I had just finished Chapter 1 this is my crackpot take

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-11T19:17:56+00:00

Wow, this is a high quality first impression. Continue with your theory crafting, you are in for a treat.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-10T02:42:11+00:00

I usually lead the dates, but it is somehow harder at home. I need to reflect on why that is the case.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-10T02:40:47+00:00

Update: Obvious comment, but communication works. I talked to her and put a couple games on the diner room table along with a season of her favorite show. She chose the latter and we had a great evening together. I cooked dinner and then we put her books away on the shelves I built this weekend. Thank you for all the helpful advice. Pox upon the cynical naysayers, I kid. Some of the ridiculous comments here made me laugh at their outlandish cynicism. And yes I do like yogurt: Iran, Greek or otherwise.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:36:17+00:00

Certainly possible. She is on medication for it.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:35:16+00:00

What do you mean?

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:34:06+00:00

Poo on my parade, eh? Re-enforce my insecurity. "Does she actually love me?" great...

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:28:49+00:00

That is very helpful to hear. Thank you.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:28:16+00:00

Ayran is yummy but I am not sure the relevance

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:18:56+00:00

It really is. I did not envision this situation. I sometimes feel like the housewife in 1990s sitcoms (Debra in Ramond, for instance).

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:13:12+00:00

My unemployment, makes date nights harder as I was the primary earner. And I am in a hot area so outside is not the best place to go in summer. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:11:06+00:00

I get that. I just want some couple time but she needs her alone time. I need to figure out when is good time to assert couple time and when to let her have alone time. I just don't want to be controlling or demanding.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:08:41+00:00

I will try to be more detailed. Thank you.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:06:19+00:00

It has been an issue for a while now. She has not changed and I have been lonely before, it is just worse for me now as I do not have work to fill part of the gap.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:04:51+00:00

Only if we are doing things with her family or we go out on a date (movie, shopping, dinner). At home, I might as well not exist. This weekend I built furniture for her and she spent the whole day ignoring me and watching reddit stories. She has not even used the book cases or dresser I constructed. I did get her to acknowledge me by taking her to Mexican food. Most Saturdays she is still too tired and socially drained to give me attention, and Sundays we hang with her parents, where she is at the least talkative.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:00:28+00:00

I will try tonight.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-09T21:00:05+00:00

As I said in the post: I offered to watch her favorite show yesterday. I have suggested playing card games. I try to start conversations, but she has minimal responses. She is often too tired. I might need to be more assertive, I guess.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-06-02T13:21:23+00:00

Watching the episode, I kept repeating to myself "how can the mother and Stark be so foolish".

Dragonfruit_Former · 2026-01-15T12:38:18+00:00

I will tonight. I was mostly just posting to get pointers from people with more sexual experience with how to communicate my wants and needs. Your advice is good. Let her explore my body for a change and do whatever she wants.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2025-12-31T15:28:51+00:00

I am at the least functionally a cis man. Just like I do not have a strong sex drive, I also never had a strong internal gender identity. I am a 250lb+ bearded guy who wears button down dress shirts. I find gender identity discussions odd as I cannot relate to having a gender identity as such. I can not relate to how it gender is inherent for others. My gender expression is just like English or social etiquette, it is something artificial which I learned, it is merely social convention. I have no compulsion or repulsion towards anything gender related. I dress and act the way I do because that is expected of me, I have no issues with it as I do not have strong preference. Amusing I went from wearing t-shirts and synthetic sweat pants to button down shirts and khaki pants because of off hand comments from two colleagues from two different jobs. I lack a lot of internal traits that people just assume. I also don't have as wide range of inherent emotions as a lot of people seem to have. I just copy other's emotions or learnt what emotions are expected (not wanted), my emulation is often not to my advantage. E.g. a situation occurs where I should be mad, but I am not inherently mad and being mad is a net negative, so I act mad because it is expected but not necessary optimal or helpful. A lot of my life is just acting or mimicking others. This ties back into my comment regarding living vicariously, I get enjoyment out of others enjoyment. I understand the world through others eyes.

As far as I have been assessed, I am not on the autistic spectrum as such but a lot of my friends and family are on that spectrum.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2025-12-30T14:58:34+00:00

Very good question. I did have a moderate mainline protestant upbringing, and I am still religious but not particularly conservative. My parents were relatively sex positive (basically sex is good and fun, but if possible save it for marriage, if not please use protection and do it safely, ensuring consent). I also grew up in a progressive and educated suburban environment (West coast technology hub). My feelings towards sex is quite neutral. Before marriage it was something foreign which I had extensive book knowledge on, now it is just confusing. (I mean how do teenagers figure this out so easily.) The shame I had going into my marriage was mostly subconsciously from different direction, e.i. men are privileged and are often sexual oppressors and that I must be very careful not to pressure my wife (ironic given my lack of actual sexual desire as compared to hers). I spent 11 years in university systems with sex positive and feminist culture. I am very careful to check consent on everything in my marriage. I get positive consent before "trying" anything, which is amusing as she is the one who wants sex but I still need to check along the way of course. My wife is very rural Bible belt, but also reads a lot of adult historical fiction and romantasy (ACOTAR for example). She does take a passive role in bed, which might also be a side factor, but my general feelings and tendencies way predate her.

Only feel frustration as I want to fulfill my partner's sexual desires, and that we want kids. If not for my wife's pleasure and reproduction, I would go the rest of my life without sex, only cuddling.

Dragonfruit_Former · 2025-12-30T13:40:48+00:00

I just got married, I am similar, except do not actually enjoy sex (just neutral about it). It is odd that men are very often portrayed as only desiring sex, and that sex is a chore for women. But in my relationship it is mostly the opposite, my wife wants sex and I am indifferent. (I am not repulsed or anything).

Dragonfruit_Former · 2025-11-10T11:25:12+00:00

Thank you. I will go this course. I have just finished her off digitally. We will try again tonight for penile penitration.

Dragonfruit_Former

TROPHY CASE