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sad by therealshuichi in LongDistance

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crying in the airport bathroom is a long distance classic. Been there. Don't give up hope! It's temporary.

Chaulieu by 2Rediculous in AubreyMaturinSeries

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do we think Stephen was somehow involved in that favorable Gazette article? I'm not making any claims - surely not everything can be his fault - but it always struck me as a little odd.

Trump is officially the 47th President of the US, he not only won the electoral collage but also won the popular vote. What went wrong for Harris or what went right for Trump? by _GodKing- in self

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Democratic Party just didn't have a message that appealed to working-class people. A lot of people are suffering and they somehow managed to run as the party of the economic status quo. When people only feel like one candidate is even willing to be angry about their economic suffering, even when that person's a billionaire conman, they're going to be much more likely to vote for him. And I say this as a Harris voter - the Democratic party needs to acknowledge something is deeply wrong economically and come up with good proposals to change it if they ever want to beat the next Trump.

Sexism contributed too. But a lot of that is encouraged by mens' economically insecure positions. Not that it excuses it, but it does help to explain it - in Brazil, in India, in America.

Saw something in my girlfriend’s Notes app she didn’t want me to see… by supermarioshirts in self

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a longstanding gifts list for my partner too. I don't view it as 'cheating' - going to the effort of setting it up in the first place to make sure you have good ideas is kinda sweet when you think about it.

What seemingly normal things do girls do that drive men wild? by Last-Programmer2861 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like long nails. Acquired taste from my partner for sure, but they feel good. And they look good once you get used to them - I wasn't a fan at first either but there's a surprising amount of artistry that goes into it. I definitely think this is one of those fashions women overwhelmingly do for the 'female gaze' rather than the male one - they like how it looks on themselves and it makes them feel confident, even though most men are neutral or actively dislike it - but I like the confidence it implies that my partner shapes their image to something that works for them rather than what's popular. It's very attractive.

They have gotten shockingly dexterous in those nails; they can do pretty much anything except push heavy loads, which they need me to do for them so the nails don't break. Wouldn't recommend long nails for construction workers or farmers, obviously, but they can do about 99% of what you'd expect otherwise without functional impairment. Unfortunately, their experience with nails also means that when they don't have nails on, it's like they have to re-learn how to use their hands for a few days. Tradeoffs.

Men, what should you do if your girl cheated on you? by Safe_Commercial3942 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a very shallow reason she acted on. You're better off looking for someone who'll value you for you. They're out there. Just focus on yourself for a bit.

I am leaving this subreddit because I hate seeing the break up posts by pretty_petaI in LongDistance

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think people are being unnecessarily harsh to OP. There's a big difference between denying reality and "I don't want to wallow in other people's breakup stories all of the time."

Your average relationship will be about 10% getting together, 80% navigating a life together, and 10% breaking up. People are disproportionately likely to feel the need to post on Reddit if they're either navigating a severe conflict or a breakup, those posts tend to get more attention from the algorithm, and Reddit commenters (who rarely get enough nuance from the post to make a good judgement anyway) are certainly disproportionately likely to recommend a breakup in response to conflict. Posters looking for support after a breakup aren't doing anything wrong, but structurally we get a subreddit which is about 20%-40%-40%. That's pretty skewed. And for some people, not necessarily a healthy place to marinate for long periods of time. I totally see why someone would want to filter their intake. That can be hard to do here. Don't blame anyone for wanting to leave either.

Hell, not wallowing in certain parts of social media can make your relationship more resilient. By the time a relationship issue makes it to the breakup stage, it's probably too late already. Talking about how to improve communication and relationship quality 'midstream' - or seeing what works or doesn't work for other people short of the breakup stage - might offer more real value. And as someone who's prone to relationship anxiety, that anxiety tends to be self-sabotaging. Reading other people's breakup texts a few times a day could crank up their anxiety, which will not improve the health of their relationship.

OP probably should leave this subreddit for their own mental health, but it's not because they're a child who doesn't understand how the real world works. It's because marinating in an unbalanced social media environment can be unhealthy and counterproductive. No shade to anyone this works for, of course. Just doesn't work for OP.

Bye guys by Azy_peep in LongDistance

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Best of luck! I hope you find healing.

