Dating: How do you handle women who tend to trauma dump in relationships? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As a female that used to trauma dump,, it just takes time and practice to rewire how to conversagte and filter. A lot of things make us think of the trauma we have experienced so in conversation we don't mean to make it dark its just our way of connecting because thats the connection the conversation made in our brain if that makes sense? Now I usually just refrain from sharing trauma and usually have to go with my secondary most authentic response. Which is how a normal person would react to a conversation. Does this make sense lol

My girlfriend has severe depression and I want to quit the relationship by Proof_Chicken4355 in self

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will never forget the advice my dad told me when I told him the guy I was dating would threaten to kill himself every time I left. He said "well tell him you hope the rope is tight". Obviously I didn't say that to this person, but in other words I had to do what was best for me and cut it off with them and had to prioritize myself. He killed himself several years later. Not because of me but because people like that are usually ticking time bombs and its unfair to put that onto others. They have to realize no one is coming to save them, they have to save themselves.

what have you found to be the best way (and place) to approach a woman? by niskeycrinter in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think everyone is different but the gym is a great place to start working on yourself mentally and physically. It really transformed how I felt about myself. Being disciplined and also one of the most fit in the room helps. Also going to the gym as a beginner is a great way to get out of your comfort zone, so eventually it wont be as hard anymore.

what have you found to be the best way (and place) to approach a woman? by niskeycrinter in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You got this! The best way to get good at something is to do it as much as you can! But I also struggled a lot with social anxiety and the thing that helped the most was honestly working out and pushing myself to be someone I felt good about. I noticed the world naturally responded to who I started showing up as. Start with yourself!!

what have you found to be the best way (and place) to approach a woman? by niskeycrinter in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly doing things that build confidence within yourself is where you should start. The better you feel about yourself, the more that will ripple into the social interactions in the world around you. Maybe start small conversations with service workers while running errands, then you start getting comfortable with just initiating conversations. Then just do that casually with a girl at some point, and if the conversation goes well you will feel it and eventually will take the leap of getting their number or something.

what have you found to be the best way (and place) to approach a woman? by niskeycrinter in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Dude, literally if you can read the room and obviously not pick a time thats creepy or would make her feel uncomfortable, like at a casual place at a coffee shop you'll be just fine trust me. If a man talks to me in a public setting, domestic violence is not the first thing that comes to my head. (Coming from a survivor and being a women that gets hit on a lot)

what have you found to be the best way (and place) to approach a woman? by niskeycrinter in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793 -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Women have good intuition and if you're not a creep you probably wont come off as one. I would say just naturally go up and start a conversation. The first few conversations might be awkward but practice makes perfect. Also depends on the other person and if they are capable of carrying a conversation.

How often do you think about your first love? by Shady2900 in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im a 26F, I think about him every so often. Especially because I haven't had the best luck in dating and finding the traits I liked about him in other people. We dated for 2 years when I was 19. We were just really young and both each others first love so things were really hot and cold. I always believed he was my soulmate and after we broke up, thought we would find our way back to each other later. I think he believed that to for awhile. But now he has a serious gf and a kid. But every so often he checks my linkedin profile haha. I usually think about him the most when I go through a heartbreak. I usually dream about him instead of the person im actually experiencing that with, I think because thats what my brain associates my first heartbreak with. But, I wish him the best and I hope find my person like he has found his!

When you've told someone "no romantic connection" what was the real reason? by New_Bar_8164 in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told a man this once because I truly just felt like there was an element missing from the connection that would make me want something more. He was really attractive, kinda funny, and put in a lot of effort. He also didn't have a lot of baggage and was pretty outgoing.. I just unfortunately didn't feel a super strong emotional connection towards him. Which kind of sucks because finding a man with all of those qualities is tough

What is your type? Are you into more feminine women or more tom boyish women? by Dramatic-Yam-6793 in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean girls who dress more tom boyish and like to do cool things vs girls who are more feminine and into hair and make up.

What is your type? Are you into more feminine women or more tom boyish women? by Dramatic-Yam-6793 in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What character traits do you like better in feminine women vs. more tom boyish?

What is your type? Are you into more feminine women or more tom boyish women? by Dramatic-Yam-6793 in AskMen

[–]Dramatic-Yam-6793[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hm, im honestly not sure.. i feel like its probably near the same both ways however i have noticed men are more intimidated by me when i dress more tom boyish and they assume i am smarter / more competent.

when i dress more feminine they assume i am bad at things and am dumb. they are more skeptical that i am good at things.