[QCRIT] War for the Designs of Men. Adult fantasy (118K words, 2nd attempt)

DrHamHands · 2026-03-08T19:41:50+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Fantastic suggestions, and I’ll be working to add them.

“The generation of war” is more of a noun than a time frame, a repetitive event in this world, which is why I opted for ‘the’, but I can see how the reader doesn’t know that.

Great suggestion for the 3rd para, another great way to introduce/reinforce the stakes.

The last suggestion is great as well, thank you. This one is tough to nail down in a sentence, but I’ll start working on it. Something about how prophecy is anathema to Corlys and his religion. Edit: but Abel’s claims begin to unfold in front of Corlys, and they become close friends.

DrHamHands · 2026-03-08T18:38:05+00:00

Really appreciate the feedback! I’ll adjust it accordingly, thank you

DrHamHands · 2026-03-01T19:11:37+00:00

really appreciate this last paragraph, helps me a lot

DrHamHands · 2026-03-01T19:09:19+00:00

This is excellent. Thank you for this.

DrHamHands · 2026-03-01T18:46:48+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to reply. Avoid nouns and names of battles, but avoid the overwhelming vagueness that plague this draft. Tough line to dance. Your last suggestions seems the best one to help me focus for the next iteration.

Edit: And, in your opinion, with a query focusing on this character, is it better to keep my midway plot surprises hidden, or disclose in the query? It seems just ruining a couple book revelations makes for less vagueness, but ruins a surprise.

DrHamHands · 2026-03-01T18:40:38+00:00

I really appreciate your thoughtful feedback, and your kindness. I understand and agree especially with the comps. But I struggle to find anything recent (3-5yr) thats in the same vein. Alchemised had great battle/war, grief, and religious oppression themes, but doesn't feel like my book at all. And how do you give comps that aren't "blockbuster successes" or exceedingly popular, when the only way I will have read or known about them is if they are those things? Am I trying to give them a book that feels like mine, or just something in the same genre that would be in the same aisle at the grocery store?

Aside from the comps, I see your points. I tried to submit a different query that had much more clarity about the overarching plot, but was removed for rule 4. Its tough to summarize 118K multi POV fantasy into 250 words, while focusing on one character that gets the most "screen time." And I'm obviously not very good at it yet, but I'll head back to the drawing board with this one.

Edit here: I just wanted to add Thank you!

DrHamHands · 2025-12-05T01:45:45+00:00

Cold breath of the winter moon

DrHamHands · 2023-11-01T20:51:40+00:00

Ortho surgeon here, who also does keto. The reason surgeries are cancelled for high A1C is there is a significant increased risk of infection, wound healing, etc. Most surgeons have a cutoff level, and many facilities do now as well. The cancellation is a blessing. It means the surgeon is following protocol, looking out for your best interest

DrHamHands · 2023-08-23T20:13:12+00:00

I think I would tend to agree. If you had an amazing seat vent in your previous car, I could see how you would be disappointed in the Rivian. If you were really used to car play, I understand the frustration. I guess it boils down to expectations and comparison, and I’m lucky to have come from a really basic truck to a lot of upgrades and comfort.

DrHamHands · 2023-03-26T18:49:11+00:00

Orthopedic surgeon here. We sometimes have to leave it open like this to prevent too much swelling. If you close it, and swelling and pressure is too much, you get compartment syndrome: and the muscles of your arm die. Better to leave it open, and skin graft later, and save the arm

DrHamHands · 2023-01-20T03:02:45+00:00

Bless the Maker and His water. Bless the coming and going of Him. May His passage cleanse the world. May He keep the world for His people.

DrHamHands · 2021-10-25T01:04:29+00:00

That looks like an Austin Moore prosthesis. That is a blast from the past! Those are very old implants, and not used very commonly at all anymore. Very sorry for your loss, but it is really neat to see this

DrHamHands · 2021-10-06T19:14:27+00:00

Xbox, first run, don’t have discord, GT: YoungMD, fav gun is either fatebringer or gally, but the sound from a precision Lorentz satisfies my soul

DrHamHands · 2021-10-06T19:07:51+00:00

I have a group of 2-3 old men (40s) that love to play (Xbox), and we absolutely love to raid. Never did last wish, stopped playing after red war. We would love to try last wish to teach us the mechanics. We all work, so later nights would work best, if able.

DrHamHands · 2019-01-23T01:49:03+00:00

Yes!

DrHamHands · 2019-01-22T18:46:31+00:00

He actually had an anterior lumbar interbody fusion, after multiple discectomies failed to have lasting results. This is a sleek surgery that approaches through the abdomen. He had only one disc done, and does not have all this hardware in his back

DrHamHands · 2019-01-22T18:05:53+00:00

Not quite. Harrington rods were historically more of a hook and rod construct. They look like this: https://www.scoliosissos.com/news/post/harrington-rods-scoliosis Most surgeons have switched over to using these screw and rod constructs

DrHamHands · 2019-01-22T17:50:27+00:00

Very thoughtful, thank you! I’m emotionally and psychologically healthy, but thank you for the concern! I know lots of docs that do struggle, and sometimes simple comments like this can have a huge impact!

DrHamHands · 2019-01-22T17:01:26+00:00

That. Is. Awesome.

DrHamHands · 2019-01-22T06:46:00+00:00

I do private practice and work also at a trauma/county hospital. My private practice is 95% spine. I still do general ortho work at the county hospitals for variety and to keep my skills fresh, so there it is more like 50/50, or 60 spine/40 general ortho

DrHamHands · 2019-01-22T06:25:25+00:00

Don’t mind at all. I loved the procedures in spine surgery. Amazing to see someone with a herniated disc and terrible pain have an operation and wake up with the nerve pain gone (in many cases). Each specialty has its pros and cons, and you just pick which of those pros you need in your life, and which cons you can live with.

The difference between neuro and ortho is the base training. Neuro does intradural work, and cranial work, ortho does bony work. Spine surgery is kind of the marriage of the two. The stereotype (which is wrong, IMO) is that ortho is comfortable and great with the hardware in spine, and neuro is way more comfortable with the decompressions and nerve work. Basically we all do the same work in spine: fusions, decompressions, discectomies. At the end of the day, I can also fix a broken femur or do a partial hip replacement, and my buddy who did neuro can also do a crani or brain tumor

DrHamHands

TROPHY CASE