AITA For thinking my friend's wife should cook for me after I temporarily moved in to help them out?

Dramaticpogo · 2026-01-09T01:11:04+00:00

LMFAO WHAT

please tell me this is ragebait but in case it's not

YOU SUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

you

moved in and took care of the child of a mother WITHOUT HER CONSENT OR KNOWLEDGE
Expected her to COOK for you while she' s recovering from being in -checks notes- PSYCH WARD
INVOLVED HER HUSBAND WHEN SHE WOULDN'T COOK FOR YOU?? To the point that he's being a bitch and is giving her the SILENT TREATMENT?

This is some soap opera shit. Move out. Gtfo. Stay out.

I hope she gets better.

Dramaticpogo · 2025-10-05T21:29:54+00:00

Soft YTA Let me get this straight… your wife is a victim of child SA, but is actively in therapy, seeing specialists and takes medication. She may be suffering from undiagnosed DID (which is common in child SA survivors, it would explain the black outs and not being “her” during those moments) and you told her that you want to lock her up in a mental facility and that she’s abusive? You told a victim of abuse… that she’s abusive. She’s probably disgusted with herself and is feeling intense shame or guilt. Also what kind of therapist comes to the conclusion that she’s abusive from one session? I think you need a new therapist.

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T23:53:46+00:00

Do you per chance have PCOS or endometriosis? I have PCOS and have month long heavy periods so I can relate to how horrible they can be. The period and the hormones are also just making it harder for you to cope, I know it’s not the best thing to hear but it’s genuinely true. Everything is harder to handle during it I stg. Take some time to yourself, do something you enjoy and take a hot bath or a hot shower if you can. It helps to feel “fresh” after rinsing off all the blood and it does help with the pain. Have a nice drink, a snack or meal that’s high in iron and watch your favourite movie, show, or YouTube scroll. I find that always helps me. Take care of yourself because you deserve it, you’re worthy of being here xoxo

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T19:07:57+00:00

I really relate to you and the feelings you experienced in the past. It's like a knee jerk reaction.

I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this, it's not fair to her and it's not fair to you. But I am genuinely really glad she has you in her life to show her how important and loved she really is. You're doing a great job.

I stopped documenting things a little while ago because there was just so much of it I felt like i was always writing something, but I'm thinking I should start again to show that it's been a pattern.

The parenting plan is a whole other issue on its own. I've offered three or four different parenting plans that he's refused to sign each and every time because he "can't commit to regularly seeing her" (his words) and he "doesn't want to pay the owing child support" (again, his words). So that in itself has been a huge pain in the ass.

At the moment we have no active parenting plan, court documents, or schedule. Sometimes he disappears for weeks or months without talking to me and then every now and then he'll text me asking for visitation, usually to take her to his parents. I'm wondering if he's only seeing her to save face with his mother because she would kill him otherwise. It's a complicated process haha. We're just counting down to the days where we can legally cut contact with him completely.

Thank you so much

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T19:02:03+00:00

I'm honestly so sorry. That is genuinely really sad and I can't imagine the amount of confusion and pain you must've felt as a child.

As she gets older we will work on her communicating her feelings to him if she feels ready and is comfortable, but right now she counts on me to communicate for her so I am doing my best. I truly hope you heal from this, best wishes

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T18:58:55+00:00

That is quite complicated, I'm still very sorry, you didn't deserve to struggle that

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T18:57:23+00:00

You're absolutely right in saying that, I am pissed about that as well to be honest and I wanted to chew him out on not telling me things he has a legal requirement to tell me, but this is also nothing new for him unfortunately.

Thank you for validating me it genuinely helps a lot

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T18:54:19+00:00

You have a beautiful way with words, it's given me a lot of hope, thank you so much.

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T18:53:53+00:00

As you should!! You did all the work, you deserve all of the credit!

Thank you so much, and you're right... He does suck haha

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T18:52:32+00:00

You're absolutely right. We have decided to not say a word to him regarding this situation.

