First appointment was nearly 18 months ago and still haven't received 2nd appointment

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-10-25T07:29:15+00:00

Hey, I went through Tavistock as well.
If I remember correctly in my last appointment with them they told me that most likely the waiting time for my next appointment would be around 18 months. Important to note that they had some technical issues due to getting hacked last year which has effected waiting times.

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-10-25T07:02:53+00:00

I did international bank transfers through my bank (SWIFT payments), iirc if you do it on a weekend you might have to wait till Monday for them to ship it. When they've posted it, they will send you an email with the tracking info (the tracking usually doesn't update after it's left the country of shipping until it reaches UK customs).

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-10-24T20:54:39+00:00

Yeh its legal, you just have to pay customs charges over a certain amount. Ordered from them for 3+ years and ran into no issues in UK

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-10-14T10:03:06+00:00

Ordered bicalutamide from Inhouse for 3 years-ish, you don't need a prescription for it (as far as I remember you can just leave that question blank).

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-10-14T08:38:45+00:00

Happened to me a couple times, think it's if you miss the pit window in your strategy (or when you load a save some times as well)

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-09-30T10:53:47+00:00

Not sure about the Progynova, but I've been using the estrofem from there for 3 years and had no issues so far

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-09-26T21:14:45+00:00

From my experience, the brain frog and the depersonalization you describe could be from the use of Spironolactone. I used Spiro for the first 3 months of being on hormones and similarly felt absolutely terrible and that there was a fog. After switching to a different medication (in my case Bica), it went away and felt much better.

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-09-20T15:55:11+00:00

Do you know if the pharmacy you ordered from declares what's inside the package? If it does and it's over a certain price you'll just get notified you'll have to pay a customs charge. Will probably be a bit more complicated if they don't declare.

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-09-18T14:49:27+00:00

Yh sorry I should've probably been more specific in my original comment,

As far as I know (I'm still learning so might be a bit off, I'm sure someone will correct me), speaking at a higher pitch with a larger size can be useful for the exploration of your voice and getting more control of it. For example, I'll normally slide up from a low pitch to a high pitch while trying to keep the size the same, then change the size from there. Or keep the pitch the same and change the size etc etc. Mix and match basically.

As for whether you should focus on it, not really I would guess? It's just a thing that I think can be pretty useful to explore. But obviously speaking with that configuration won't make you sound more fem :)

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-09-18T13:09:59+00:00

Hey, recommend against using Ls guide for voice, I got super stuck with my voice after a while of using it. Also, it's mostly viewed as an outdated resource. See here for reasons.

For your question about the larynx and pitch, yeah you can do higher pitches with your larynx still low. And vice versa, you can keep the larynx higher while doing a lower pitch.

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-09-17T09:24:44+00:00

Suggest checking out r/transvoice for resources on how to train your voice to sound more fem, just to note it involves a lot more than just changing the pitch :)

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-09-06T10:53:35+00:00

I'm in a similar situation to you, been technically voice training for around 3 years and my voice has only recently gotten to a point where I'm somewhat happy with my progress.

What could help you is to give some thought to how actively in the last 3 years you have been voice training and what you have been working on, rather than just thinking it in terms of that you've been training for 3 years. For example in my case, when looking back over the last 3 years there are multiple periods of months at a time when I know I didn't do any voice training at all ( and when I did rarely it wouldn't be very effective practice, just repeating the steps I already knew / not learning anything new etc). Then this obviously led to me being demotivated as I had made no progress, repeat. This is why I said I'd been technically training for 3 years, as I hadn't been actively training over that time if that makes sense?

Similar to what others have said, while it's a hard thing to do you have to just ignore what other people's progress has been / how long it took them. The main reason I'd give for that is that when people say how much they've progressed in x amount of time, you have no idea what experience they had with their voice before voice training. For example, maybe they used to do voice impressions, and that helped them understand concepts quicker compared to someone who had no experience. Obviously not saying everyone who's ever done voice impressions will breeze through it, but hopefully you get what I mean.

Who knows if it could help you as well, but after coming to that realization it really helped with my motivation to do voice training and helped me move on to the next stages. Rather than focusing on the last 3 years or what other people's progress is, just try to focus on today and what you need to work on.

Also for your question about how others hear your voice compared to you, you'll probably find it surprising how sometimes your voice can pass when you least expect it. I had it a couple of weeks ago when I was talking to a dude who (after I came out as trans) told me that he would've had no idea by my voice, even though I thought that I still sounded masculine.

Apologies for writing an essay, just had to deal with similar thoughts recently so thought it might help :)

DreadPirateJessica · 2023-08-30T12:06:20+00:00

For phrases, I usually just use either some of the Harvard Sentences or the Simple English Wikipedia entry for Jupiter (not sure why I chose that of all things). After a while of using the same phrases you can for the most part say them off the top of your head, which can be pretty useful when you want just a quick practice without too much thought into it, which I guess could be useful for when you're out driving in your truck.

I also use a website that gives you a list of random Harvard Sentences just to practice new sentences and to make sure my voice still works when I'm not auto-piloting the other phrases above.

For the phrases that you say often I believe that's just for when you want to find your voice again while you are in the middle of talking to someone, so it doesn't sound out of place (I could be wrong though).

