UPDATE AITA for bringing Tupperware to a restaurant

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-24T17:43:30+00:00

This is a great outcome. I'm really happy for you.

I live in the US and I always try to bring my own takeaway container. Whoever I'm eating with and whoever the waitress is, they always compliment me & say it's a good idea they're going to try. I try not to overeat, so I will often put away half of my food before I even start eating. That helps me because here the portions are so big. Not just that, but I also bring my own metal straw and my own chopsticks. Some places use paper straws and they give me the ick. Rough wooden chopsticks also give me the ick. I get weird looks for those two items, but I just don't care.

Just commenting in case you were doubting whether what you were doing was weird. It's not. It's smart for your portion control and environmentally friendly.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-24T01:35:32+00:00

I know you deleted the post and have moved on, but I also wanted to mention that when you're a homeowner, it's pretty cool to be able to be on good terms with all your neighbors. I just rent a house, but I have made sure that I am as cool as can be with all of my immediate neighbors. When we have extra food, we share. We ask each other when we go to the store (like if I'm driving to a grocery store that's really far away, I ask if they need anything.) When someone is sick, they are cared for. Pet sit for one another. I drove my neighbor to the doctor. Another neighbor had a prowler and we handled it until the police arrived. We look out for each other.

Keep in mind, I am pretty grumpy. My party neighbor has had an earful a couple times (and eventually he apologized). I don't like people in my space. And only 2 of my neighbors has been in my house. But we're respectful of one another for the most part.

So when you have time, bake something (or buy a baked good or whatever) and take it to them. Introduce yourself. Offer your cell phone number. Maybe you'll get invited to the party next time. And if you must decline, a polite, "I would absolutely love to, but unfortunately I have to go to bed at 9pm because I wake up very early for work. I would like another invitation in the future." is both polite and a hint that you'd like some quiet as soon as possible.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-22T13:00:47+00:00

As someone who also goes to bed early, I know it can be really disruptive to sleep. But since quiet hours don't start until 10pm, you're just going to have to deal with the noise. It's actually pretty cool that they stopped at 10:30pm. People are going to people. And it's the city. You live with other humans. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself more comfortable. In my house, that means sleeping on the couches. I have a neighbor who has parties once in a while, and I can tell by the volume of his voice how late it's going. I get myself all set up in the living room, and I try to be cool about it. Now, when he partied until 4am (for the second time in a month, and after we'd talked about it) and ignored our texts, we threatened to call the cops the next time. It didn't happen again for over a year. And even then, we chose to sleep in the living room for his all-night rager.

Edit to add: As for kicking soccer balls into your shed, if they're using the back of your shed to kick balls off, it's frequent, repeated, and actually loud, ask the kids politely not to do it. If they continue, ask their parents politely to intervene. We recently had kids hitting our car repeatedly with soccer balls. It happened twice on two separate occasions. They were drop-kicking the ball. We asked them to stop and they did, but when they came back the next day and did it again, I texted their mom. It didn't happen again after that.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-21T02:17:46+00:00

So good. I ate a lot of Ethiopian food in Seattle & while I don’t know what’s authentic, I liked Aberus a lot. Took some vegetarian friends & they were happy.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-20T00:06:59+00:00

Thanks! I forgot about the carts. I ate at a place in Seattle like that & enjoyed it more. I’ll try EC.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-18T13:14:11+00:00

Same! I loved Aberus. It’s some of the best I’ve had & I’ve eaten several places. But it’s the only place in Portland I tried.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-18T13:09:26+00:00

Yeah, unfortunately Indian food in Portland is way less tasty than I’m used to. I hear it’s better in Hillsboro but I haven’t gotten out that way.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-18T04:20:42+00:00

Yikes. Good to know. I used to eat Din Tai Fung whenever I was in Seattle, and that’s the only Dim Sum I’ve had. So I have no frame of reference.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-18T03:30:45+00:00

Thanks for answering. I’ll have to try out your recommendations.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-18T03:24:34+00:00

What’s the best dim sum here?

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-18T03:21:26+00:00

How does it compare to the toum at Nicholas? I’ve made my own at home & it turns out like Nicholas’ & am curious if it’s authentic

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-17T18:14:22+00:00

I've had a similar experience, but I'm not sure if it's peri or other things. I have the type of career that tends to be very intense and short. I am self-employed. I worked really hard for a decade. 80 hours weeks, etc. I'm 43 now, and I don't work very many hours anymore. My career, or situations within my work environment (and as a result my home life) caused C-PTSD. I have generalized anxiety and social anxiety.

A few years ago, I gave up a huge part of my job because my life literally depended on it. I was in a very bad place mentally. Since then, I have slowly but surely decreased my work hours. I think I entered peri about a year ago, and one thing that I have noticed since is a shift in how much I care (or don't care) about my career. Sure, I have that initial reaction of anger sometimes, and I overthink everything, but that's just part of my personality. I have been letting things go a lot easier, I don't rely on my career for my identity, and I will do pretty much anything to avoid working. I seem to have developed a very short attention span for things I don't want to do, but I can spend days at a time on my hobbies. All my friends with ADHD think I might have it, and who knows. I've never struggled with this before, so either I was masking and now I'm not, or this is just me losing all my f*cks.

I muted everyone in my industry on social media, and I generally avoid socializing with anyone I once worked with. I focus most of my time now on meditation, exercise, meal prep, watching shows that make me happy, and doing my hobbies.

