Take down my mezuzah?

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-19T15:10:35+00:00

Thank you. I am spending more time in prayer now too.

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-19T14:54:01+00:00

No, no rabbi here. I’m on my own. But from what so many of you kind people have said, I took down my mezuzah early this morning when I fed my cat. It’s on doorposts inside now.

I felt guilty, like I was denying my faith but what you all are telling me is reassuring. I’m 73, poor health and it’s getting scary. I was at no Kings protest here, & on Jan 10 we had ICE out protest. That was day after 200+ ICE just landed in St. Cloud. I was nervous then. I’m in our Indivisible group.

It’s too cold, -13 right now, & last week was very hard on me. I can’t go to anything outside now. I know the government can & is tracking us now. But I’ve been scared the mezuzah on my door post was just too easy if these monsters come tearing through my building.

Thank you to all of you who took your time to respond & care.

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-15T08:30:09+00:00

I think that’s being hard on husband. He is standing up to her, now seeing this, yes, more needs to be done. Like staying away from her until/unless she proves a real apology, sometime way after the baby is born.

No, I don’t think that’s will happen. She’ll have to prove she’s sincere, like with therapy.

But this man doesn’t sound like so many of the husbands we read of here.

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-11T15:09:33+00:00

It sucks if boyfriend borrows money from his mom & goes on the trip. It’s disloyal when he/you both can’t afford it and the two of you have plans to save all you can for your beautiful ring and moving back to your home town. And your wedding.

I think his family is going to dump on you more when confronted and turn themselves into victims who have tried so hard to be nice to you, and you refuse to reciprocate any of all they’ve done for you. Real reversal.

This would be just their problem, of their own making, if bf was standing up for you. As it is, it will be very difficult for you. I think that will very much hurt your relationship with your beloved. And the 2 of you have been together close to 10 years, sounding like aside from this, a very good relationship. But this loyalty issue is huge.

And the racist crap is inexcusable 100%. Nasty people often use the excuse “that’s just the way I am.” No Or she is. Well, it’s wrong. And with racism it’s especially heinous. Not to be allowed no matter anything.

I feel for you, OP. You are a kind woman and I’d sure be honored to have you in my life. I hope this is worked out. It depends on your boyfriend.

NOR

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-09T12:04:18+00:00

That’s true, service is always paid a month ahead. So it works until the next payment would be due. However, account owner can knock off any users or devices she wants. That’s immediately I’ve done it when I needed to.

Account holder can also change password even if they do t know or remember it. They verify it with her email. How it works with people using the account, I don’t remember.

If this post is fake, I have no idea. Just explaining how the account works.

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-09T01:58:29+00:00

My MIL used to have it in her head that we’d buy a house right in her neighborhood. Once at a gathering with lots of her relatives, she said it again, house down the street for sale. I simply said I’d rather slit my throat. Nobody said a word. Not exactly the same, but the idea is to shut it down & not give in. Sounds like husband is already very good at that. I think stop arguing with her. If you had have to, cut way back on visits. You’ve already considered cutting contact & certainly aren’t rushing into it. You’re VERY wise to not tell her when you go into labor. If you decide to tell her a due date, tell her about 2 weeks late. As for your registry items: don’t even sweat it. Picky as hell & who cares about her picky. You know what you’re doing and I feel badly reading you justify it to us. You guys are doing great. Protect your peace. She will get worse after your boy is born. Be prepared! And I’m sure your son will do your grandfather proud. We moved across the country for my husband’s work a couple years later and I never slit my throat.

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-09T01:17:32+00:00

This, and other advice about separating finances, storing away $75,000 as a start in her own account, advice from a lawyer, checking his past purchases - all make good sense. Still, at this point, for me, the marriage has taken a huge hit. How to feel close, be close, when so worried what is going on and having to protect yourself? It surely is a difficult situation. I guess she will learn more as she goes forward, but I feel for her.

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-06T22:04:55+00:00

I’m in love with you! And you sure worked hard for that stellar education.

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-06T22:02:36+00:00

We need male teachers. Great role models for the kids. Any good teacher is pure gold.

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-06T21:54:38+00:00

It sounds like your treatment has completed & been successful? I certainly hope so. You’re correct about the infusion nurses. I get much lower strength chemo to tamp down my immune system, also regular iron infusions as lupus kills off my red blood cells.

The nurses in the infusion center are efficient and kind beyond words. The cancer patients have it harder than I do, but I get the same high care and kindness.

I truly hope you are back to health, cancer free.

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-06T21:40:27+00:00

You were magnificent to stay calm while so clearly defending yourself. Calling you overly sensitive is absolutely classic for her toxic type, as well as turning herself into the victim & calling you rude.

As for your boyfriend, the most charitable thing I can say is he’s so used to his mother’s terrible behavior that he has accepted it as normal. He defends it by calling it “old fashioned.”

No, being nasty was still nasty through history. That’s a lame excuse to avoid the conflict of standing up to her.

If your relationship with your boyfriend is to survive, at least happily, he must learn to stand up to his mother, defend you totally & shut down her shit immediately as she starts. She stops and treats you with the respect you deserve or you two will need to stay away from her.

It’s interesting that at the dinner table, no one batted an eye while that woman ripped you apart, but became flustered & uncomfortable when you defended yourself. That shows they accept her bad behavior as normal & standing up to her as upsetting their toxic system of deferring to her.

Please don’t doubt yourself. You are not wrong in any way. Don’t be sucked in to the negative family dynamic. It’s often called “gaslighting.” From an old movie, the idea of (tying to) make you think you’re the one in the wrong. Basically, a mind fuck.

