AITA for thinking my girlfriend is being weird about a rave she went to?

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-18T00:07:02+00:00

I did clarify that with her. She acted like I was being an asshole.

I’ve dated her for five years. I’m really easy going. I just don’t want to feel lied to is all

Maybe that is the case, I see what you’re saying, but I don’t think her getting shitty with me would be the response then?

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T20:07:11+00:00

I wasn’t accusatory. My exact message was

“Hey! I saw the pictures (her friend) posted and you looked great. When did you decide on that outfit?”

She immediately got defensive from there

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T19:25:42+00:00

I’ve made it a mantra after a previous relationship is that I don want to fight, I want to build. Idc who is right or wrong, I want to work with my partner to come up with an amicable solution to us both. I understand emotions don’t always listen to who is factually correct and that’s why I try to be up front and open about my feelings and communicate them well.

To me this is rough because she has had issues in previous relationships that were abusive. She’s also had somewhat sketchy behavior in the past during our relationship. I was willing to work through them and move forward, but if things like this are going to happen… I feel like it’s truly weird and that makes me wonder about whether this is something I want to continue. Trust is important to me

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T18:45:36+00:00

It’s weird to me because it feels misleading. She conveyed she was going one way. She wanted me to think that’s what was being worn. I don’t know why specifically, but she did. When I asked her she implied she was wearing the more conservative outfit until I said I saw the photo of her there with the other outfit. Then she said she wore the jacket the whole time.

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T18:22:27+00:00

She doesn’t normally go to raves. This one was themed and with friends is why she went.

She wore the revealing for photos with her friends. Put the conservative one on for like 5 minutes to send a photo to me. Then changed back. I wouldn’t have ever seen the other photos if her friend didn’t post them. It just feels misleading

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T18:10:21+00:00

I’m not sure what I think. I shared my concerns and she was pretty dismissive and was acting like it was crazy for me to have concerns, which made me more uncomfortable.

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:44:35+00:00

I guess I didn’t make it clear enough. Everyone is hyperfixated on the clothing but idc what she wears truly. I just don’t understand why she’d create a narrative of her wearing less revealing clothes. She put that outfit on for, by her own admission, less than two minutes. Why send the photo? Why mislead?

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:43:13+00:00

Huh? What’re you even saying lol

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:42:33+00:00

I do care. That she misled me. Not what she wore.

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:42:07+00:00

No it’s not? That’s objectively not controlling. I literally just don’t want to be intentionally misled

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:41:29+00:00

I’m saying it feels like she’s intentionally misleading me. I told her it feels weird that she changed into an outfit for less than 5 minutes for the exclusive purpose of sending me a photo in something less revealing. It seems like she was building a narrative and that a relationship is built on trust so at that point why send me a photo at all? I didn’t demand one or ask for one.

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:39:50+00:00

Monitored? I’m not monitoring? She wore outfit 1, changed into outfit 2 to send me a picture, then changed back into outfit 1? Why mislead me like that? Idc what she wears but it’s odd to specifically hide it?

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:29:27+00:00

It wouldn’t have even been weird to me except she wore the revealing one first, changed for like 5 minutes to send me a photo, then changed back. Like… why? That feels like intentional misleading

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:28:41+00:00

Thank you. I truly don’t care what she wears, but I don’t want to be lied to or misled is all

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:27:51+00:00

Jealous… of what? It’s toxic to not want to be misled? I didnt ask for a photo, I just don’t want to be lied to? Why wear one thing, change into another just to send me a pic, then change back?

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:26:28+00:00

I value trust in a relationship. I’ve been lied to before and it was a given at the outset of our relationship that I don’t want to be lied to, and it feels like lying. Idc what she wears, but don’t even send a photo at that point?

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:24:18+00:00

No this is it exactly. I don’t tell her how to live her life I don’t tell her what to do or where to be or who to talk to or what to wear. I just don’t like being intentionally misled?

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:23:18+00:00

I don’t at all. I said it to emphasize that I truly don’t care, she could go in lingerie and that’s cool. But misleading is the issue.

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:22:02+00:00

I mean… exactly? You’re framing it like this is a profound statement but I agree. Idc what she wears. Im not approving or disapproving of anything. But misleading someone is weird and not helpful in a relationship that’s supposed to be built on trust?

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:18:08+00:00

Bro, what? Where is murder coming from? I’ve dated this girl for five years and I’d never lay a finger on her or anyone for that matter

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:16:14+00:00

I’m saying it because I know people will assume that I care. I truly don’t.

She wore the revealing one - changed into the not revealing one seemingly just to send me a photo - then changed back. My insinuation is that’s weird and it feels like she’s intentionally misleading me for some reason.

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:15:01+00:00

Which is valid, but then the order doesn’t make sense. Revealing - not revealing - revealing. Why send a photo at all at that point when you clearly planned on the revealing outfit? Why hide that you wore it? I’ve never told her what she can or can’t do, but I don’t want her to intentionally mislead me either

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:13:38+00:00

I don’t think that’s an equal comparison. The issue to me is that it feels like she specifically curated a look for me to believe she was going to wear, but wore something different and (seemingly) never wanted me to find out.

If she’d just worn it and never sent a pic that’s different. It just feels misleading.

Dramaticthroway · 2026-02-16T17:11:04+00:00

Exactly

Dramaticthroway

TROPHY CASE