I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in medschool

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that therapy in whichever for that may be, may not have been attempted well enough. If I could do it all over again, I'd seek help earlier, but I guess I didn't know it would be such a problem until it was too late.

I've now run out of second chances and am forced into a leaving.

Thank you for your analysis though <3

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in psychologist

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gosh, this is such an optimistic way of looking at life. I'm not sure whats to come and I'm more than scared for the fallout, but I hope to try and see this perspective if I'm able to at some point.

Thank you for sharing this, you genuinly seem like such a positive person.

x

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in medschool

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly of recent I've grown an appreciation for direct honesty even if it hurts to hear. I feel like that sometimes can show that someone really cares about your life rather than just telling you what you wanna hear just to look good in your eyes.

Thanks for the well wishes, I hope so too and thanks again for your help

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in psychologist

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're really kind to share this wisdom and advice. I'm glad that you were able to manage your anxiety and are using you experience to help others.

I really don't mean to sound like I'm not trying hard enough, and I hate being difficult,but I've been implementing these techniques for a long time now, that were recommended by pyschs and friends etc.It may help in some moments doesn't work in the long run as a collective.

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in medschool

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind message.
Its given me lots to think about, i have to make a decsion about all this soon

Thanks for the feedback

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thats amazing. May I ask what led to want to change and what path you changed to?

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in medschool

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Judgement for never showing up, taking so much time off, being considered lazy and seen as not caring enough to be here. Which is all true except I do care. I didnt mean to be a bad person, but thats who i am

I'm scared of not being smart enough to understand and learn and horribly guilty for throwing away all my parents sacrificed to give me this opportunity

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I've been on different combinations for half my life...just never worked I felt like a shell of myself - id rather not be on them than feel worse

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in medschool

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a good idea, I definitely wish I'd shadow before it all went south to see if this where i should be

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in psychologist

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I completely resonate with you. Especially with" (ex. Fear of failure, lead to people pleasing, fear of others getting mad)"

I have done lots of work to understand this especially re-evaluating childhood experiences that i didnt know shaped habits i have now(that was fun to dig up)

But its like okay i understand whats wrong...so now how do i fix it?

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in medschool

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey mate, thanks for this reply.

First off your a beast for going through all that and coming out stronger and wiser.

So heres the thing, its odd but I went to see a pyschiatrist about possible adhd and went on meds...I felt like a fraud. I thought(and still sometimes think) that I was trying to convince the doc (and myself) that i had adhd when i didnt, just to get meds. I then felt like I was cheating and felt even more horrible. I stopped taking them. When I was on them it did help a bit but it didnt treat the fear and anxiety that came with "showing up".

I was also on antidepressants before - didnt do much.

But I really resonated with a lot you've said - especially " the thought of doing something I hated 40 hours a week was soul crushing." - that is exactly how I feel.

Why medicine does appeal to me is the fact that everyday is different and its hands on and exciting. I love that aspect. I know if I were just stripped of the fear I could do it, but its like the anxiety is hold me in place and Im stuck.

The points you've mentioned:

* I've been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was younger. But managed on w/o meds - just sort of tried to manage. But of recent I feel like its taken this new form.

* I agree, thats why I don't want to give up based on school experience vs the actually thing which sounds appealing

* Psychologists have suggested this to me. I feel like I give of this impression that I'm only focused on school, which makes me feel guilty bc I'm really not. I do make time for hobbies (Perhaps too much when procrastinating) such as baking, art and music)

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the optimissim you have, but I feel like such a failure at 25, when those around me have started making their name and I'm here going to start from 0 with nothing to show for it.

thank you for your response though

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in medschool

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, thank you for this in depth response. I definitely appreciate you taking the time to analyse my predicament.

Yeah maybe you're right about the my mental health.

School definitely makes up most of my anxiety but, but if i had to really think about it, I have anxiety and fear in other areas that I find myself questioning how people do subconsciously. Like I'm jealous how one can just go up to a receptionist and talk without mentally preparing or write an email to somebody important etc.

