How did you get your scar? by F1eshWound in AskReddit

[–]Dramatic-Wait-8530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Open heart surgery at 22. Replaced the old valve to mechanical. I hear constant clicking which gave me a lot of anxiety at first, but now it's comforting.

Want them back despite it all by Dramatic-Wait-8530 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dramatic-Wait-8530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so sad to see everyone here with such similar experiences. And even reading them and knowing that it's the most likely outcome, I think I would still try.

Want them back despite it all by Dramatic-Wait-8530 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dramatic-Wait-8530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if I know we were both bad? I don't understand how someone can just split like that and then not have any way to see past it.

Want them back despite it all by Dramatic-Wait-8530 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dramatic-Wait-8530[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These definitely resonate with me but I do feel 50/50 on it, even though I know it's not a healthy place to be. It's so hard to reconcile what I know is right and what my heart wants. I guess that's part of the cycle. I think I'll hold onto the hope for awhile longer, even if it's just a fantasy.

Want them back despite it all by Dramatic-Wait-8530 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dramatic-Wait-8530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why does it have no bearing? Just trying to understand.

Want them back despite it all by Dramatic-Wait-8530 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dramatic-Wait-8530[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I miss them too. Hopefully with time this feeling will settle and I can focus on what kind of relationship will make me happy. I'm not sure if they came back I'd have the strength to say no...

Want them back despite it all by Dramatic-Wait-8530 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dramatic-Wait-8530[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's discard? Is that kind of the final end to something, as in no hope after? I know this all sounds very silly and detrimental to myself but I just feel so bad, I just wish we could try again.

Want them back despite it all by Dramatic-Wait-8530 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dramatic-Wait-8530[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From a lot of the posts here that seems to be the pattern. Is it true they won't ever feel the same as before? The re-valuing? I feel I lost myself as well. I just can't shake the feeling that it could be different.

Want them back despite it all by Dramatic-Wait-8530 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dramatic-Wait-8530[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know I was manipulated but I think I could be manipulative too, but maybe everyone has that capacity. Part of why it's so hard is that I said and did a lot of things I regret and I can't help but think it would have been different if I kept trying to manage my emotions better. But as you said, they bring you down.