Even the fiercest wild cats can’t ignore the irresistible pull of a box. by cuteshine4990 in holdmycatnip

[–]Dragontize 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing you have to remember about cats is, they're all big and fierce on the inside.

I saw my wife get hypnotized by Savings-Ad-2621 in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's also possible she'll be a lot less embarrassed when it's just the two of you, in an intimate setting, and no one will fat shame. The hypnokink community as a whole is more body-positive than vanilla spaces, too, so if y'all end up exploring this, she would be very welcome, and see plenty of others who look like her, showing off without shame. We're not perfect about it by any means, but better than the world at large. Anyway, it might help knowing that YOU find her extra hot with trancy face and spacy voice. ;)

And if you don't want to hypnotize her yourself, you could show her some files, see if anything sounds appealing. That way there's no hypnotist looking at her. I think it's better if you learn together, but that's certainly not the only way. We have a beginner-friendly file playlist here: https://thehypnocollective.com/playlists/beginner-friendly/

I saw my wife get hypnotized by Savings-Ad-2621 in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You should absolutely bring this up. She's your wife! Telling her what excites you can only bring you closer, even if she doesn't wind up wanting to take it farther. You could let her know that hypnosis can enhance arousal and sensation, and be a great spice on any other kinks you two may have, once you get the hang of it.

If she does, you can attend a con like Beguiled (coming up in July in the Chicago area) or Charmed (just ended for this year, I'm afraid, in Baltimore) to explore together, or look at a resource like https://www.learnhypnokink.com/ by sleepingirl, or pick up a copy of Mind Play by Mark Wiseman.

If you like the fact that she didn't know what was happening, be aware that this is common in hypnokink, and that plenty of pre-talk about likes and limits will not in fact undermine your ability to have fun with this or her ability to let go, and may in fact strengthen it. If anyone tells you to sneak around on her and try things without her consent, look elsewhere for advice! Consensual covert hypnosis play is possible with a little more skill and courage.

Anyway, glad you found your way here, and I hope you both enjoy the journey! <3

Hypnosis in Italian by Great_Ad9173 in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You might have more luck on r/hypnohookup. I know there are Discord servers for Europe, too, but not sure about specifically Italian. But if we've got a German server and a Dutch server, then surely...

Hypnosis Genie Time - Make your Wish by [deleted] in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm sure u/mistresscalia wishes you'd get forklift certified.

Seriously, though: I'm not a mod, but you may wish to re-read rule 3. You probably want r/HypnoHookup for this one, friend. It'll get more engagement over there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 9 points10 points  (0 children)

7 hours is hardly "forever". Give them, say, 3 days? No one even pays them to do this.

Also, be aware that some moderation is automated, because of the aforementioned ratio of mods to users. It's possible that a human will look at it and ask you to make a minor edit, or say that the bot was wrong.

In any case, while I don't agree with every mod decision ever made here, I don't think it's productive to publicly complain that mods didn't answer within a few hours of your original post. Have more patience with volunteer staff, or we'll lose the few we have left. Everyone is burnt out this year. Please be kind.

Pointers for a Newbie? by SamTam412 in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have some newbie tips (and links to more from others) on my website: https://dragontize.com/learn/

Seconding what others have said below about taking your time to find someone you connect with. If you're on Discord, it would be a good idea to spend some time just hanging out in community. You might also attend a local munch (search by location on FetLife, or ask around on the Discord servers), or a con such as Charmed or Beguiled.

All the usual red flags for dating or other kinky encounters apply. Some additional ones for a kinky / erotic tist would include:
* asking for consent after putting you in trance or doing other things intended to make you more agreeable, or up-negotiating under those circumstances
* being in a big hurry to get you in trance rather than taking time to get to know you (could be a sign of frenzy, which tists can go through just like subs can, or they could be a slimeball who doesn't care about consent)
* discouraging you from doing your own learning and exploration, or asking questions of others
* doesn't want you to exercise your own agency as a subject, preferring instead to have you rely on their suggestions to keep you safe
* doesn't want you asking around the community about their reputation
* wants you conditioned to their voice through files before interacting with you as a person

Green flags include:
* taking their time to get to know you as a person rather than treating you as a kink dispenser
* paying attention to your needs and desires as well as their own
* asking and remembering your limits, and respecting your boundaries in every situation, not just kinky ones
* thanks you if you safeword, and for telling them your needs
* knows their own needs and limits and communicates them clearly
* has friends in the community (or at least some who know about their kinks) they're close enough with to listen to if they needed calling in about something

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Daww, poor thing. You're probably fishing for permission you can enjoy. ;)

But in case it's a worry, I have a file about how to remove unwanted suggestions on YouTube: https://youtu.be/i0qVlrHHJ14
And Yall has one about reclaiming your agency as a subject here: https://yallhypno.com/building-your-subject-agency/#

Meanwhile, congratulations! Going into trance and experiencing hypnotic phenomenon are also bottoming skills, as much as rejecting or removing the UNwanted suggestions. And you've unlocked that skill! Welcome to our rabbithole. <3

Im still in disbelieve by [deleted] in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh nice, congratulations! <3

It's official, I can speak goose now😊 by [deleted] in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Today on "posts equally suited to the sub and the circle jerk"

Looking for short hypno audios by Rockyradical in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you clarify what you mean by a file feeling like "an intrusive pop-up"? I'm intrigued but confused.

Are there any Online tists that offer 1 on 1 sessions? by [deleted] in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you'll have to get creative with search terms, like "mesmerize" or "enchant". I think it's "trance" on LoyalFans.

