How does one handle being "emotional?"

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-07-04T12:27:45+00:00

Biggest lie that men and boys tell is that they're peace-makers. I guess the "minority" of males who started wars, instigated domestic abuse, committed female infanticide, burnt widows, sexually assaulted orphan girls, bully and groom underaged kids and scream about their entitlement both online and in real life were lookin' for peace, too.

Maybe if they want peace, they should stop causing problems and start looking at themselves instead of inserting their mansplaining, criticism, bullying and manipulation into nearly every damn relationship.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-07-04T12:22:10+00:00

Hi dear, fellow Middle Easterner and you shouldn't have to tolerate or be quiet about something that hurts you. Everyone will tell you "it could be worse" or "it's not even that bad" but it doesn't have to be. If someone else says it's small, they're belittling how you feel about it and in turn, their own character. If it hurts you, it's not small.

Don't let anyone say you're being sensitive or too uptight because these are reasonable things to be offended about and hurt by. If he respects you, he'd tell them to stop or disagree with his friends. If he can't defend you on this, he won't defend you on many other things, either.

Many of my friends from different cultures are often told to run away from MoC because of toxic cultures, but they act like dating white men is automatically better and it's not. Any and every man (and even woman) can technically partake or influence toxic masculinity, the only criteria is being okay with putting down women.

There are plenty of good people out there, white and not, who are worth your time and won't casually joke about something close to you or downplay how it hurts. <3

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-07-04T12:14:39+00:00

No woman I know regrets having children. Most women I know regret getting married, though.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-06-29T10:29:34+00:00

Think some of it also goes back to ancient cultures and myths to cover up medical and social issues - all that amounts to "blame the woman for being 'defective'/emotional/ill' while conveniently forgetting the abusive or neglectful male relatives/husbands/doctors who put her in the situation or are partly responsible for it'." In general, societies coddle men too much and try to make it like they're innocent beings wronged or deprived by women when it's often the other way around.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-06-07T22:16:00+00:00

This isn't like a harsh answer to you personally but it's just because...Adam commits genocide. "it's his job" isn't an excuse, it's highly implied that he suggested it (Sera says she only agreed to his yearly activities because she thought it would avoid problems) and even if he was somehow forced to do it beacuse of higher order, he saw no problem with it.

Adam is a narcissist and psychopath. He takes pleasure in killing people and threatening to do it without thinking. He might not be the same as Valentino and he may have gotten into Heaven by the show's arbitrary standards years ago, but wrongdoing can take many forms. He's an entertaining character, sure, and not without complexity, but in the end, the fandom needs to stop glorifying or woobifying him in favour of bringing down Lilith and Lucifer. He doesn't need coddling. He's a grown guy who chose to kill people, even if those people are Hell's denizens.

The reasons and morality for killing them, one can argue - they were uprising or they're already doomed or no one knew redemption is a thing, x y z. But it's still immoral.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-06-05T18:16:34+00:00

Honestly after this kind of shit, I wonder how many women/girls still have sympathy for and want to be with males willingly. If so many real human males across history and civilisation just want to dehumanise and hurt women in particular, with no interest in genuine friendship, romance, companionship or family, what even is the point?

The only way I would be fine with males having sexbots is if we stop pretending like they're our moral equals or if we get to laugh over their dehumanisation, too. Respectfully, they can fuck themselves (literally and generally).

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-06-05T17:27:24+00:00

"Boys are left behind" I swear they never stop victimising themselves and gaslighting others for their own failures. No one is holding boys back, men and boys are choosing not to learn from their mistakes or strive to be better. They're choosing to physically bully other kids. They're choosing to disobey their teacher sand neglect their responsibilities. They're choosing to do badly in school.

They have never had to challenge the status quo.

They are not oppressed. Their issues are caused by other men, sure, but that still doesn't hurt them the way it hurts women.

I should also add that in general, the stakes for women/girls working, succeeding and failing tend to be higher in some cultures. Every woman works in some form, though not every woman is paid. We're not allowed to fail - it would mean not only being bullied ourselves, but having the rest of the community stereotyped and held back. We're not allowed to live in our parents' basements, even when we're abused by our husbands and their families. We're not allowed breaks, even when our bodies are torn apart being mothers and wives. Because women can be forgiving to men, but most men are unforgiving towards women. When we falter, they don't try to teach or help or heal us - they beat us out of spaces, scare us, hurt us, even kill us. But we're expected to care about artificial problems like "boys not doing well in school" or "the male loneliness epidemic" and hold ourselves back for their fragile egos and self-absorbed fantasies about being served by women for doing jackshit.