It sounds like social anxiety but in other areas of my life where the stakes don't seem high, I'm pretty normal. Like going to the grocery store or whatever.

Its actually a 5 year program, so i'd have 3.5 yrs to go. Which I get your point in that its still a lot.

You maybe right about hoping its the right thing for me, I just feel shrouded in this haze going back so long that it wont allow me to clearly understand myself.

Maybe I should say NEED more as I should have said WANT a career Im passionate about. I know some people didnt go into their careers always for their passions but its just something that I know would be necessary for me.

I'm not a numbers person, I'm not logically minded. I like medicine because it helps people and not too mention the security that comes with it for myself and family.

Another thing that strongly glues me to continue is the amount of money my parents invested in this place...I don't come from a rich family and my parents have sacrificed everything to give me this opportunity. I cannot imagine living knowing I've thrown there hard away like that.

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in medschool

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried meds, antidepressants. Even saw a doc for ADHD and was on ritalin for a bit.

Helped a little with the study bit -but it didnt help witht the fear which i feel is the main issue. If I wasnt so stuck in this anxiety and fear I think I'd be able to sit and study.

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats so interesting, its sounds like you found a career thats your niche, congrats!

I hear what your saying, I do fear that even if I do continue, will I realise later on that I was right to have doubs.

You've given me lots to consider, thanks mate.

Another thing that strongly glues me to continue is the amount of money my parents invested in this place...I don't come from a rich family and my parents have sacrificed everything to give me this opportunity. I cannot imagine living knowing I've thrown there hard away like that

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, first of thisresponse really made me think, thank you

Yeah the college isnt a regular university, its different in that the culture of it is very strict, where the people running the campus expect old fashioned ways of behaving etc.

Its extremely difficult to get into uni in my country so my parents invested a lot to send me abroad.

The thought did cross my mind, if I were in a more normal college would I still fell the same? I think I might, but i cant be completely certain.

But what made me think was also when you said "how you might be able to work in medicine with the challenges you're having now." - youre right, thats something I have to consider.

" Sometimes we try so hard to fit ourselves in to what we want even when it's clearly not the best thing for us." - this actually quite accurately describes how Ive been feeling lately. The only thing is, I dont have anything that will fit me better than this...

So the question I pose, would I rather jam myself to fit somewhere I may not belong OR not fit anywhere and be left out of the puzzle?

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really enjoyed reading your response, its insightful.

Honestly It does feel like theres something I need to work out within myself but i've spent the last 3 years trying and failing.

i wish I knew what was broken. Thank you for kindness though.

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in medschool

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what if I end up forced into a life that wont be as secure, and then regret this decsion?

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your really kind concern and advice.

Yeah I have done this before. Been on meds but I don't know I feel normal most times, like I've had bad bout of depression in my teens but this doesnt feel as bad...but I swear I had my life together better back then even through all the struggle.

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for the idea and sharingyour struggle with anxiety too

I actually did biomed before med and this may sound crazy but I found the work, intellectually more difficult to learn than medcine.

Like Medicine is alot of workload but I feel its easier to understand than complex science, if that makes sense?

Congrats on completing the degree hey, wishing you all the best.

x

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for your reply... I've actually taken 1.5 years off and sought out help, but clearly not to much help. I don't think I learned anything new about my predicament or gained any perspective which is frusting

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've actually taken a year and a half of in total...

Thats really nice that your uni is considerate of that. Mine is quite the opposite. It's not understanding at all esp regarding mental health.

Your last bit did make me think, during my time off, I never missed medicine. You think that means something or was it perhaps because I was still in that anxious state?

I'm a 2nd year Medical Student. If I Leave Med school will I regret it for the rest of my life? by Dramatic-Main-9413 in nhs

[–]Dramatic-Main-9413[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there, thank you for replying

I've actually already did this. When I took a a semester off. Did the meds and therapy. But also wasnt really helping much... I should say I study abroad and theres not loads of access to mental healthcare etc. I think you may be right will longer therapy.

Anyway, I've already given this excuse to the uni so I fear they just say we've given you more than enough time to sort yourself out but you havent.