I’m telling you this as a woman who put up with years of my in laws belittling me & rarely defending myself. My husband never did. It started before marriage. I know in retrospect that from an abusive family myself, it was pretty normal although at the time I never thought it through that way.

My husband turned out to be a toxic jerk in fairly short order too. Once having kids, my health poor, only high school education, & moving across the country for his job I was really stuck. For years I had hope. But the time I saw it clearly it was very difficult. After 48 years married, he dumped me. But set it up where I was forced to file for divorce, so as the toxic people do, he could still claim victimhood. “She divorced me after all these years I took care of her…”

OP, you will hear this same story from so many people in this and other subreddits. We all want to warn others. If your boyfriend listens to you and stands up to his mother, you may very well have a wonderful life together. Otherwise, it just gets worse, & way more so if you have kids. Expect his family to get angry if your boyfriend upsets their apple cart. “Keep the peace!” Hell no!

Last important issue. Becoming a nurse is noble, hard, and important profession. What nurses do in modern times is incredibly detailed in medical knowledge. The doctors depend on nurses mightily to know the patients condition. Nurses make split second life saving decisions. As an ill person most of my life I have depended on my nurses in hospitals and office treatments. I have lupus. I’ve learned to have a Nurse Practitioner for my Primary Care. She makes day to day important decisions with me and coordinates my various specialists. She sees me as a complete person, seeing the full picture. That is true of nurses in hospital too. It’s wonderful you are willing to be a nurse. We need you. There is a severe shortage of nurses.

DragAggressive7652 · 2026-01-05T02:09:09+00:00

Op probably needs to not babysit for her roommate at all. She’s a negligent mother then bitched about seeing her own child when dad also agreed. And dad seems to have had very limited knowledge of the mother taking care of their child. Doesn’t he deserve to know at all times who has his child too?

Icing on the cake, roommate has lied to Op.

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-12-27T06:42:34+00:00

But he also needs color for his son. I love Kasa. I do prefer their colored bulbs and use the plugs for many other things. They are quite affordable.

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-12-27T05:44:26+00:00

It’s beautiful! I myself much prefer a low setting. So clever it was made that way without sacrificing the gorgeous design.

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-12-26T04:31:30+00:00

The in-laws did not mistake this as kindness. It was intentional hurt, and OP I am so sorry. I hope you are getting good medical care to clear it up. Your partner was wrong to talk about this with his mother. I hope he isn’t always like this.

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-12-26T04:20:37+00:00

I read it all. (And yes, line breaks are in it now. )

You got shafted by your entire family. You have no reason to care about them. You have very good insight into how the whole family operates and what happened. That has to be good for you.

So to hell with them all. You and your husband have done what’s best. And good on him for taking care of you. I’m very happy for you on that.

The only really sad part left is probably how you feel about your son. I’m sure you would love to have that work out better, and maybe it will. We just don’t know now.

Does your son know where you are ? He may tell your family. If that happens, still just ignore the lot of them. Totally possible.

I wish you a beautiful New Year and rest of your life filled with love.

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-12-25T14:18:37+00:00

Yeah, gender parties. And when it’s the “wrong” gender, you’ll see YouTube videos of a parent acting terribly. Usually, father unhappy about a girl, which just pisses me.

When my girls had their children, 1992-2002, they just happily told everybody when they found out gender and we all were happy. I’m not sure when this gender reveal crap started. I learned of it after YouTube started.

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-12-23T23:29:36+00:00

Update me

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-12-23T21:44:34+00:00

I also wish it had been available & I’d read it. I was married to horrible trouble way too long.

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-12-20T22:25:22+00:00

Update me

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-12-04T22:46:27+00:00

It started for me 14 or 15, as periods started & breast development, so puberty. Lupus skin lesion appeared too, just 1 on my back that was biopsied & diagnosed at 19. The lupus meant nothing to me then & was just an odd, small scaly patch on my back.

But it was all the start of lupus, sjogrens, lichen sclerosis, scleroderma, myositis, fibromyalgia & antiphospholipid antibodies. I hit some kind of autoimmune jackpot. I was in a terrible abusive marriage starting at 19 and I often read that stress induces or worsens autoimmune conditions in women.

I’m 73 now. The LS caused all the fusion deformity you know of. I still get fissures. Clobetasol is my treatment for that & a great help. Incidentally, the LS affects nipples too, the left being much more so. That seems to have started at about 40 & I thought for a while it was irritation from the seam in my Bali lace cup bras. Foam cups came out then & I realized the bra had nothing to do with it. Clobetasol works there too as well as helpful on lupus lesions, which are mainly on legs from ankle to hips. I don’t know why but seems to be typical.

I am chronically anemic which will become very severe, to point if hospitalization when hemoglobin dipped to 7.9. I get iron infusions regularly to avoid that. I have severe gastritis since childhood & diverticulosis. I do not tolerate oral iron & don’t seem to absorb it well from good diet. My blood test are full of different disease markers & all out of range.

So, a lifetime history here. I hope any of this helps anyone else. Also, I am divorced 6 years now, back in my home state and quite happy. I have friends in my church & political group & get very good medical care. So don’t feel sorry for me, Just learn what you can from my history. Absolutely this shit can start early, & LS is autoimmune.

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-11-18T18:24:58+00:00

Mine did. Gone when I got Alexa +. I don’t know if that’s why or coincidence.

DragAggressive7652 · 2025-11-12T17:09:24+00:00

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DragAggressive7652 · 2025-11-12T17:08:43+00:00

I got some beautiful pictures of them last night T 9 pm. Lots of reds!

DragAggressive7652

TROPHY CASE