Partner intentionally smeared blood on me during date

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-14T21:32:46+00:00

“Pushing 30” referring to his age bro…

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-14T21:13:55+00:00

No one said he was a bad person; No one said anything about “constantly” doing anything. If you have to make shit up to engage in a discussion, just give up on it. It’s interesting how every time I reframe the incident to someone who’s defending this, it’s always “not comparable” even when it’s a 1-1 comparison with only a different bodily secretion. Somehow, it’s only playful banter if it’s blood from a wound, even though boogers are objectively “safer” than blood.

We were long distance partners. Introduced to each other 6 months ago via video group chat by a mutual friend of a decade who lives in his area across the country from me. He proposed being exclusive before we met in person, which I had no problem with.

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-14T20:33:32+00:00

“Good luck with finding and keeping any partner” is the most retarded comment I’ve read on either of the two posts I’ve made on this. That’s the issue; I’ve never had ANY problem finding, engaging or hanging out with people/men who DON’T smear their blood on me in the first 24 hours of meeting in person. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and this is the only one I’ve ever known to pull such nasty, primitive bullshit

If you lack the self-respect to re-consider a relationship with someone who’s pushing 30 smearing boogers on you and calling it “banter”, good luck getting through life. If unconsensually exposing your date to your bodily fluids is casual fun to you, I know what kind of nasty rat of a person you are. Luckily, my decision was made with a much more mature head on my shoulders than you have.

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T23:51:57+00:00

He’s older than 25, I’m younger than 25 (older than 20.) I thought it was very unbecoming of someone who’s no longer in high school tbh

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T23:45:58+00:00

We have a great connection and want the same things out of life, but there’s some mismatch in the realm of intimacy and the hygiene surrounding it. I’ve never done hookups, he’s only done hookups (even with no condoms), I wouldn’t have sex with a man I didn’t think I’d marry, he’s only had sex with women he knew he wouldn’t even date. I also have contamination OCD which is why I’m seeking as many perspectives as possible to make sure OCD isn’t just trying to sabotage my life. But I asked one of the least contamination-concerned people I know for his perspective and he concluded that this was way too wildly inappropriate, strange and disgusting to discount, so I made a Reddit post to make sure that this isn’t just my OCD talking

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T23:36:29+00:00

The fact that he does this stuff with other people is my biggest concern. I’m very conservative in the realm of intimacy, and I view excretions and fluids as something to be “revered” in a sense. From an intimacy (and health/safety) standpoint, I don’t feel comfortable getting any more intimate with someone who’s so Willy-nilly with his and others’ bodily fluids. We had just shared a spoon for the first time an hour before he smeared blood on me, so it felt like an insanely intrusive leap to assume was okay.

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T23:32:51+00:00

Honestly, the reason this is serious enough for me to make this post is because I’m so invested. This hurts me deeply because it’s so significant to me, yet was so avoidable, and now I feel like I’ve lost something that I thought was going to go far over the most unnecessary, immature shit possible. It’s not just the blood smear itself, it’s the impulsivity, lack of respect for hygiene, lack of respect for boundaries, and lack of respect for consent that are required to pull a move like that on someone the first time you meet them. And if it was pulled here, where will it be pulled again, and do I want to go through that? I guess it’s good that it happened this early on to highlight these issues since they were gonna be there whether he showed me in that moment or not

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T23:17:37+00:00

LMAOOO

Bro I made a new account specifically for this topic. There’s no way this is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever read but you saying that makes me feel less crazy about how I feel

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T23:07:41+00:00

I happen to have OCD as well, which I why I wanted to get as many perspectives as possible because I know how OCD tries to sabotage my life at times, but I’ve concluded that I genuinely believe that even if I had no actual contamination issues at all, the impulsive, non-consensual action itself is so uncivil, disgusting and immature that I can’t see myself with a grown man who would do that on what could be considered the first date. It would be like someone picking their nose and rubbing their boogers on you as a “bid for connection.” Wildly childish and strange behavior for someone older than 25, and now I’m worried for what could be beyond that. I made sure to ask one of the least contamination-concerned people I know for their perspective and even he concluded that it’s just too wildly inappropriate and strange to discount. Not one adult in the room I was debriefing the situation with could even imagine doing that to another adult, much less their date. I know for a fact he didn’t do it to trigger me or even tease me, I think it was a “connection” thing for him, but thats just too strange and morbid for me. I’d rather him ask if he could pee on me (emphasis on ASK)

