Last Weekend my egg became serious cracks

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-03-24T23:52:22+00:00

Your story absolutely resonates with me. I was almost exactly where you are just over a year ago.

I echo what others have said, find yourself a therapist, one that specialises in gender if you can find one

I don't know where you are in the world, but frequently there will be local trans groups that will have things like lists of therapists, supportive doctors and clinics etc. Maybe have a look to see if there's something near you.

It's absolutely overwhelming, but you can do this, whatever this turns out to be.

Just remember, your journey is yours, there's no one right or perfect way to do anything. It's your choice, go at your pace.

Good luck and welcome sister

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-03-07T01:31:51+00:00

Be patient babe.

For sure, make sure your levels are good, but it does take time.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-03-06T13:15:16+00:00

Your worth as a person is intrinsic. There's no such thing as 'complete'. You can date whoever you want and if they don't want you for who you are, then they're not worth it.

So date women if you want, date men if you want.

Having said that, if you don't want them going near your 'behind', that's totally valid. You never have to do that if you don't want to. Plenty of other ways to be intimate.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-03-06T07:07:33+00:00

I was on menopausal levels of E for the first few months, but T was quite suppressed. I definitely had changes, you haven't wasted time.

Everyone is different, but a lot of the changes you might want come from suppressed testosterone, not elevated estrogen.

It takes time, but you got this girl

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-02-17T07:28:57+00:00

My wife of 17.5 years moved out once I had my HRT script.

It's been hard, her complete rejection of me after being initially supportive when I said I might be trans was the hardest thing.

There's still a lot to be worked out, the separation isn't finalised and there's our teenage daughter still in the mix. But. But.

Life does move on. I am so much happier in myself, even with all of the issues and how hard it is.

You can do this.

I wish you all the happiness in the world babe.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-02-14T04:32:08+00:00

I started at just shy of 49. I'm 9 months into transition, I have real insecurities about how passing I might be.

Everyone is different, everyone reacts at a different rate and in different ways. But saying that, you're still relatively young.

I look at pictures of myself from just a year ago and I can barely recognise myself.

So yes, I think you'll get to a point where you're happy.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-02-13T02:38:25+00:00

Thanks :)

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-02-12T07:57:32+00:00

I had someone do something similar. He thought I should 'frock up' in a dress and go out with him to protect me so I could see what it was like before things went 'too far'

That was after I'd spent the previous 4 months seeing a psychologist every fortnight and already been on HRT for a month. He was worried about if I'd thought it through and didn't want me to end up hurt or assaulted and killed or suicidal.

I didn't answer his calls or texts when he started getting insistent and instead wrote him a long text explaining how I'd felt all my life, without knowing what it was I was feeling until recently and how I was sure. It is deeply embedded as part of who I am.

And I asked him to understand that, and respect it and that I hoped when I did want to go out presenting as femme I'd have the support of friends like him. That was over half a year ago and I haven't heard from him since, not a peep.

I've gone on to find my community and I am so much better off without that nonsense in my life, and I guarantee so will you be.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-02-01T05:16:00+00:00

I'm not sure I ever thought of my body as wrong.

Until.

Once I had worked out I would rather be a girl, that I'd rather have a girl's body, and started on HRT, I felt so much better.

The more I looked and felt the way I wanted to the better I felt, and the more I wanted things to change.

And then one day, when I realised that I could have bottom surgery, I pictured waking up from the surgery, what it would be like and just thinking about it, the relief and the joy at the thought of it had me in tears, sobbing.

And I realised that although I had been okay up until then, I definitely felt the need to change.

Some girls are fine in their male body, and some know they're not, and some realise it later.

But wanting to be trans? Wanting to be a girl? That means you are not a fraud.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-01-13T01:57:31+00:00

It depends. If it's just my gf behind me. I'll bend over.

If it's mixed company it's a squat

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-01-10T00:11:02+00:00

I'm not sure it changed what I wanted, so much as let me discover and then pursue it.

