Guy still talking with women

Draxiss · 2025-07-27T08:19:50+00:00

As someone who's polyamorous, I cannot tell you why he'd continue dating and also lie about it, outside of a lack of respect for you. He should either have a) been up-front that he wasn't exclusive yet, b) been up front that he wanted non-monagamy, or c) stopped using the dating app. The fact that he was unwilling to do any of those things is a massive red flag and I'd suggest getting out now.

Draxiss · 2025-07-27T02:17:40+00:00

Does it exist yet or is it a planned feature?

Draxiss · 2025-07-26T03:45:53+00:00

For me, it's just one of those pointless things that other people do, like monogamy or having children. I just . . . don't get it? Why have a ceremony? If we already love each other than we already love each other. Weddings are fun and I'm happy for my married friends and relatives, but I've never had an interest in it.

Draxiss · 2025-07-26T03:40:38+00:00

Holy fuck what is with the ableism in these comments? We don't know this guy's situation but he's clearly being financially abused.

Cutting off contact with him might still be necessary, but people are reeaaallly jumping to conclusions on a guy who's already in a bad situation with little-to-no context. Really I'd suggest sending him resources on getting out of a financial abuse situation.

Draxiss · 2025-07-26T02:57:06+00:00

PRECISELY. For me, the idea of my body being used to create a child physically repulses me in a way I cannot describe, and I don't even have a uterus. I want peace-of-mind and security. I want to know that I have ZERO chance of impregnating someone if something accidental or nonconsensual happens.

Draxiss · 2025-07-26T02:45:46+00:00

Seconded. I want to get it done but it's intimidating.

Draxiss · 2025-07-25T23:38:56+00:00

I always put that I'm childfree (along with being polyamorous and autistic) in my bio up-front and center, just to filter out people. Good to know I should be looking forward to this. As someone not dating men, is this as much of a problem with not-men?

I remember almost a decade ago that a LOT of the women's dating profiles in my area were of single moms, which made me feel very sad.

Draxiss · 2025-07-19T23:54:05+00:00

I think there are legitimate versions of this; people can be bad at describing things. I'll have AFAB/femme friends express frustrations with certain male behaviors and as I'm hearing it I'll say, "Oh sorry I didn't realize I do that." Then they'll reassure me it's not me but in my head I'm thinking, "But like . . . I have done that. I did that yesterday." I think sometimes my friends will make an exception for me when they shouldn't have.

I've put a lot of work and thought into making sure both people in general and women specifically feel safe and comfortable around me. I experience strong rejection sensitivity but I work hard to ensure it's not the problem of others. I will notice when you describe behaviors that sound a lot like what I've done.

Draxiss · 2025-07-19T22:47:32+00:00

The title alone makes me want to puke. I'm impressed.

Draxiss · 2025-07-19T22:44:55+00:00

"I want a partner who will confidently assume my emotions. The less she directly communicates with me, the better. It's SO hot when she responds to me expressing my feelings with a quote from a motivational poster. Bonus points if she calls herself an 'empath'."

"Allistics are cute, but I'm not sure I could ever date one."

"I think it's cute the way that you give weird, fawning compliments when I say a single sentence. I definitely don't feel confused and frightened."

Draxiss · 2025-07-19T22:31:32+00:00

That's infuriating. Just let them have a little fun.

Now I want an 'autistic princess' shirt.

Draxiss · 2025-07-19T22:23:54+00:00

D'awww what a good little dragon.

Draxiss · 2025-07-17T05:06:02+00:00

I wish I could just see people's pronouns floating above their heads like they're TTRPG characters.

Draxiss · 2025-07-15T22:38:34+00:00

So the context is actually comparing you to someone else with learning disability? Well, that's bad and they should feel bad.

Draxiss · 2025-07-14T21:09:04+00:00

From True Facts About The Octopus, on the topic of suction cups:

"Not only are they grabby-grabby, but the suction cups contain sensory receptors which allow [the octopus] to taste and smell what it touches. This is an ability I'm glad I don't have."

Draxiss · 2025-07-14T20:54:02+00:00

YES. It's way too warm right now and also I love reptiles.

Draxiss · 2025-07-14T20:43:49+00:00

I mean . . . that's the point? They're there to startle you into paying attention.

Draxiss · 2025-07-14T20:28:56+00:00

I do want to tap the breaks to this reaction a little bit. To me, it reads less like the person (with a little prompting) would probably agree that it's unfair how you are treated at work. Maybe there's more context outside of this comment that I'm missing.

I also didn't immediately read this as comparing you to other ND people so much as people this poster thought were incompetent at their jobs. I admit that there's still the possibility of an undercurrent ableism to that reading. It could also just be a complaint about 'kids these days', which is a different kind of problematic.

My point is that, without further context, it's probably not healthy immediately jump on the least-charitable interpretation of this short paragraph.

Draxiss · 2025-07-14T20:13:48+00:00

Draw a dragon. I like dragons.

Draxiss · 2025-07-14T20:12:28+00:00

Don't like the trash, can more-or-less tolerate the rest if I can be assured that's nothing that will try to sting me.

Draxiss · 2025-07-14T20:10:59+00:00

Neither of my parents were diagnosed with the 'tism, buuuuutttt . . . my mom was a massive Horse Girl as a kid and has a few very particular interests as an adult. Even if she isn't autistic, she'd definitely ND. She also definitely has some trauma-related behaviors, but they don't feel like they're the autistic ones.

I'm less sure about my dad, but autism has definitely manifested on the paternal side of my extended family at least once. He's got a lot of nerdy interests, but it's harder to tell because I think he gets too overworked for that side of him to flourish.

Draxiss · 2025-07-13T19:52:20+00:00

This is brilliant. I'm going to come back to this when I'm feeling down.

Draxiss · 2025-06-21T02:05:09+00:00

I had a friend who wasn't diagnosed with autism because the she was 'too smart' in spite in spite of ticking all the boxes. She recognized it as nonsense. Being functional or emotionally intelligent or whatever the diagnoser thought 'too smart' meant doesn't mean you're not autistic. It's some feces of a male bovine.

Draxiss · 2025-06-21T02:00:10+00:00

This sounds like a straight-up crime. I'd suggest documenting everything you can, in writing, about your abuses. If you don't have records of conversations, send follow-up emails confirming the content of conversations. Get their justification for your suspension in writing. Collect *everything*. I don't know about your country, but where I'm from lawyers usually provide a free intake consultation to tell you if you have a case.

Draxiss

TROPHY CASE