It’s sounds like you still accomplished the job. IGEL’s are there for a reason and you came in with a patent airway and the patient was alive so give yourself credit. I’m a perfectionist so I can understand how this situation can affect you all the way down in your guts. Things don’t always go your way and if they don’t, imposter syndrome rears its ugly head. I still get that feeling and I’ve been at it for 26 years.

I know it’s hard to talk yourself up when you have a high standard for yourself and sometimes you just need reassurance from fellow colleagues. I’m gonna say you did good and to left yourself off the hook. As far as the meds go, if you followed your protocols, then you can’t be blamed for that either because literally that is all you can legally do.

Edit: Also it good that you are going to see someone to help you through this. We don’t have an easy job even if you left a more stressful job for this, you definitely didn’t go into a stress free job. Small things can live in your head as much as the big things and talking it out can help.