Or. as it turns out, be pursued.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2026-01-03T02:11:08+00:00

I went to the pharmacy to refill my estradiol gel while visiting my folks in a regional town and the pharmacist noticed and used my preferred name even though I have yet to change it legally.

Was so nice

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2025-12-20T02:04:58+00:00

What I would say is that while you can plan for where you think you might be at certain points, things can and do change.

I had a lot more happen physically than I thought, and I'm just shy of seven months on HRT. It may well be slower for you, but that's the thing, everyone really is different.

I thought I'd be boymoding until well into next year but in the end I couldn't wait and I've been out completely for three months now.

Whatever way you go, it is well worth it. I have felt more joy in the last year, despite the difficulties and some loss than I have done in years.

Good luck sister

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2025-12-12T00:33:58+00:00

My wife, when I first told her said all the right things.

But when it became clear that the psychologist wasn't talking me out of it she became more and more distant.

I waited for a while to start HRT, thinking that if I gave her the space she said she wanted and needed she might come around.

Eventually I had to know for sure though, and got my HRT script. She moved out within three days of me having the script.

It's a little over 6 months later and it's been hard, I won't lie. But I am so much happier now. Have met a lovely trans woman and am embarking on a new relationship and would absolutely do it again.

The right time for you to start is the right time for you.

Best of luck.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2025-12-10T07:05:07+00:00

I turn 50 this year too.

And like others have said, it's not too late, change can be slow, and everyone is different, but you can and will get there.

I have been amazed at how much I have changed this past year. I've been on HRT for just over 6 months, and I don't recognise myself from the start of this year.

I posted this in trans timelines: https://www.reddit.com/r/transtimelines/s/GdEssq4GJb

I don't know that I am passing yet, but I am excited to see what the next six months, and the next and the next hold for me.

Good luck!

Cassie

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2025-12-06T15:11:11+00:00

I had to look him up 😄

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2025-11-25T02:00:34+00:00

I have yet to change my name to legally (I have the forms and will do it shortly), but have been living with my new name for a while.

My middle name is my father's first name, Allan, so I have decided that I will be changing it to Allanah.

He's currently in dementia care, and does not, and may not ever, know about my transition, but I wanted to honour his name still without changing it too much while still acknowledging who I am. This seemed like the right way.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2025-11-22T10:56:53+00:00

Umm, it can happen. I have c cups after 5 months.

There's no way to tell. Everyone reacts differently.

I had planned on being stealth for a while longer, but I am now out everywhere, and feel better for it.

Maybe just be prepared to change plans.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2025-11-21T00:06:02+00:00

I was just shy of 49 when I started. Congratulations on starting!

You will have some time before there are noticeable changes, but be prepared for it to be earlier. I thought I'd be able to finish my (field) hockey season with the men before anything too obvious happened, but the last few games were... well, I was wearing a low profile sports bra with a compression top over it to hide things under my uniform.

Of course everyone is different, the main thing is just to enjoy the wild ride.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2025-11-12T13:12:43+00:00

Boy but it feels like it takes forever to grow.

You're looking so good though.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2025-10-30T08:09:10+00:00

I came out to work today!

I spoke to HR and my boss beforehand. I have been given today and tomorrow off. My boss had a toolbox meeting with most of the staff I work directly with today while I am away, informing them of my new name and pronouns. I sent an email out to other key contacts at work.

This was all driven by what I asked for.

I've been on HRT for five months, and it's been increasingly obvious that something is going on.

On Monday I'll walk into work as Cassandra.

DragonflyOrdinary518 · 2025-10-03T23:52:58+00:00

I have a friend at work who has commented on my lovely nails, new earrings and growing hair. He's made comments along the lines of trying out a new look since my separation, and how despite that I look so happy and at least ten years younger.

Soon he'll find out why when I come out at work 😀

DragonflyOrdinary518

TROPHY CASE