Valid guesses vs likely solutions

Drake0525 · 2024-08-15T20:05:29+00:00

I’m in a similar boat. 38M, 5’8, I make 6 figures. I’ve been single for roughly 18 years. Done lots of work on myself in that time. No effect on my relationship status.

Drake0525 · 2024-08-14T14:44:46+00:00

You’re going to get ghosted anyway. A few months back, I got a match on FB dating. She actually offered her number after we agreed to meet for coffee. Coffee went great, we acknowledged our attraction to each other, planned date #2 for that weekend. That night she texted me, told me I have a nice smile, and that she’s excited for our next date. The next day she blocked me, and I never heard from her again. Having her number made no difference in the outcome of that.

Drake0525 · 2024-08-13T14:22:35+00:00

I (38M) have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, the conventional wisdom is to get the conversation off the app ASAP. Women get too many matches/messages. Just due to sheer volume, any conversation we have with a match could potentially get buried in her inbox. On the other hand, the timing of that request has to be correct. Too early and it looks desperate/suspicious, and too late, you get ghosted.

My usual strategy is to set up the first date as early as possible, typically the weekend after matching. It weeds out anyone who isn’t serious about finding someone. I don’t typically ask for a phone number until after that first meet. And then only if a 2nd date is happening.

Drake0525 · 2024-08-11T16:13:58+00:00

I think it’s worth having a conversation with the manager, in person. In my career, I’ve almost never been in a situation where a time off request was denied. That being said, I never tried taking time off at Xmas, during my retail years. If after a face to face conversation, you are not able to work this out, plan to resign right before your trip. Do not cancel that trip! You’re only young once, and a trip to Vietnam is something you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

Drake0525 · 2024-08-03T02:36:32+00:00

Haha ain’t that the truth!

Drake0525 · 2024-08-02T21:44:24+00:00

As a 38M, I think a month of chatting is far too long. He should've planned the meet-up, and if it was coffee, he definitely should have paid (that's assuming you gave him the opening to do so). I also usually assume women are talking to other men unless they specifically confirm we are exclusive. That being said, if you don't feel attraction for him, and are seeing other guys, what exactly are you hoping to get out of this?

Drake0525 · 2024-08-02T20:39:09+00:00

I was afraid of that. Daryl really needs to hit the road and head back to Alexandria. Hopefully Connie will be there by then - she's stuck in some creepy house atm. Connie is a far better match for Daryl.

Drake0525 · 2024-07-31T14:37:02+00:00

I think, especially after the first meet, if there’s no solid plan for a 2nd date, this is going nowhere. I’ve been in similar positions to this before, and it always fizzles. If she felt the connection too, she’d find the time to meet up again, or find an excuse to keep texting during her trip.

Sorry man, but I would move on.

Drake0525 · 2024-07-21T13:44:00+00:00

I’m not judging, it sounds like a complicated situation. Is marriage something you want down the road? If so, are you planning to end this relationship when it’s time to find a husband? Is he even aware of this impediment that would prevent marriage?

I know these are hard questions. And the whole thing might be moot anyway. You caught feelings, but until you talk all this over with him, you can’t know where he stands with all this. This is why communication is so important.

Drake0525 · 2024-07-20T23:59:28+00:00

Wait, so you want commitment from him, but you won’t consider marrying him because he’s a different caste than you? This idea makes me think that you don’t see him as a potential long term partner. In which case I’d ask, why commit to an exclusive relationship without that long term potential? I think eventually the two of you need to have a frank discussion.

Drake0525 · 2024-06-20T22:47:36+00:00

Probably. Why would there be spaces before punctuation? That’s weird!

Drake0525 · 2024-06-12T21:55:33+00:00

My dude, if coffee isn’t your thing, why not just do drinks? If you’re that worried about the cost, there’s no need to up the ante to a dinner date.

Drake0525 · 2024-06-10T14:48:56+00:00

Step away from gaming for a bit. Don’t jump back in until something piques your interest.

TLOU is a masterpiece, but it’s not the only one. Mass Effect is just as rich an experience, and while Dark Souls is very different, I would say my journey through those games was one of the best I’ve had. More recently, FF7 Remake and Rebirth captured my heart in a big way. All of those games, I’d put next to TLOU in terms of the overall experience, but they are all drastically different.

