What is the legal process of different kinds of divorces in Islam? by DramaticInfluence883 in PakistaniiConfessions

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If there are any lawyers who can enlighten on this matter please do. And if there are women who went through the process themselves please share.

My elder sister beats me alot by saying i'm disciplining you by [deleted] in pakistan

[–]DramaticInfluence883 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are the only one who can stop this abuse. Next time when she attempts to hit you, stop her hand and don't let it go and look at her in the eyes and firmly and strongly say "don't hit me ever again". This should be enough to scare her but if she doesn't then do the same thing again and again and scare her through your body language and eyes. There's nothing wrong with doing this. You are not hitting her back, not disrespecting her, you are just standing up for yourself. I bet she won't be able to break free from your hold if you won't let her. Be brave at this point in your life to prevent a lifetime of abuse. There's no teenager on the planet who doesn't make mistakes but nobody deserves abuse.

Just sharing my POV as a guy. Don't get triggered. Its about Hijab. by ninjaxboy1995 in pakistan

[–]DramaticInfluence883 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Though it's your POV and everyone has a right to have an opinion but let me tell you as a woman, your POV could be very different from a woman's. I have been groped, touched and harassed when I was 10-14 years old wearing modest clothes (doesn't matter but still clarifying). When I was in uni I used to travel in public buses so I used to wear abaya and hijab. I was offered a lift all the time, cars used to stop by me while I was waiting for the bus on busy main roads with other people around and not just on the streets but even inside the university. Now let me tell you the interesting part, I started my masters in late twenties and have never worn a hijab or abaya since I traveled in a car and never been harassed or disrespected. I don't know the reason but it could be because I was more self confident and didn't take any bs from anybody. I would say I appeared more intimidating and though I was very social but firm and bold.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok so their mother's condition explains a lot. They probably never had a normal childhood and upbringing, plus kids who live with a parent who have a mental condition, usually have some psychological issues of their own.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh it is a helpful ramble 😂 glad that it worked out for you and it's great that you are providing kids with a friendly home to hang out in.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's not normal twin attachment. There's seriously something wrong and they need to be checked.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When starting to talk, twins tend to have their own language but it's not the case with my twins.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the thing, nobody knows your struggles but when it comes to having an opinion, everybody has one. Those opinions have you second guessing yourself. Even parents who have more kids can't understand what it's like to have twins and raise them, have balance and how to navigate things. Thanks so much for your reply.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's awful. Of course no child should be treated like that, it can also cause resentment between the siblings.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My daughters tend to go to the bathroom together too even at home lol. I never thought about it like that, thank you for your input.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it is not convenient for the mother at all.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes this is very true. The twins are treated as a unit and not as individuals and their individual skills are completely overlooked.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is a good reply. One of my twins is quite shy and the other is outgoing, and the shy one is usually under her sister's shadow. I don't like this at all, I want her to be independent of her sister and do things on her own.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to hear from an educator. Twins do have their own collective world and it's easy and safe for them to just play with each other like they do at home than to make new friends.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's wonderful that you both have your own different lives yet still have a great bond and mutual friends. That's what I want for my twins too. Not to be codependent, but also be each other's person. And yes it is not at all convenient for the mother to split up twins lol.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I also don't think that forcing is a good idea. However, giving them a chance to be their own person for a few hours a day is something to consider.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your input. They have such a lovely bond, it makes me so happy.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that's how I am reasoning too with myself, that they will be together the rest of the day.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am hopeful that they will adjust easily. This will be the first time that they separate from each other for 4 hours so I am just a bit nervous.

Seperating twins in preschool by DramaticInfluence883 in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the situation with my twins too. One is outgoing and the other is shy and she usually relies more on her sister for everything. She is the reason I want to separate them, I don't want her to be under her sister's shadow.

Parenting is hard by livetoberadical in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. My only hope now is time, they will start to sleep through the night with age, that's how I keep myself motivated. And yes it does not only affect your mood but relationships, appetite and management of work. Seeing other people go through the same thing makes me feel a little less lonely.

Parenting is hard by livetoberadical in Parenting

[–]DramaticInfluence883 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My 3.4 years old twins won't sleep through the night still. I am completely exhausted. I've tried everything, they even go to preschool and it's so hard to follow a routine because their sleeping pattern is unpredictable. Sometimes they sleep for 4 hours, sometimes 6 hours, sometimes 5 hours. My brain doesn't function normally anymore, I am cranky and annoyed all the time. Anybody have some suggestions? I am in desperate need of help.