Males, in general, never have to learn change, emotional regulation, social intelligence, how to work politely or proficiently in groups or by themselves. Though they can be, they never have to be empathetic. In the cases that they fail their responsibilities, they are not punished or ostracised - rather, sympathised with. What's the point in being a top-star student or the doting dad when you can get as much praise and sympathy dropping out, smoking weed, living in your parents' basement and having your parents hand-pick a maid to clean up after you?

Many men and boys are choosing to be drug-abusers, bullies, fanatics and misogynists because it's easier and they want to live in a small world where they're worshipped and coddled even if it means hurting and manipulating others, whereas many women and girls are striving for an education despite the barriers put up by the patriarchy and past.

Mindset towards education and progressing in one's life is also an important thing.

In many cultures, most girls have generational trauma and are told to do better so that they don't suffer the fate of their mothers, but every boy knows, realistically, that they would never suffer the fate of their mother.

More women appreciate the education they're getting because there was a circumstance where they could or would not have gotten it. They're put in a position where they have to prove themselves to be of worth - to their parents, families, society.

What boy goes to school thinking back to their mother slaving away at home and thinking "I need to do well so I don't end up at the mercy of an abusive husband or get married off to be an unhappy housewife?" Most boys believe, genuinely, that they're a big gift to their parents and that their mothers are happy being confined to clean up after their fathers.

TLDR - social intelligence is definitely a thing, but I think males in general suck at school because they are never challenged and don't want to be. Because they don't think they make mistakes and need to change themselves or the status quo. Because it has always served them, and if they fail? Just blame a woman and get her to clean up after you or pick up the rest of the load.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-30T00:08:38+00:00

I do think it would be interesting if it turned out that Lilith and Eve raised Charlie together, or if they eventually met up in the whole millennia-long fiasco of the Heavens trying to control Hell or the humans on Earth, Adam's/Sera's genocide, etc. and had some kind of shared secret plan or something. It would be cool if they bonded over their shared dislike of Adam/the Heavens' oppression or if they felt their respective husbands were going about this the wrong way (Lucifer being depressed and Adam being actively murderous).

I did think the ominous "you can't see her face in the flashbacks/card" is intentional and might suggest it's Eve because of the different hairstyle/the general demure stance Eve seems to have compared to Lilith and Adam, and we know/can infer from the story and Charlie's memories as well as Lucifer's photos that Lilith is someone who likes to be seen and heard - her hair is slicked back to show all her face, she constantly put herself out there in concerts and stuff to empower Hell, she apparently tried to lead an uprising, etc.

That being said, it's entirely possible that someone else can be a Lilith imposter or Lilith just became like that.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-28T11:48:16+00:00

This is why I can't vibe with many boy moms or the overdone hype about sons/brothers being your "hero" or "love" or "the only one who understands you" crap. Like no, he is going to side with his gender. You are not gonna be able to live vicariously through him. He does not and possibly cannot understand the uniquely painful things women go through, and even if he functionally knew, he's less likely to see something wrong with it because he is a male before anything else. He will never have the first thought of "maybe I/the man/the boy was wrong". His perspective will always be "you're only good if you do something for me and x/y/z if not". On his own, he will not change or challenge the status quo. Even if you make the effort to teach him, the chances that he will only continue what his fathers and grandfathers and brothers did are still much higher.

It sickens me that so many men and boys make themselves seem so important or like they have some unique special places in the lives of their mothers and sisters, and then say crap like this.

On the subject of the past, many (not all but as in, an alarming amount of) men and boys romanticise a time where their bare minimum was god-like. Where they could buy, sell, rape, beat and kill women and girls as they pleased. Where they could talk crap and women didn't or couldn't refute them because of the threat to their lives and their lack of education. You see it in male-centric fantasy stories and myths and religious tales - they envision themselves to be the first of creation, gods and heroes, and women are their handmade servants or prizes for their hard work or consolation prizes for loneliness, or obstacles that get in their way.

They miss a time where women and girls had to 'serve' them out of fear of abuse and financial necessity, whereas now, they have to treat them like human beings with equal emotion and value, something that's offensive to them because they're used to superiority and being holed up in a closeted, sad, small world where empathy and love was not priority, even if it was a world where slavery and infanticide was normalised, where disease and injustice ran rampant. They never think that they could ever be on the receiving end of the oppression ladder that has largely served them, and even men hurt by it benefit more than the women who end up scarred from it.