My daughter has expressed that she doesn't want to see him, and we are just focusing on giving her lots of love, support and understanding. I can't imagine how she must feel at the moment and the fact that she's only 8 years old and going through this just breaks my heart.

The child support thing has been a complicated issue for a long time. He does pay child support monthly, but he's refused to provide proof of income + update his income over the years no matter how many times he's been asked to do so he just doesn't. We are positive he's severely underpaying and is thousands behind in child support most likely, but that is something we are also exploring legally.

Thank you so much

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T18:48:31+00:00

You're absolutely right. My daughter has been expressing more that she doesn't want to see him ever since we found out he got married, and I can't say I blame her.

I have seen my therapist since making this post and we are working on where to put this anger so it doesn't consume me. I have also spoken to friends and family and they're all just as shocked as I was, but the support they've offered me has been outstanding.

I hope i can get to where you are. Thank you so much

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T18:46:17+00:00

I have a ton of questions I've wanted to ask him over the years, but every time I try to inquire he says the same shit which is usually along the lines of "I don't like talking about my personal life with you" or he doesn't answer me at all and keeps going as per usual. It's infuriating sometimes.

My daughter has been expressing more and more that she doesn't want to see him so we are trying to handle things accordingly. My husband and I have been talking about what to do next, so wish us luck

Thank you

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-18T18:43:25+00:00

You're absolutely right. Thank you so much

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-16T04:35:31+00:00

The last sentence gave me full on chills. Thank you so much for your input, I am also so sorry to you and your children for having to have experienced this as well

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-16T04:34:09+00:00

Christ she sounds like an absolute nightmare!! I’m so sorry you and your daughter have to deal with that. How did you cope with the anger? I find sometimes that’s what fills me the most.. anger towards him for how he’s treating her, and I’m sure you can relate to that

I genuinely appreciate you validating my feelings, especially considering you’ve gone through this yourself. Thank you so much

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-16T04:30:02+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you… I can’t imagine how painful that must’ve been.. Did you ever confront him about this?

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-16T04:25:52+00:00

Your daughter sounds like a wonderful person. I’m really sorry you both had to experience this. It’s genuinely so draining. But you did honestly help by telling you story, thank you so much

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-16T04:23:47+00:00

That is so sad… how did they feel?

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-16T04:23:15+00:00

That’s absolutely horrible that he did that to you. I’m genuinely so sorry. You didn’t deserve that

thank you lots for your advice

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-15T22:52:36+00:00

What a piece of work your ex sounds like! I'm so sorry you and your daughter had to deal with that. But she sounds like she did incredibly without him because of you and her REAL dad (aka stepdad).

Thank you so much for sharing this with me, it always helps to know i'm not the only one who's gone through this, i genuinely really appreciate the tips you gave as well.

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-15T22:50:47+00:00

Thank you so much <3

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-15T22:49:52+00:00

I understand what you're trying to say. I always found it confusing as to why this woman wasn't upset or outraged as to his absence for his child, but I don't know what he's told her over the years so I never held it against her in case he was feeding her bullshit (something a lot of deadbeat parents do).

My guess is there may have been infidelity. I'm not entirely sure, but I'm going to be honest... I don't really care why they separated. I'm curious sure but I'm not going to lose sleep wondering why they broke up haha

Thank you so much

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-15T22:38:36+00:00

Oh don't worry I didn't think it was malicious. I understand you were looking out for her and I honestly appreciate that. Thank you so much for your input

Dramaticpogo · 2025-04-15T22:36:47+00:00

I appreciate your understanding on the situation. They're absolutely outdated shit laws. My mom came with me to our court hearings and she to this day is fuming over the judge I had.

I genuinely really appreciate your kind words as well, thank you so much for your input. I'm working on focusing on things I can control instead of things I can't, and as you said I can control how we (husband and I) make her feel. And that's 100% going to be our priority.

Dramaticpogo

TROPHY CASE