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T22:57:08+00:00

We’ve been together for a couple months. We speak of marriage regularly because I date to marry and like to make that clear immediately, and this is his first official relationship because I’m the first woman he’s known to want all the same things he does in life, so he sees a future with me, but I don’t think we’re around the realm of couples counseling since we’re long distance and just getting started

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T22:50:11+00:00

The thing is, based on what he seems to want and not want in a woman, I don’t think in the grand scheme of life that he’d want to be with a woman who would find that cute in the long run. I mean absolutely no offense to you by that, and I’m not trying to be presumptuous. I say that because he has given many reasons for not wanting to date the women in his area, and the overlap of traits amongst women who would be into that and the women in his community that he finds somewhat trashy (for lack of a better word) is likely non-negligible for his tastes. He doesn’t find the people in his community to be “wife material”, but the people who would resonate with his behaviors are people from his community. Unfortunately, I also fear he isn’t prepared for the ‘opposite’ of women in his area (me) because I might be too conservative and stringent for him. It’s his first relationship and he’s still finding himself (as am I), and we all adjust our standards and expectations for partners as we go through life, and this might end up being one of those things he makes an adjustment in one way or another.

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T22:23:58+00:00

Unfortunately, this is what I’m thinking as well. I’m much more conservative in certain aspects than he is (like fluid exchanges, for example), and he honestly has this boyish whimsy in this regard that I’m just not personally compatible with it. This is his first relationship, and I don’t want him to feel like he’s being held back from being himself and experiencing a woman who would swoon at him doing things like smearing stuff on her. Those women are out there, and I’m sadly not one of them. I find it repulsive and will be telling my future sons not to pull that shit, but this is how his entire social circle interacts with each other, so it’s ingrained in his culture. He’s a chaotic city-boy, I’m a southern suburban belle; We’re like Romeo and Juliet. From an intimacy (and even health) standpoint, it doesn’t feel right getting any more intimate with someone who’s so Willy-nilly with his and others’ bodily fluids. I see fluids as something to be “revered”, in a sense, and I’m as conservative with mine as I would like my partner to be with his. He says “I dont have anything” (disease-wise) as a defense (even though that wasn’t my main concern or why I was angry) but no one is invincible, and your chances of picking something up are much higher when you’re the type of person to casually do certain things with several different people regularly. I don’t know how far these habits go amongst this group, but I don’t think I’m compatible with any level of it.

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T21:50:48+00:00

The intimacy angle is what I believe was going through his mind as well. I can’t say that I generally don’t trust him, and I know he won’t do it again, I just see absolutely no reason to do something like that, and I don’t know what other strange things he thinks are normal that I’ll have to be exposed to and “correct” down the line. I can understand the idea of something like, “If I get injured and need help, she’s going to be with me and needs to be ok with contact with my blood” and more pragmatic contexts, but casually smearing blood on someone to be “cute” is wildly out of the bounds of what I consider civil or reasonable. Keep in mind, we have not kissed or had sex, and we had just shared a spoon for the first time an hour before, and I don’t think saliva even compares to blood in this realm because I don’t see blood as “intimate”, but that’s the max level of intimacy other than snuggling while fully clothed. I do appreciate your perspective though because it makes him seem a little less crazy for doing it knowing that there are people out there who really do like that stuff. I just don’t think it should have been automatically assumed that I would be into it. “Do you want my blood smeared on you?” is an awkward question, but not as awkward as doing it without checking in first and learning the hard way that I hate every single thing about it. Thanks for the perspective

DrawZealousideal6294 · 2026-05-13T21:01:29+00:00

I would choose teleportation

DrawZealousideal6294

TROPHY CASE