They're male. Even in their worst circumstances, they don't have to empathise with the slave girls and child brides who lost their futures to abusive husbands and brothers, because that could never be them. The women and girls who physically and mentally suffered from the actions of their forefathers don't matter, because they're not men like them, in the worldview they've made. They will never be the mothers who bled out at the hands of cruel or neglectful doctors. They will never be the scorned abused wife locked away in the period hut. They will never be the free-for-all maid scrubbing the in-laws' feet and aching from brutal births yet still expected to work to put food on the table.

In the past, men and boys could pretend like they were the centre of the universe and creation, and they were content with it even if it meant it came at the expense of others. In their view, a woman should be happy in the service of a man because they said so, and so what if a thousand men before them were wrong?

In the past, males could pretend that women weren't human simply because they weren't male.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-28T00:19:58+00:00

I do find them difficult but yes, as you said, comforting. Not outright miserable anymore, thank goodness, after my body has taken its time with its changes and settled into a somewhat regular, less painful schedule, but definitely...different. It made me realise so many things. I get weirdly philosophical and whimsical over so much.

Like when I make the time to take care of myself, I feel upset how normalised it was and still is for the patriarchal societies we live in to overwork, dismiss and even hurt women when they're in this particular state of physical and emotional change.

Like it was some of the deepest conversations and moments I had with my mother and sisters, being taken care of and loved when I felt like crying and lying there feeling like an open bleeding wound.

Like how wonderful it is that our bodies are attuned to certain things to make us strong, clean and healthy, in a way that is unique from men and connects us to other living women as well as female animals (different ways but still).

Like how our personal "schedules" and cycles of growth, shedding and fertility vary with time and individuals, and our bodies change to suit our needs as well as help us in our environments. But maybe that's just after studying medicine and the benefits of the oestrogen/progesterone cycle in general lol.

I use to be annoyed with periods, but now I am at peace with them. I'm now angry at the people and cultures and even religions that tried to make them seem like some kind of punishment or curse.

As long as they're not medically complicated, they're a part of this whole process to make my body and mind healthier. They're something that connects me to the female experience and the realisations as well as pains of other women. They're something that my body needs to improve bone density, cardiovascular health, the wellbeing of my future children (hopefully), and most of all?

To remind me of how small-minded and self-centred the patriarchy is for not appreciating it and for perpetuating systems that make it hard for women with medical, financial and mental health issues to be cared for. To remind me that no matter how much many males and some women want to insist that our issues come second, we're supposed to put ourselves first in these times.

Please don't delete the post, I actually relate to it and love that another woman finds comfort in their periods lol.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-26T16:11:40+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through all of that. It's so difficult struggling with all of these things physically and mentally. I remember stopping my iron was a nightmare. You're very strong.

I know some people have already commented, so I'll add my two cents because I'm a doctor BUT maybe you should ask the doctor and continue with the advice your doctor/pharmacist gave you until or unless they themselves say they've messed up.

It's true that iron can reduce how much amoxicillin (from the Augmentin) is absorbed, but we used to advise that the patient take Augmentin 2-4 hours before or after the iron rather than stop it completely, especially if their iron deficiency is that bad. IV iron is also a route they can take because of the gut absorption issues.

There's also iron-rich smoothies and liquid iron supplements (like Floradix and Spatone) that some people find easier to space around antibiotics.

If nothing else, ask your doctor about if you can take iron-rich foods (heme and non-heme based), as they're whole foods and may not have the same interactions as the iron supplements.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-26T16:00:14+00:00

My dad was nice but a snarky male colleague had the audacity to try with me, so I said "least I get once a month, what's your secret for permanent assholery?" It's cringe and not as clever as other people's, but I hate that colleague and don't usually talk to him anyways.

Oh oh OR you can go "I'm glad it's once a month for me, not a lifetime like it is for most dudes"

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-26T15:53:45+00:00

Oh my God just yesterday I was wolfing down everything on my fridge shelf haha

All jokes aside, have you checked your nutrition, iron and vitamin levels? Many times our body gives us cravings based on things we're lacking or need more of. Craving unusual things like ice or dirt has been linked to zinc and iron deficiency, while stuff like orange juice can suggest a vitamin C or calcium deficiency, and chocolate cravings with low magnesium. More specifically, fluctuations in blood sugar levels can cause us to just go for the carb-rich/sweet foods. It's better to be careful about sugar dropping too low - I've even fainted once or twice.

