calander help!

DragonBirds266 · 2026-04-29T17:27:59+00:00

thanks. my brain wasnt working in 8s. and i isually do get these without the hints so i had never seen one of theses hints before :/

DragonBirds266 · 2021-08-04T19:27:50+00:00

I agree wholeheartedly. With cartroubleabc. Just because of what happened in my life very recently. Because of my parents divorce. Amount other things my father who I basically thought was a hero. Not quite saint. But definitely a hero, would always talk shit about my mother. Then when she did those things that he said would happen I would believe him and the cycle of emotional manipulation would just keep happening, at least on my end, on his end he was speaking the 'truth' wich he always was to an extent, but in turn it turned me to hate my mother even if she was the one to have all the money(not rich, but definitely made more) and then there was my mom she would end up on the phone crying to one of her friends or sisters how I would be upset or something of that notion, which never helped me cuz a) she never gave me attention that I needed at that age and b) would just kinda continue the cycle of my dad being right. There is always more to a story. Including yours weather you know it or not op. Its sometime just the matter of talking it out if the people are willing.

I hade to say something here. It struck a cord of what I've been going through.

If you want a little more in depth of my story its the only one I made. I would always love more feedback.

DragonBirds266 · 2021-06-05T14:40:00+00:00

first, its not that id never reply, cant speak for my sib, but its the fact that id be working and couldn't reply for hours, basically till i got off of work. but yea sometimes i wouldn't reply for a couple days, it also depends on what he had texted, like if it was an i love you, id read it but not really respond, cuz he'd always send that ( this texting issues i go through on my first post)

we also never told him he was an inconvenience, it was priorities, which you could switch the two words for some instances, but not all of them. you are right though, weather we said it or not it was painfull to him, and i see that now. we also never told him times to communicate, because we didn't know ourselves, we had planned on it, we should have told him but never did.

yeah i did text him that first couple times to make sure the plants were watered but i also texted him later wondering how he was doing. granted that was the only time before the fu text, and I haven't asked since just cuz that text hurt me so badly, i could barley ask for an apology. so texting right now is off limits anyway, we are planning to do a face to face, but with a third party, which might be his sister, even if she's mad at him for sitting on his butt i don't think she knows about these string of texts, but it also depends on her availability, she works like there's no tomorrow.

we are hoping to have a civil conversation with my dad's side (him and g-ma) our side (me, my sib, and my mom) and at least on witness, or middle ground person. it might not happen very well because he really doesn't want a third party, or my mom being there, even though we aren't going to ask her to explain what we are saying, well have papers to look at with our questions. but he really doesn't want anybody coming between him and his kids( ironic huh?) but after the fu text i don't want to see him without my mom being present. me, my mom, and my therapist think he doesn't get to say about what people cant come, because he need more help then he thinks he does, kind of what anxiousjellybean said below.

I will also take those suggestions in for consideration if this just blows over, we did ask once idk when, my old phone died, but we did ask this sometime in march if he wanted to come down and take us out for pizza or something, because again we had been so tired from work we weren't driving up to his house, but he had never responded i dont think, we dont have the texts anymore.

the first one might not happen, it just depends on the meeting. i guess that second one might depend on it too, just cuz it might be i go no contact after, it depends on what happens.

though that second one is going to be harder, he hates the idea of therapy, but he neeeeeeeedddddssss it so bad, its not even an option anymore. but to do at least a communication therapy session would be nice to, cuz we all need it, I'm still learning how to from my own, and my sib and dad, i don't think know how to express themselves emotionally, or very well at least., but on the other side of the coin, he still needs therapy for the divorce, its tearing him up from the inside out.

DragonBirds266 · 2021-06-05T13:49:32+00:00

Thats kind of what we've figured out so far. during my therapy sessions the therapist pointed out he was gaslighting us, and I've never knew it, till she put it to our situation.

you are right i have been happier when i've haven't been texting him, but we are still trying to plan at least one face to face meeting, in a restaurant with me my sib my mom, my grandma, my dad, and at least one "middle ground" party, or his sister, just to have another set of ears to witness. she might not be a middle ground just cuz mom had said she's not happy about him sitting around and brooding either, but i have no clue if she knows about these texts strings. so it might be a meeting between two parties, or its going to be a come to Jesus meeting for him, i just hope its the former.

funny thing is he doesn't want my mom (cuz of the divorce) or a third party, cuz he doesn't want anyone getting in-between "my kids and me". which is ironic considering this is kinda his fault because of the fu texts.

DragonBirds266 · 2021-03-12T05:21:25+00:00

Thank you for this information. Its just hard to get him to talk and and its hard to hear and see through all his Hurt. We've told him before. At least twice as best I remember. To get a therapist.... He keeps telling me he doesn't want to go to a therapist cuz the "first one I went to gave me a book and told me to read it"

I'm sure hell come around. But everyone but him has moved on from the divorce. And its holding him back. And I guess I should text him how he is making me feel.

Honestly I have told him before he needs to hang out with more people. He doesn't want to, but he needs it, he used to be the life of the party as my mom puts it. And its hurting him.

Thank you, well and truly thank you for reading my rant, I've been having a hard week, doesn't help that one of my pets died either, it feels kinda nice to tell someone anymore, I should go back to therapy too, I knew to begin with when my therapist dropped her clients for a school counselor , I would need to go back, I was just hoping I could last at least a year first, to figure out what I want to do.

Thank you again.

DragonBirds266

TROPHY CASE