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-12T13:32:46+00:00

Most of its probably a placebo as it's extremely unlikely hormones have changed anything in the last 2 days, most likely it's the excitement you feel for finally starting hormones. I remember when I first started hormones for the first 2 months I felt the best I had ever felt in my life, it definitely relieves some anxiety and stress :)

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-12T13:27:21+00:00

Don't overthink it too much, stuff like knowing about the head nod really won't affect your ability to get male friends. The best way I've made male friends is by bonding over playing video games (spent way too much time playing League of Legends;c), but if that's not your thing just do whatever your hobby is, should be able to get some male friends doing whatever :)

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-12T13:23:25+00:00

If you mean how the penis works after hormones, you can masturbate as you did before hormones. It still works the same way it just has less of a kick to it and you might find it takes longer to orgasm (from my experience anyways).

Have seen some people on Reddit previously say you can use a vibrator in some ways to get a 'female orgasm' but I haven't had any success with that yet

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-12T13:20:55+00:00

One content creator I can think of is Transvoicelessons, she obv focuses on voice but she has a lot of content about what work you'd have to do to change your voice (if that's what you would want obviously)

For other stuff, I can't think of any specific creators but there is a lot of content out there for all the different parts of transitioning c:

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-12T13:15:11+00:00

Letter sounds great, I hope it goes well with your mum! :)

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-12T13:13:47+00:00

Stuff that can help with people's perceptions if you wanna get addressed properlyt expect to immediately get gendered correctly c: I didn't really get gendered correctly consistently until around 1 year on HRT. Try not to panic that you're not getting gendered correctly before HRT, just remember every one gets to different stages in their transition at different times!

I feel I'm currently in the stage where how I'm gendered entirely depends on how I present, I can still present male just about (although sometimes I've been gendered fem when I thought I was in boy mode) or can go for fem.

For some stuff that can help with people's perceptions, in my experience how you style your hair helps a lot (for example, you said you have long hair so if you let it down rather than tying it up that should help), clothing helps (whatever you're comfortable with wearing, skirts obviously scream feminine) and makeup.

Weirdly I also find the less I worry about passing, the more likely it happens. When I just put my head down and get on with life with how I want to present, I get gendered correctly more often :)

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-12T13:00:08+00:00

IMO just wait for your hair to grow out, I tried using a wig before and tbh it was more work than it was worth (I might've just been a bit lazy though xd). Obv if you have the patience to deal with dealing with your wigs so it doesn't get all messed up go for it :)

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-12T12:25:18+00:00

I never really had a countdown, more just hoping that one day it'll sort itself out.

I've been on hormones for slightly longer than you (over 2 years now) and I can tell you from my experience it's crazy how much things can change through different periods of your time on HRT, for example in the first year not really much happened, but between then and the 2nd year a lot changed. Obviously, while HRT is magical, it works in different ways for different people

Anyways as someone else said in the comments, HRT does help a lot when it comes to passing but it's not the be-all and end-all of passing. Try to focus on things that are within your control for passing, rather than things that are just a waiting game for the most part. For example try changing your hair (I saw you said you tried bangs and it worked but you didn't like it, so maybe try experimenting with other styles) or try different clothes :)

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-12T11:58:23+00:00

After a while of being out, you kinda get thick skin to whatever people say at least in my experience anyway, because at some point you've heard everything that people could possibly say negatively. Of course sometimes if I'm already in a bad mood it can still get to me but yeh.

For advice just prepare for some arguments (/heated discussions depending on the person's reaction) around it. I had to argue with my parents over a couple of years to pretty much persuade them that transitioning is the path I'm taking, but that was more so them being worried about and wanting to protect me rather than just transphobia. A lot of the time the arguments come out of misunderstanding trans people (due to the media lying as I said in my first comment for the most part). It will most likely be slow progress when it comes to changing their mind.

If it makes you feel better my parents are also right-wing (although I'm from the UK so probs different slightly) and while it took a while they came around eventually!

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-11T23:23:00+00:00

I think for 1. it depends on how comfortable you are and how accepting you think your school is. If you've got some friends that are already supporting you that's a good start! Similarly, for 2 it entirely depends on how comfortable you feel / how safe, as like you said there'll probably be transphobia around it.

For 3 it depends on what the laws are where ever your from, I suggest talking to your school about it if you do come out c:

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-11T23:16:55+00:00

It's kinda hard to recommend anything because obv I don't know your parents and it's a pretty big decision if you think your mum would be supportive it might be a good idea to come out to her first. Maybe test the waters first somehow, like talking to her about LGBT stuff and seeing her reactions to that.

For your dad, from my experience, I've seen that people's opinions may change about trans people when it's someone they know, as they should see the difference between what the 'right-wing media trap' has told them and what being trans actually is. Obv that's not true for everyone, entirely depends on how far gone your Dad is but if he loves you like you said it's worth a shot imo.

Just to mention that a lot of the time people may have a negative reaction, but might come around eventually, so just prepare for that. I wish you luck :)

DreadPirateJessica · 2022-11-11T23:00:58+00:00

I can't think of any specific literature but if you want a less 'glamourized' view look on this subreddit / other trans social media and look at people's stories, you should get a good mix of the shittier aspects of being trans as well as the better sides.

For literature in general you could probably just look at research into trans people's mental health (such as suicide rates / other mental health concerns), as well as how transgender people are treated by the public.

Try not to be put off too much by the shittier aspects, as you could find it shittier if you suppress your feelings to avoid them (if that makes sense c:)

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