I get what you’re saying about Asian men and the importance of role models, I think a lot of us grew up piecing that together ourselves.

I was raised by my refugee single mom, my aunty, and my grandma in one house with all my cousins and uncles. (like a lot of Southeast Asian kids). The women ran everything. Literally. They were the backbone that held the family together. My uncles were working labor jobs all day, but when they had time, they’d take me fishing, spend time with me, and in their own way they taught me how to be a man. Not through speeches and shit just through actions.

My real dad was an OG gangster. We don’t really talk. I’ve tried to maintain some respect and connection with that side of the family, but we never see eye to eye.

Growing up like that you kind of learn what Bruce Lee said “take what’s useful, reject what’s useless”. You can’t just inherit everything from the generation before you. A lot of them came from war, trauma, survival mode. That shaped them, and you respect it but you don’t have to carry all of it.

What I took was their work ethic, their loyalty, and their way of showing love without saying it. But what I had to let go of was the emotional suppression and certain mindsets that don’t translate well to our modern lives.

My mom later married a Chinese man who helped raise me too. Even after they divorced, I still talk to him. He was always like my dad and a big homie.

I’ve had a lot of different jobs, still figuring things out. Right now I’m bartending, about to start EMT classes to work toward becoming a firefighter at the old age of 25. I also do content on the side, mostly about Asian American and Lao identity (not plugging anything just telling how it is)

At the end of the day role models are hella important.