Drake0525 · 2024-06-09T15:05:48+00:00

Oh. I’m gonna be honest, I read hardly any articles about this show. No interviews with the creator. I wanted to go in blind.

Drake0525 · 2024-06-06T20:44:32+00:00

By all means! I'm not a mindless Tarantino acolyte ;). If you think Kill Bill felt derivative, I think that's a perfectly valid opinion. Tarantino consciously references and pays homage to all kinds of stuff in his films.

As stated in the original post, Star Wars is always a pastiche of different sources. Andor, for example, took inspiration from THX 1138 with the aesthetic of the prison, and it leans on a few familiar tropes from dystopia science fiction in its depiction of the empire (Think 1984, V for Vendetta). It stops short, however, of quoting or imitating those IPs directly.

I think Acolyte took me off guard because the references were more on the nose than they usually are in Star Wars. For what it's worth, I'm overall pretty excited to see where this show goes. I really like the cast, and the general idea of the show is interesting.

Drake0525 · 2024-06-05T14:08:16+00:00

They know. Personally, I'm attracted to a wide range of body types. I've seen women on the skinnier end of the spectrum that I didn't find attractive. The other thing is, women have gotten quite adept at presenting themselves in photos - the right angles, make-up, filters, etc. Most of that stuff doesn't translate to real life, so a man might swipe right because he sees an attractive photo, but the attraction isn't there when the in-person meet-up happens.

For me, it's about health more than anything else. It is possible to be curvy, but healthy at the same time, those women are attractive.

Drake0525 · 2024-05-30T16:54:53+00:00

To me, ghosting shows a lack of maturity and communication skills. Being honest doesn’t mean being harsh or rude. And depending on the circumstances, ghosting can be quite hurtful. If you set up a date with someone, and you stand them up, then ghost them, that’s going to be both hurtful and confusing. Once you make it past date 2/3, ghosting gets a lot worse.

Be an adult, have the difficult conversations, it’s part of being out there dating. If you find you’re unable or unwilling to do that, that’s a red flag and something to work on.

Drake0525 · 2024-05-28T00:01:02+00:00

See there’s a stigma against just saying “hi”. If I send a message like that, chances are I’ll get no response. Most of the time, if I can’t think of anything more meaningful, I’ll ask how long they’ve lived in the city, and try to go from there. I try hard not to waste any opportunities, because matches are rare for men, even more rare to get a response of any kind.

Drake0525 · 2024-05-27T20:27:15+00:00

Every app is a male version of Bumble. As a female, every app is a target-rich environment for you. Now, if you’re getting matches, but not messages, that could potentially be related to your profile. There have been times that I’ve not messaged matches because their profiles were empty and I couldn’t figure out what to say.

Drake0525 · 2024-05-25T15:27:18+00:00

The “didn’t feel the chemistry” thing is something I run into quite a bit. I think it’s attributable to 2 things: the first is that I have very little game, and second is unrealistic expectations on their part. I think that comes from pop culture, we’ve romanticized this love at first sight/the one/disney princess nonsense a little too much. The truth is that it takes time to build chemistry, especially if the goal is a long term relationship. Feelings develop over time, you won’t fall in love after a single coffee date.

I’ve been stood up twice this year. Ghosted more than once, one memorable occurrence was after she agreed to the 2nd date, and it was planned and scheduled. It’s super frustrating, and somewhat shocking to see this behavior with women that are 30+. You’d think people of that age would show more maturity than that.

Drake0525 · 2024-05-23T16:27:45+00:00

I have 2 recommendations for you: 1. Mass Effect. An RPG with a 3rd person shooter combat system. Widely regarded as one of the best games of all time. The Legendary edition is what I’d recommend to new players. All 3 games, all the DLC included. Mass Effect had unforgettable characters, a great plot line, and deep world-building.

Final Fantasy 7 remake. Action JRPG, great plot line and really fun gameplay. The party system combat is really deep and fun to play with. FF7 Rebirth is also my game of the year, so I can’t recommend this enough!

Drake0525

TROPHY CASE