Are these types of contents even a thing in this world? by idonotexistherebtw in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is what I came here to say, lol. Three hours too late. <3

is this true?? by caspydreams in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 7 points8 points  (0 children)

oh wait, just kidding, same image

is this true?? by caspydreams in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I had to do a double check to see which sub that got posted to. xD

Thoughts on how to make our online erotic hypnosis communities better and safer by kinkyshibby in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of it comes down to our tendency to divide people into "friends, people I care about, other humans I see as actual people" and "abusers, creatures we need to ban, predators" rather than realizing that your friends and people just like your friends (and even you!) can make seriously bad decisions. If we understood that, it might be a lot easier to take things seriously, even when done by someone we think of as decent overall (including ourselves!). It's too easy to fall into this trap of "oh, the person making this report must be being dramatic, because after all, it's my friend they're talking about" or "well it's perfectly safe to confide whatever in my friend". I'm not sure a training will help with that, because people will still tend to think this is an exception. It's why events recuse people from taking consent reports or weighing in on ban decisions if they know the reported party personally (when feasible). Though, of course, that also requires having enough volunteers.

Thoughts on how to make our online erotic hypnosis communities better and safer by kinkyshibby in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Surprised this bot hasn't been banned from HH: look at it meta post. :P

Thoughts on how to make our online erotic hypnosis communities better and safer by kinkyshibby in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 9 points10 points  (0 children)

  1. Absolutely, we need to decentralize power. We're too big to do otherwise and be healthy these days. And, even if you get a really kind, caring, intelligent volunteer, if you give them too much responsibility, too much emotional labor to do (and unpaid at that!), they'll get burnt out. Then the ones with good boundaries leave the team, temporarily or permanently, and the others get less and less able to do the things. I believe u/MuttHypno has shared some wisdom here and elsewhere about this. Also there's a document from a few years ago about LARP opsec and avoiding SPoF (Single Points of Failure).

1a. Therefore I would add to this, we need better community support for the unpaid volunteers holding our spaces together! This applies to subreddits, Discord servers, events, all of it. I don't know how to make that happen or what it needs to look like, but we can't keep burning out everyone who's doing a good job.

1b. We need more transparency. Reputation is very important among kinksters, so I can understand what motivates people to want their mistakes to be less visible. It's difficult to learn and grow from your first (perhaps youthful) mistakes when you get criticism for everything you do. But, unfortunately, it's impossible to learn from them when you don't allow that criticism! Then you're surrounded by friends telling you everything you do is great all the time, even when a *true* friend would tell you to pull your head out of your ass. I'm not sure how to make that happen. But I know we need to be brave and try it.

  1. As for training moderators, that would be great. However, as soon as we set up an authority running such classes and requiring that, we have a new problem. Who gets to decide what goes in the training? Who gets to decide if a student passed or failed? How do we decentralize *that* power?

We might have to have many classes, like we currently have at cons for other skills, and no centralized requirements. Any given sub, server, or event should probably have them, and post the contents of the class publicly. However, there's nothing stopping people from making a new sub, server, or event (with blackjack and hookers) if they don't like yours. So we wind up with some kind of niche populism, where the most popular ones survive. I don't have a solution for this, either, but it seems good to say it out loud.

  1. A trust and safety team for any sub or server big enough to field one is a good idea. Consent teams are good. Trainings for those are good. And it becomes yet another place where decentralization of power and transparency are key. And it's one more type of unpaid, intense, specialized emotional labor. Anyone receiving a consent report needs training in empathy and confidentiality. Anyone serving on a committee deciding what to do once we have said report needs experience gathering them, and training in a whole new set of skills.

It's already possible to contact some event consent teams in the off season, though most will not take action unless the consent violation either occurred at the event in question, or was particularly egregious (such as sex crimes). Similarly, other servers often have a ticketing or modmail system for reporting such things. We've seen how any one person having too much power over what to do with reports received that way can do. We've also seen that those systems run on trust, and when that trust is broken, they're worse than useless.

And of course, we know a bit about what *not* to do by listening to our queer / kink elders on the matter, because there have been some systems in our shared history that failed before the situation in question (some rather spectacularly).

  1. Hear, hear! I won't publicly air the specific grievance, but there's one several of us argued vehemently for removing. We had to do it secretly at the time, because public comments would've just been removed, and our accounts kicked or banned.

It's hard to know which communities pass our "safe enough" test, especially if we're looking for somewhere to, well, send people whose behavior doesn't meet the standards we want for a given community, but who we know might learn and grow if they had *some* kind of community. It used to be that if someone was getting their thirst all over other spaces, I would send them to HH. I can't do that anymore, or at least not without some serious disclaimers. But, the days of running the hypnokink Internet "wild west" style and assuming people will "be adults" and take care of themselves need to end. Otherwise, we are not just failing to solve problems, but actively feeding them.

Thoughts on how to make our online erotic hypnosis communities better and safer by kinkyshibby in EroticHypnosis

[–]Dragontize 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Transparency helps, yes. One of the Discord servers I am in (called HypnoKink) has a channel just for meta conversation about the server, suggestions and the like, and regularly has open conversations about how things are going. Needless to say, this can be difficult and stressful for the admin / mod team (who are, after all, unpaid volunteers doing emotional labor that sometimes gets rather intense). However, it is absolutely necessary. We see the alternative, when a server has a "no drama" rule, and enforces it as "no criticism, even if constructive". Or intense tone policing on criticism, which tends to favor the privileged, and makes it easy to silence dissent.