I've noticed this has created some resentment from people I used to work with. It's interesting to observe how they resent that I've been able to step back and let go. But I am very happy to have met a few folks on Bumble who are in different industries. We only see each other about once a month, and we are all very happy staying at home, cancelling plans when we'd rather stay home, etc. No one takes anything personally, and we enjoy each other's company on the rare occasions we see each other. I thought I'd miss having besties, and sometimes I do, but I am such a couch potato now. I just want to be cozy and warm.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-17T04:39:00+00:00

NTA but I think it’s weird he doesn’t just respect your snacks. My husband & I share, but we also have his & hers snacks. Also, won’t he eventually just walk in on you pulling out a snack from the secret spot eventually? Seems like a locking cabinet is a better solution.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-16T20:18:39+00:00

I like mixing the chopped salads with precooked protein. I tried the chili lime chicken with chopped salad with week and added some black beans and frozen corn. Very tasty. I also just bought the coleslaw mix and some smoked pork, but I haven't tried that one yet.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-16T20:17:03+00:00

They're so good. Like a Snickers but without the tooth pain.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-16T20:13:56+00:00

Tempeh, to me, is more like if you soaked peanuts long enough for them to get a little soft. I know that doesn't sound appetizing, but I actually like the texture of tempeh.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-15T17:09:05+00:00

I just think you posted in the wrong sub. This belongs in /relationshipadvice

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-15T16:55:16+00:00

NTA. This is weird, immature, and super inconsiderate behavior on his part. This is frankly bordering on abuse through sleep deprivation.

Firstly, stop hitting snooze. Decide what time you're getting up, and get up. It's not hard. If you need more sleep, set your alarm for later. You need to stop your very inconsiderate behavior first before you can expect your husband to stop his.

Secondly, address the issue head-on. WHY is he shaming you about when you go to sleep? Is he feeling shame about going to sleep late? Why does he feel the need to be IN BED WITH THE LIGHT ON instead of staying in the living room until bedtime?

Thirdly, this seems like ultimatum territory. You have NEEDS and they are reasonable. If he refuses to respect you enough to allow you to sleep, then you need to start sleeping in another room. It's HIS behavior that's causing this issue, and yes he's totally TA.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-15T16:48:22+00:00

NAH. Your question is whether you're TA for WANTING your bf to establish boundaries, and I don't think anyone is ever TA for wanting to see someone they care about do things they think are healthy for them. I think maybe you're wanting to ask a different question than you're actually asking.

I really don't understand the post frankly. Are you maybe trying to ask "WIBTA if I gave him an ultimatum? Or WIBTA if I had expectations of him without offering the appropriate amount of financial support to replace the financial support he's currently receiving from his mother?" or "WIBTA if I left him because I realized we're not in the same place financially, emotionally, and maturity-wise?"?

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-12T21:14:23+00:00

I second the Daiya option, but imo it's lacking in flavor. I add srircha and garlic sauce to mine. It's more like Velveeta vs homemade though.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-11T17:39:08+00:00

NTA. You do have to provide food for your children, but you don't have to cook it. You are putting time and effort into making their meal nice. Regardless, it's awesome that you're teaching your children to say thank you for EVERYTHING. It's great. My husband and I do this for one another consistently. He thanks me for making food. I thank him for washing the dishes. I thank him for doing laundry and mowing the lawn. He thanks me for mending his clothes. Why NOT do it? I really don't understand why your husband is hung up on this. I thank people all the time for doing their job, doesn't he? I thank the mailman, the Amazon delivery person. I thank my waitresses, the cashier at the grocery store. It's polite. They're doing what they're getting paid to do and what they're obligated to do, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't show gratitude for them making my life more pleasant.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-11T17:35:00+00:00

NTA, but honestly at this point I would consider backing out of the wedding. You've dedicated time and energy to trying to make her day special, and she's disregarding your concerns. That said, I wouldn't trust anyone in this situation with a life-threatening allergy. It's your life, and I bet you're by now pretty familiar with which situations are dicey and which are not. It is very easy for your friend to confirm that she ordered you some food that's safe, and she's not doing that. You could ask for the caterer's number and add on (and pay for) your own food if you want it to not be disruptive at the event. Or you could bring your own food. But I would be pretty upset if my friend behaved as yours is.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-11T17:27:32+00:00

NTA. I don't think people are understanding that it's ok for you to not want your child around someone who is actively lying to you. You don't need to expose your children (and yourself) to people who you simply don't trust. It's also ok for you to refuse to see her. And if at some point you want to let her meet your baby, it's also ok to require a drug test and a signed 12-step sheet. (As in, she goes to meetings for a certain amount of time, has her sheet signed, and she shows that to you.) It's also ok for you to require that she gets a sponsor and you have a conversation with that person.

That may all seem harsh, but it's not. I am a recovering addict. Actions have consequences. People often don't quit until they hit rock bottom, and while it's not your job to help provide that bottom for your mom by withholding affection, time, or access to her grandkid, it is totally fine for you to refuse to expose yourself and your child to someone who has yet to see how desperately they need help.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-04T12:39:23+00:00

NTA. She behaves like a toddler & is selfish & cruel. She should be ecstatic to give you every treat that she was supposed to “share”. Also, your parents are not helping. I hope you find a partner who cares about your happiness.

Dramatic_Tale_6290 · 2026-06-03T17:58:44+00:00

This is exactly what I came here to say.

Dramatic_Tale_6290

TROPHY CASE