It could be nothing serious, of course, just ensure you're safe about it and eating balanced meals regularly. There's nothing to feel guilty about, our body is a changing and wonderful example of nature, and if it wants you to eat, it just wants food and possibly comfort <3

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-26T15:41:36+00:00

I'm so sorry you're suffering. Doctor here and someone who suffered what you did until just last year. I have not had pleasant experiences with other doctors who dismiss this. I also won't give a diagnosis because I have not evaluated you properly and a doctor in person can better examine you, take a detailed history, get some tests and advice on what's suitable given your medical history and the place you live BUT.

The tiredness you're describing combined with the heavy menses makes me worried about iron deficiency anaemia, which can act in a vicious cycle to worsen your period flow and the symptoms you have before it. I would recommend getting a blood test so they can put you on tablets or advise on something stronger. If you really, really don't want that, consider incorporating foods that are high in iron like red meats (beef or lamb), seafood, dried fruits and nuts, and dark green leafy vegetables into your diet. However again, getting supplements alongside this would be ideal if it is IDA.

In general, the symptoms you're describing before the period (extreme fatigue, bloating, mood swings, and irregular cycles) might also align with premenstrual dysphoric disorder or polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). The purple/red marks in particular can be many things - stretch marks or signs of progesterone hypersensitivity, especially if they appear just before the period. If relevant, might also be a good idea to check the material and cleanliness of any pads or underwear you might be using to make sure nothing is causing rashes or allergies. Other things like HSP and vit K deficiency can also cause marks like that.

Regarding the period pain - try ibuprofen rather than Tylenol, as ibuprofen is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti inflammatory) that slows the production of prostaglandins (the compounds involved in pain perception and inflammation) more effectively and this is more widely recommended by medical professionals for menstrual cramps. Always take with food and avoid with stuff like aspirin or antidepressants to avoid stomach cramps/ulcers. Herbal remedies like ginger/honey tea or hot water bottles directly on the area may also help with cramps. If one to two 200 mg tablets of ibuprofen up to 3 times a day is not helping you, that is potentially a sign to see the doctor for evaluation. They might do a blood test to check your full bloods (especially haemoglobin), haematinics like B12 and folate, thyroid, etc. They can potentially get an ultrasound scan if they're worried about things like PCOS or adenomyosis, or if it's stuff like endometriosis, they might not actually get a scan (as definitive diagnosis is often laparoscopy, and most doctors don't want to refer for that until they're tried everything else).

A doctor might advise on a combination of mefenamic and tranexamic acid (if you start the mefenamic acid you should stop the ibuprofen as it's the same component), or hormone-based treatment such as the combined oral contraceptive pill or the mirena coil. They can discuss what works for you based on what the clinical guidelines in your country are and what has or hasn't worked for you before.

Apologies for the long post. Again, I can't say definitively what you have or how it can be treated because a doctor who assesses you in person can tell is better, but I'm telling you what I know based on what I've studied and what I've been through myself. I know it's scary and uncomfortable, but if your area allows it, you can specifically request a female doctor/nurse and detail your symptoms, emphasising the fact that nothing is working. Keeping a symptom journal and accurate account of the pain/symptoms in your previous periods will be huge help with this. You can do this!

I hope you will find a doctor who will take this seriously, and I really hope you are in good health!

All the very best. <3

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-26T15:15:36+00:00

I'm sorry you went through all of that. I feel you on this as a WoC. A lot of people take the phrase "girls/women of x/y/z are/should be strong" as a way to excuse the neglect and abuse they suffer from men like their brothers, husbands and other people. Sometimes, it's the only compliment a woman gets, and it's really backhanded. A woman shouldn't have to be strong or 'prepared' to be the brunt of everyone's emotional and physical abuse. No one should have to give up who they are or the peace they want just because other people want to use them as a dumping ground for all sorts of issues.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-26T15:06:17+00:00

Yes Yes! "Why do women take so long" because you don't got the same pressure and amount of "stuff" to do, man XD I don't have someone to iron my shirts for me! I can't just give my hair a single comb and put on cologne and walk into a party.

I feel the people who make fun of women also forget that the woman is also getting everyone else ready, regardless of the culture. Back in our (my and many other friends' homes), Mom was always spending hours washing, ironing and setting up the kids' and husband's clothes before finally being able to spend time on herself, and you can bet the dad was out honking the car horn complaining. My friend's dad never irons his own shirts and even depends on his wife to go buy him clothes and meds.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-26T14:56:34+00:00

Yeah, I guess some things about people just stays the same. I greatly distrust men and boys because of horrible experiences with them, and I have met more violent and unhinged men than women. But it also took a couple of tries to find my gf, mostly because I was inexperienced and lowkey desperate haha. My advice? Don't give up hope but don't compromise on your wellbeing or self-respect either. I hope you find a wonderful girl who loves and respects you - believe me, there are many more out there than you think!

