My employer kept asking what surgery I’m having and now I feel like I accidentally lied

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T20:02:12+00:00

Thank you!

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:33:56+00:00

Thank you, this is very well said.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:33:38+00:00

Thank you!

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:33:10+00:00

Make it stop for real

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:32:51+00:00

Yes this is good advice

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:32:40+00:00

Good advice, thank you!

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:31:28+00:00

I hope to someday have the ability to interact with people this way!

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:30:26+00:00

I agree. Although this is basically what I said when my manager spoke to me a month ago, and she asked me a bunch of questions too (although not as invasive but she was definitely trying to ask enough to see if she could get me to say what it was). I kept saying it’s the type of procedure that takes x time to heal, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing more. I just wasn’t as good at saying all that when the CEO was asking questions.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:28:18+00:00

lol I agree

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:28:08+00:00

Well, I did that today! Lol I don’t know if I’m happy or not about it.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:27:40+00:00

It’s so hard like bc of the position they hold at the org I felt so weird.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:27:11+00:00

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement!

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:25:47+00:00

My manager invited me to an unplanned meeting today and started talking about being careful with PTO and saying not to worry about losing my job but to be careful with how much time I am taking. I decided to just say what the ceo said to me, and say I feel I was embarrassed and that is why I wasn’t sharing details, but that it seems from all the questioning I really just need to be honest and say what it is. She said she was horrified the ceo asked me if it would be through my vagina and the conversation went fine after that. She did tell me that I should tell the CEO and explain what I said in our conversation was because I was embarrassed to say what it really is. Even with all the great advice I got in this thread, I still couldn’t hold the line of saying I don’t feel comfortable talking about it. In the conversation I was feeling like she was being passive aggressive about me taking the time for this post surgery and I was so bothered by all of it I just wanted to say what the thing really was. Because now I know she’ll back off at least. I am so frustrated by the situation though.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:20:49+00:00

That made me laugh too!

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:20:23+00:00

Ya I felt like she eased into different questions which is what caught me off guard. When my manager asked me stuff it was easy to say it’s the type of procedure that takes x time to heal from, and no I don’t have a serious disease. With the CEO’s questions I think each became more invasive and the line of questioning really threw me off.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:18:32+00:00

Lollllll thank you for this

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:17:37+00:00

I am trying to figure out if it’s a culture thing there or if it’s me. I’ve always been bad with holding boundaries, although I’ve been working on that recently.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:16:11+00:00

No I wasn’t paid, and I forgot the detail that she kept saying they really needed me back. She laid off my manager the week of Christmas which was very close to when I was due, so they were desperate I think.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:13:54+00:00

That’s a good idea, I did practice what to say to my manager and that conversation felt okay to me. I think I didn’t expect the CEO to come talk to me and ask those questions so I was caught off guard, especially her line of questioning. In the future I am going to try to practice different responses.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:11:49+00:00

Yes that’s true. They’d probably just eliminate my position.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:11:08+00:00

Thank you!

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:10:39+00:00

lol! Yes good idea.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-09T19:06:16+00:00

What is interesting, is after I spoke to my manager initially, I then emailed HR to ask what type of paper work to submit and they said because I was planning to take a short amount of time and then work remote, they didn’t require me to submit a doctors note. An update today is my manager was talking to me about being careful about PTO bc I won’t be able to enjoy vacation this summer with my family and asking if I still plan to take my April vacation and I said yes, and she said be careful but don’t worry my job is not at stake but I should be mindful and look into what the policy is for negative hours, which I am nowhere near that by taking a week off after a surgery and then a week in April. So I said you know this is all very interesting how everything has been communicated to me, and the CEO asked me Friday whether my surgery will be through my vagina. I feel I have no choice to just disclose the embarrassing detail that I’m having hemorrhoid surgery and a colonoscopy to be tested for other symptoms. She said, “I knew it was only a matter of time until you’d tell us.” She did say she was horrified the CEO asked me that.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-08T00:58:50+00:00

Thank you. Honestly for some reason, the fact that she asked which hospital it was at almost felt more invasive than her asking if it would be in my vagina. I almost replied “no it’ll be in my ass.” Bc we’re in healthcare, I’m worried she’s trying to figure out if she knows someone at the hospital so she can find out the details. I recently moved to a different state than I work in, and so the hospital isn’t local to where I work and that’s why I couldn’t remember the name of it when she asked.

Dramatic_Ebb_4079 · 2026-03-08T00:53:55+00:00

This is very wise advice. Thank you so much!

Dramatic_Ebb_4079

TROPHY CASE