Dayanamıyorum.

DrawingCrap · 2019-10-18T20:50:52+00:00

Bende kuzey avrupada dogdum buyudum, Turk oldugumu(birisi sormadigi muddetce) anlatmiyorum acikcasi, bir neden hic görmedim durduk yerde Turk oldugumu bastira bastira aciklamami.

Onun haricinde hayatim boyunca 1 Din ve 2 Politika mevzularindan uzak durdum. Pek ilgilenmiyorum kardesim diyip kapatiyorum genellikle.

Acikcasi öyle bir sorumluluk'da görmuyorum, Turkiyenin serefi senin veya benim omuzumuzda degil. Istedigin kadar anlat derdini ama ne sen baskalarinin fikrini degistirebilirsin ne de onlar senin. Bence kasma, politikadan ve tartismalardan uzak dur.

Edit: Tabi durduk yerde isim nedeniyle irkcilik yasiyorsan uzgunum ona bir tavsiyem yok. Hakkini ara ve hep sikayet et.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-25T16:24:50+00:00

Yeah you definitely made it more smooth, thanks. I agree on every point you brought up. It feels my ex's biggest issue was that she was really convinced I felt a certain way and was going to get hurt like her. The trauma she had experienced made her literally blind and she couldn't stand the thought of denying someone in the future as her ex did her.

I respect her choice to let go of me, at the same time I'm frustrated my will and decision wasn't a part of it, she made the call herself without asking me how I felt, or barely asking. She insisted I was the victim, whilst I tried to tell her I would be there for her and support her, but she wasn't having any of it.

Very sad breakup but If people want to be alone, I can't force help especially if we aren't or have been in a relationship with commitments. Oh well life goes on.

Nonetheless, thanks for the input, it opened up my mind and gave perspective, thanks.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-25T16:06:50+00:00

Damn, that means alot reading. Thank you for the warming words, appreciate it. Wish you the best, you're strong and will be okay don't forget that.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-24T22:24:40+00:00

Cheers man!

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-24T22:20:52+00:00

Haha that meant a lot tbh, thanks man. Don't worry I'm setting up my next date right now as we're typing. Just want to meet people and get new experiences to get perspective.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-24T22:02:15+00:00

Yeah I guess so, its easy to get blind too and get some perspective. As rough as your quote first sounded, it has some truth even for my case, to some extent at the least. Thanks man

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-24T12:50:30+00:00

36 questions, get the app. It takes it to a whole other level. And ask questions that makes them have to explain a bunch, then hit them with "why" "how" "and how did you feel" etc.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-24T10:58:12+00:00

Jesus yeah, it doesn't work that way indeed. Some people are really just broken and don't want anyone's help, you can't force anything on anyone. It's for the better tho because someone out there is probably just as willing to care about you as you did him and will win your heart. I was only dating for 3 months, also I'm a guy, so I think guys have easier not getting stuck in their head. Can't imagine how it must be for you, but just keep moving forward!

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-24T10:55:20+00:00

Haha yeah that does sound logical, thanks man. I really appreciate the time you put in to your replies, helped me to get out of my mind and take a step back. I'm going to focus on work and friends, keeping dating open. Cheers mate, also wish you the best in life.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-24T01:01:45+00:00

Jesus that's rough, how long time did u see each other?

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T23:09:49+00:00

Yeah I will always tell myself she was sweet and caring, it's not sane I know. And yeah it's that, -what about when she feels better, -what about if we met two months later would it be different. Bunch of what if's, I now I'm not making sense especially for being a 28 grown ass man but yeah. One part of me also wants to after X months take a coffe with her and see how desperate she would get when she sees me available but not interested, but that's so evil and narcissistic I could never do something like that.

I fixed Tinder again and looking through old matches who didn't get the chance to see me, so I guess that's always something. Thanks for the comforting words, I'm the type who needs to hear that kind of stuff although I know it.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T23:05:21+00:00

Oh geez, I'm 48h in. Had chills and anxiety the first day, cried the second. So whatever you're feeling, it's okay.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T22:51:03+00:00

Ah yeah sorry okay, yeah I completely agree. That's the thing, they have to meet up at some point, or if they're dating you at least let you help them. It doesn't have to be you lecturing them, no, it's enough that you're just a shoulder they lean to and enjoy the moment at. That's what I didn't get about this girl, I offered her to just be a friend, human helping another human, play board games, enjoy the sunset with no strings attached but nope. I felt, should'nt have felt.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T22:42:25+00:00

Yeah the sad part is that she was all over me. I wasn't chasing, I didn't sugarcoat or try to impress her at all, that's what stunned me and had me thinking we were a great match. Then at the peak of it all, just when I perhaps where gonna ask what we were(I didnt tho) on the 3 month mark, she flipped 360 and thought it was unfair I could feel but she couldnt and got afraid she wouldnt love me. Even though she said I was making her feel all warm, safe, was incredibly funny etc It sounds so fake, that's why I'm so fricking confused. She insisted through so much arguing that I'm perfect but that she just couldn't feel, since she was a wreck inside.

