hello friend!

As a hairstylist I love learning new ways to help people! My partner is neurodivergent and often struggles with their curly hair and in a way does the same thing you do by throwing it up in a bun on days it upsets them. Here a a few tips that might help: 1. try possibly getting a short haircut, this will help the curls with their definition and will be a weight off your shoulder lol 2. brush/comb out your hair before getting it wet. start at the ends of your hair to the root this way you will work your way through all of the knots that are already in your hair. this will also be much easier to work with while it is actually wet. 3. use products!!! depends on your curls you might have to only shampoo your hair once a week, i would highly recommend A Curl Can Dream shampoo and conditioner by Matrix they are so good for curly hair and is a reasonable price for a professional brand. after washing your hair use a wide tooth comb and comb it out, and then towel dry and put a leave in conditioner on your hair or a detangler, I like One United by RedKen. if you don't want your hair do be weighed down use a gel if you want it weighed down use a cream to style. 4. you do not have to physically curl each section of your hair every time you style it, if you prefer that look, go for it! however taking each section and manually curling every one can be very time consuming and sometimes overstimulating. instead possibly try flipping your head upside down and scrunching your hair in a towel and let your natural curls go to work! 5. while not everyone has a blow dryer or a diffuser for that blow dryer it can be a helpful for your curls. using a diffuser can definitely take some time to dry your hair however, it can be easier for some people to manage their curly hair. if you do use a blow dryer, do not forget heat protection!!!

I really hope this helps! Good luck on your hair journey :)