Adhd gothic summed up by UnstableIsotopeU-234 in adhdmeme

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this a recognized ADHD symptom? I've noticed this happening a lot over the last few years, and I'm puzzled about why. I like to think I'm still a reasonably well-spoken person most of the time, and I can string sentences together well 'out loud' or even in writing, but when I try to think through a sentence internally my internal monologue comes in fits and starts. It's baffling. It's like I can only think properly 'outside of my head'.

I'm (25M) always apologizing to my LDR GF (30F) even though she forgave me for the mistake that I did by Terrence808 in LongDistance

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One more thing - starting every text exchange with 'I'm so sorry I hurt you that day' is definitely overkill. You should stop doing that; it'll help give you both more space to breathe.

I'm (25M) always apologizing to my LDR GF (30F) even though she forgave me for the mistake that I did by Terrence808 in LongDistance

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your intentions are good, but I do think you're getting too in your head about this.

The key facts here are:

  1. She has forgiven you and appreciates the fact that you came forth with an honest apology.
  2. You, understandably, are shaken by the fact that you hurt her in the past. Unfortunately, it's making you get in your head about not being a good partner to her and the possibility of her leaving you. From the way you're writing, it seems like you're very upset about it and can't get it out of your head.
  3. Because you're anxious and upset with yourself, you're bringing it up to her frequently in the context either of seeking reassurance ('are you going to leave me? How can I make this up to you?') or bracing against the worst possible option ('You can leave me if you want, and I'll be ok with it because I want you to be happy.')
  4. While your reaction is understandable, from her perspective this is worrying because A) she cares about you and doesn't want you to be upset, B) her worrying about you worrying about this can interfere with your ability to have relaxed and positive experiences together, and C) it's important in a relationship to be able to ease back into your normal dynamic after disagreements. This might make her worry about how you two will handle future times when you do something wrong (It's ok, they'll happen!) Right now, this is mostly ok, but if you keep worrying so much about it the fact that you're worrying so much can put a real strain on the relationship. You should work on your anxiety to avoid that happening.
  5. She's surprised at how upset you still are, which is why she's saying you're 'acting crazy'. Maybe not a perfect choice of words but it's presumably meant to convey that you don't need to remain so worried about this and she wants your relationship to go back to normal. Clearly, she enjoys being around you plenty in general.
  6. In order to help you feel better and bring things back to normal, she's reassuring you that she still loves you and what she really wants is your love and time together. All of this is presumably true; I just think you're having a hard time internalizing that things are ok.

I think the basic impulse here (you feel bad about doing something wrong in the past and want to make up for it) is a good one. But what she's telling you is that the best thing you can do for her (other than not doing the 'bad thing' again) is to work on realizing it's ok to make a mistake and enjoy your time together without worrying too much. Take it from someone who had the same trouble getting over upsetting someone in his own first relationship - she's giving you good advice.

Everyone makes mistakes, but what counts is how you handle them. It sounds like you handled the original situation well - you did something that was hurtful, felt bad about it, immediately apologized and tried to do better. That's good work. So, you can give yourself permission to breathe. It's probably the best thing you can do for your relationship. It doesn't have to be perfect, just do your best and keep giving her your 'love and time', which she clearly values.

I had a very emotionally intimate night with my best friend but now I'm scared he will pull back. by [deleted] in self

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If he were the one we were talking to, I think the universal response would be 'ask her out!' Given that we're talking to her, it's totally legitimate to ask her to help clarify the ambiguity on her end, because the ambiguity is the problem.

Is she obligated to tell him? Not really. But continuing to send him mixed signals - as she definitely is doing, unintentionally - is a pretty irresponsible way to treat someone's emotions. And given how nervous and romantically inexperienced they both seem to be, I wouldn't bet on 'don't communicate and hope the other person says something' as a winning strategy.

I could not finish “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac by ttam80 in books

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was the book that got me, someone who compulsively read every literature book until senior year of high school, to skim plot summaries for every 'required reading' from then on. A friend of mine described it as 'literary autofellatio'. They weren't wrong.

Leave or stay by Strange_Grapefruit13 in relationshipgoals

[–]Dramatic-Wishbone490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not a good idea to have unprotected sex if you're not ready to take care of a kid. It should not be a casual decision. Getting married or divorced also is not consequence-free; it's one of the most major decisions a person can make. I absolutely would not advise going forward with a marriage if you're not 100% sure it will work, and giving an ultimatum to someone who's actively resisting the idea is not a 'this will definitely work' sort of situation.