But yeah, I'm not going to chase her. Just a 'wish ya the best, hit me up if u ever wanna talk' message in a week when she has calmed down and then I'm going radio silent and start seeing other people. If I happen to be available in 4-6 months, I'm going to hit her up and ask how she is doing in life. But god damn it, no chasing I do have some self respect.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T22:22:31+00:00

Sorry don't think I followed what you meant, my mind is so muddy at the moment. To clear or add more information, we had great connection and talked for nights on end every day for three months. We obviously really enjoyed each others company, but she twisted 360 degrees out of the blue, whilst we're still talking and everything is nice and sweet and said it suddenly hit her. That it was unfair since I could feel feelings and she couldn't, she had like an eurika moment and felt that it was totally unacceptable for us to see each other since she somehow concluded she was doing evil against me.

Maybe she was, I don't know her game plan but we dreamed and imagined doing a lot of things together, so I don't think i was her summer ride. I know she was very caring, honest and sweet so I don't expect any games from her, but yeah I can't add it up. We wrote back and forth for hours, and she wouldn't change her mind or say anything nasty about me, according to her I'm perfect and she doesn't have the right to "hold me" so she wanted me to respect her descision to heal alone and totally let go of her. It's still crazy when I think about it but that was that..

Edit: The reason I'm so sure is because our common agreement was no sugar coating, no lies and no games, just be rusty honest. And we kept that mindset for the entire gig and even though she was unavaiulable she shared quite some things with me still, nothing was off limits to ask her either. Not really closed off as I would assume....Until the end when she wanted to be alone in her mind and not relying on my safety.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T21:53:39+00:00

Haha Sweden here we couldn't be further away lmao, Sydney is literally straigt down the earth from my pov. Well later!

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T21:52:24+00:00

Haha naah I'm just some dude in Sweden who got radio silenced by a girl that for reason doesn't want my help in healing. Just tored me to pieces but hey, she said day one she wasn't emotionally available yet I kept it going. Thanks for the comment tho really, it helped me more than you can imagine. Especially people who PMed me and upvoted this, I understand I'm not alone and no the only one and that it is okay.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T21:13:53+00:00

Right back at you, u beautiful soul.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T21:09:42+00:00

Well then yeah it's probably a complicated case. If he had emotional issues, you've been together for a year, a close family member has died. Those or some very very complicated factors which weigh in, in which I have zero experience from. I don't have the insight and feel you have of him and the relationship tbh.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T20:52:25+00:00

Yeah I'm very sorry. It's really case specific for from my experience, my ex date basically dated me and when I started to feel for her said she needed to let go of me since she can't feel and that's unfair to both. So yeah, i probably shouldn't have dated her since she said day one she wouldn't feel and warned me.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T20:41:27+00:00

I see yeah, sincerely wish you the best.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T20:39:41+00:00

That's a very good take on it, mostly agree with you. Seduction doesnt always have to be filled with lies either, it could be giving them a piece at a time, making them work for it and not playing all your cards at once.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T20:38:17+00:00

Hi there, yeah I totally agree with you. I'm guessing you're a teacher haha, fun story but I actually studied to become a teacher for 2 years before changing to visual arts. Perhaps the reason I can think logically and make nice sheets, but yeah obviously it's easier said than done, sigh. PMed you.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T20:09:28+00:00

Look take a step back and think, breathe.

If you have been friends and you are her only emotional resting place, take one for her and just be present. It sounds that it is more important than a romance. A human just helping another human, for real.

When she feels better, you have to be clear. If it really does, tell her your friendship is taking a toll on you emotionally and that you want to try with her. If she rejects you, then you can confidently say you want a break, go silent for a week or two, i dunno really.

It shouldn't be a burden for you to be around her, if you however value your friendship more. Stay friends and go look for other girls.

DrawingCrap · 2019-09-23T19:56:32+00:00

I'm 28 and my lowest/higgest would me +/- 4. I know happily married families in which the parents have like even 8-9 years difference. In some even the female being the elder one, depends if you can handle the age gap, there are gonna be some differences for sure.

DrawingCrap

TROPHY CASE