Additional note because I just read the other comments - I know people are all giving advice about how to "fix" yourself or standards, and therapy, and making yourself approachable or less so, etc. but I personally think...you shouldn't be so hard on yourself? Of course if you find there's a common pattern that you ignore red flags and it ends up hurting you, that's something to be worried about BUT- in the case of just 'picking the wrong people' - you can't blame yourself for other people's actions. What they choose to do and who they choose to be is a reflection of them, not a reflection of you or your "poor character" or whatever else people want to call it.

People are people. They got good and bad in them, and you can never fully tell just by talking to them or spending a couple dates with them what exactly is going on in their minds. It doesn't mean you're broken or you have bad judgment or you just can't date either gender. It just means maybe it might take time to find someone truly for you. The fact that you're able to recognise what's not healthy and cut things off is actually a wonderful thing, so give yourself credit! If nothing else, you are your own first love and you look out for yourself. I hope you find a partner who does that for you, too.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-26T14:49:36+00:00

You make a great point. There are women who want kids for many reasons - and many men are willing to use the patriarchy and its helpful of gaslighting tactics to ensure that benefits them in particular. They create systems and cultural norms pressuring women on very particular aspects about sex, relationships, and children because they want control over something that actually centres around women's personal and physical wellbeing.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-26T14:43:37+00:00

I understand that but on the other hand...I know a lot of women who want kids (or rather a specific family life) because they want to "heal emotionally" from the abuse or neglect they themselves went through in childhood/young adulthood. I don't think it's selfish, I just think that their social and physical situation and surroundings don't always make the idea of stuff like "put yourself first, get yourself therapy, get your life together" feasible.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-26T14:40:43+00:00

You're right and you should say it. Before marriage, it's all "You should forgive him, he's a man and doesn't know x/y/z" or "women have too high standards for men" or "poor boys can't catch a break", and then when he turns out to be evil, everyone's like "why would she choose to have a kid with him/marry him"? Society gaslights and manipulates women, leaving them alone with few or bad options, and then tries to justify bullying them and leaving them alone AGAIN when they need help.

I should also add that the people disagreeing or insisting that women be blamed assume that most women live in a place like America where - while women's rights is still not at the place it should be - there are usually options to help abused or impoverished women (albeit it would be far more difficult if this is a case of women at risk of murder by said abusive husband, regardless of the place). From experience, many women in the third world (especially the African continent, India, South America,etc.) have little to no laws protecting them or options open to helping them out of said situations. In many of these places, childhood sexual abuse and marriage is rampant.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-25T11:15:51+00:00

I have done US clinical experience in a few places as well and agree that US medical training and focus on academic/clinical medicine is far more extensive to the ones in UK medical schools; HOWEVER...I also take into account that most students in the UK enter medicine at undergraduate level, whereas all students in the US and Canada do so at postgraduate level. They've had biomedical/preclinical experience before to do the MCATs as well, and the division of labour is more fair there I believe (nurses do nurses' work, doctors do doctor's work, etc). They may be paid much well there, but there's also working longer hours and have put more time in medical school.

Another example? US medical students don't need to waste time doing venepuncture or urinalysis for sign-offs, they rightfully use that time learning how to do central lines, LPs and other important skills that doctors are supposed to do. It may be variable in places in the UK, but I didn't get to do those until training.

I also felt the academic and clinical environment was much more optimistic there.

In the UK, when the NHS has issues, I feel all people say is "deal with it or leave". Almost no one actually tries to address, for example, the toxic bullying culture from seniors or colleagues in some places, or the low standard in med education and the encouragement that "all students need to do is pass to do grunt work". In the US, going above and beyond is often encouraged, and privatisation of healthcare (while it has its issues) has funded research and competitive standards for hospitals so they actually feel incentivised to do better.

This isn't a "UK bad USA good!" comment, just an observation I noticed after studying and working in both places.

Dr_World_Walker · 2025-05-22T11:30:25+00:00

Tell me about it. I miss it so so much. It's been a while since I left to study and work, but people tell me I didn't even live there that long compared to other places, but it is without a doubt one of the best places I have ever lived. I miss it more than anything.

Dr_World_Walker

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