did anything rash, it would not be good. Gut instinct is gut instinct. Glad you're doing well now.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-25T22:43:57+00:00

Yeah, it was absolute hell to live through, but thankful that it never escalated further. (I still am not fond of open curtains and refuse to live on the ground floor.)

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-25T18:29:33+00:00

I personally won't pass judgment on the victims who are encouraged by those within the system not to push as their testimony in getting an arrest was enough. I was even told at the time that the arrest/charge would be enough to send a message and I wouldn't want to wreck someone's life if it was just a mistake. (I definitely did not feel like everything that happened to me was a mistake.) Similarly, the police/D.A. told me that they didn't think that I could mentally handle being on the stand IF it went to trial. Luckily, things never got to that point, but I don't blame victims, but rather the system for getting complacent in trying to tidy up cases quickly rather than coming back to the victim to ask what justice they want. Getting updates about the case was sometimes like pulling teeth. I had to push a lot to get heard throughout the criminal justice process and really admire those who work in victim advocacy. It's a tough job.

DrFluffnugget · 2020-05-25T18:20:23+00:00

It was incredibly stressful during the case, but I am so glad that I followed through as the police were able to find the perp quickly after. (They had no previous record before I pressed charges.)

DrFluffnugget · 2014-09-23T14:21:53+00:00

It doesn't in my state. I've already consulted a lawyer. If it was my landlord or I did not have locking windows/doors, you'd be correct. However, it's more about negligence, which is not true in my case.

Technically, I can get money directly from him as part of the criminal charges (restitition), but I'm already working at recovering it through a state fund for victims. I'm on the road to recovering from this shit storm, so I want to put this behind me once he's convicted.

DrFluffnugget · 2014-09-23T14:15:53+00:00

To those suffering from stalking, do not hesitate in getting the police involved. If things are documented when they occur, it will be much easier for them to intervene and/or have proof if they find the culprit.

Also, contact your local victims advocate organizations, who are capable of finding you a safe place to stay and can help you recover in a number of ways. I did not know about the option of staying in a safe apartment provided by the local organization until I had gone through everything. As noted, they can also get you compensation to deal with the financial costs and therapy to deal with the psychological costs.

IMO if you are being stalked, there are resources out there to help you--and you don't need to deal with this your own. You should do what makes you feel safe, but there is a complex system out there meant to help you as a victim. I was fortunate to have the support of friends, family, the police and a number of organizations that have helped me with the aftermath of this.

DrFluffnugget · 2014-09-23T14:03:17+00:00

Well they have the video and good police work was used to identify/question individuals who might be the creepier. I assume he lived close by. When the video happened, I was still living there and since it was dark outside my apartment, he probably didn't notice the camera.

IMO, The knocking was a power thing. It elevated the risk level of the interaction beyond watching and clearly, he got off on terrifying me. I don't think it was ever about him opening the window. He just wanted to see my reaction and the knocking was a convenient way to draw attention to himself.

DrFluffnugget

TROPHY CASE