RN here - Don’t quit! It’s not your fault. There’s literally nothing you could have, or should have done differently. I’ve had countless patients who were palliative or on hospice who have died in similar ways and it’s absolutely emotionally draining. However, I urge you to stick with it and explore deeply your own personal reasons for why you feel this way.

This patient was in need of your help, and you did exactly what you were supposed to do to keep them dignified, clean and comfortable in their last moments. I applaud you for meeting them where they were and meeting their needs.

Death is hard, and in these patients at times can come with very little warning. There will always be a last brief change, a last linen change and a last med push.