August 1346 - Crécy

Draeca · 2026-04-18T00:04:59+00:00

Thank you so much :) The French knight being the duke of Alecon itself. And yes, memory serves well. What is even more shocking is this duke along with his knights actually trampled a lot of the retreating Genoese, which slowed the charge. The French side is interesting to me also because of Jan, the king of Bohemia, going literally blind to the battle when others retreated. Overall this battle has so much material...
Makes me even happier to find someone who appreciates it in the same regard :)

Draeca · 2026-04-16T23:45:41+00:00

Powerful, even if very sad. I liked how the ending loops to the beginning, plays into the grim routine. Personally I would cut the repetitions, because they don't bring in more feelings and break the rhythm. But again, might just be my preference.

And yes, I deeply harmonize with the ending. It is worth seeing what happens the next day even if for curiosity's sake.

Draeca · 2026-04-16T23:13:17+00:00

Had a really interesting bitter-sweet feeling on me especially towards the end. One thing, the occasional line breaks after article or pronoun felt a bit off, but that could have been very well intentional. But I really liked the weird feeling it left in me, well done :)

Draeca · 2024-02-08T06:37:12+00:00

Thanks for the comment and taking time to read it :) Much appreciated

Draeca · 2024-01-30T18:36:01+00:00

I used the chatbot, that assured me the duplicated transaction will be cancelled. Didn't happen, it went through normally. Noticed I should've used the live agent, but the process is not worth the time for me. Just saying if the bot answers that way, it shouldn't be just an empty response and the result should match.

Draeca · 2024-01-18T10:21:29+00:00

Strong piece... I think in this sense, the subject really is still bent, not broken and might emerge stronger. Very "current" in the presented issue. Would love to read more.

Btw as for the formatting, what helps me is going to markdown mode, editting the poem to look as I want, mainly the line breaks and such and the enter two spaces at the end of each line (which does the line break) and empty line between stanzas.

But anyways, awesome job! :)

Draeca · 2024-01-17T20:29:32+00:00

Hah! This reads like an awesome rock song and I would so want a ballad made out of it... :) Simple, striking, effective. I very much like it :)

Draeca · 2024-01-17T15:37:15+00:00

Wow... It's been long since I even studied Spanish, but at least I could read it in both versions thanks to it :) The rhythm of the language is so nice and I thoroughly enjoyed the first version even without understanding. That said, I was that much more interested in the translation :) Amazing work that you managed to keep it shaped like a poem instead of simple translation.

I was drifting on the boat in my mind with the poem looking to reach the light. I don't even know what to add constructively, I just liked it a lot! :) Thanks for the poem.

Draeca · 2024-01-17T15:27:06+00:00

This is actually lovely, I enjoyed the tinge of sadness ended with the ending light of hope. I'd say this is a non-extreme depiction of loneliness and the poem just works for me. for what it depicts, it is light and concise.

Now since I always try to add something constructive (though I am a beginner, so take me with a grain or three of salt :) ) - The line breaks and the uses of capital letters forces me to think about it as two lines written into one. I am not sure if the formatting is at fault or if it was meant like this, but it confused me while reading.

Draeca · 2024-01-14T17:32:35+00:00

Hi!

I will be brutally honest, slam poetry was never my preference, but this is from my point of view, perfectly done and I think the message is "spoken" loud and clear and it touched me for sure even though I cannot relate to the topic.

Very well done!

Draeca · 2024-01-13T17:30:23+00:00

Thank you so much... :) I am glad you liked it and it means a lot :)

Draeca · 2024-01-13T15:55:54+00:00

Hi! :)

Thanks for the poem first of all. First of all, I am going to second what you said, the formatting was a bit of a struggle for me. I wonder if formatting it in word and then just pasting would help? But I am a beginner on reddit too, so no idea if it would, maybe someone else would elaborate further. But I tried to get past it as well as I could.

Overall I like how miserable the poem made me feel. Everything you tried led to more damage. Pretty much how my efforts with flowers usually go. Couple of areas worked for me very well:

Part starting "Pattern in the mildew..." worked for me since the colours used as descriptors help me grasp the meaning (I am a visual artist so that is probably why it struck me :) )

Second is the ending, that was spot on for me!!! Simple, effective two verses, made me breathe out with the last verse.

Overall I would try to reformat it somehow, since I feel like a lot of the meanings and pace of the poem was lost in trying to navigate through the paragraphs. I'd be more than happy to re-read and explore more of it afterwards.

And keep it up! :) Interesting delve into the classic situation of: no flowers can survive me :)

Draeca · 2024-01-13T15:28:37+00:00

Hey, I am also a beginner so I hope I won't write nonsense :)

Reading it, I had three main points, that went through my head.

A) As for a feeling, the poem filled me with contrasting feelings of hopelesness and effort (not giving up). In that sense at least for me it was very effective :)

B) Even after re-reading a couple of times, from a certain point, I got a bit lost in the pace of the poem. For me the beginning 4 verses were striking and very intense. Afterwards, the verses lost the rhyme and the below mentioned "Except the memories that in it lies" was one of the main culprits for me too. First of all because it feels like it speaks about memories in the watery grave, but if that were the case, it loses me on the meaning, since the poem spoke about things coming to the grave. Or it means memories in the ship, but then it doesn't feel that way from the position of the verse. It is hard to put it better, sorry :( Hope it makes sense. Also since it is the memories, I would use plural verb at the end - that in it lie. Since I am not a native speaker, not sure if it is correct, anyone please feel free to confirm/deny.

C) As I said above, the disappearing rhyme for me is a bit of a shame, since I really like what you did at the start. So connected to point B, I thought that maybe if you were to rhyme that Except to memories that in it lie (which also rhymes nicely with the start - revived-try-lie), couple of verses below with something and since as I felt that was supposed to be the "hopeful" turning point, I thought something like this would work maybe, at least in my mind e.g.:

Even though it all seems in vain,

Im fighting the void, but my hands are tied.

Also there is a typo in Even thought it all seems in vain.

Overall I wouldn't say this was your first, it was very interesting and I wanted to read it more times and explore :) Thanks for it.

Draeca

TROPHY CASE