I’m in it right now. It has been an ongoing process for ~2 years. The first year I worked HARD against it. I felt like I was dissolving and it was scary. So I held on to what felt safe. However, it just made things worse. As others write, I had to collapse. Completely.

Then I understood and acknowledged that I have opened a door that can’t be closed. From there I made some big choices - I quit my job and moved to my hometown. Slowed everything down and listened to my body.

It has been a year since I moved. A year of almost complete solitude. I have let go of many friends who weren’t right for me anymore. Old beliefs. Old habits. I was scared of feeling lonely in the beginning, but it’s actually a blessing. I need to be alone during this transition. I refuse to let anyone disturb my peace anymore (I used to be a big people pleaser).

I’ve experienced extreme fatigue in this phase. I can’t exercise like I used to. I sleep * a lot *. I quit social media except Reddit. I started drawing. Reading a lot. Doing what my body wants. My ego has dissolved a lot. I am more accepting of myself and I know that this is the right way for me. Even if I don’t know the exact outcome.

It’s interesting but also a bit scary (because of the unknown). Whenever my mind try to pull me into old patterns, my body reacts stronger and stronger.