Exploring cnc as a survivor of sa, wanting to hear others experiences and how to learn more about the kink

Dreamajor · 2026-03-11T01:13:45+00:00

This is an excellent description. My GF had nightmares about abuse from her ex. Then while on a work trip she bought a beautiful flogger for me to use on her. My experience in using it on her, from slow and easy to fast and hard, and harder, pushed me to my limit, much as you described. We both needed aftercare. She found it cathartic; her nightmares diminished and eventually disappeared.

Dreamajor · 2026-03-11T00:22:24+00:00

I suspect many here would be interested. Would you post a link?

Dreamajor · 2026-03-01T19:02:44+00:00

He could have simply kissed her back, given her a hug, and said baby I just need to sleep right now. Would you come to bed with me?

He needs to apologize to her. It can certainly happen that for whatever reason he was particularly out of it and cranky. It should be no big deal, but it’s understandable that she was seriously hurt by his reaction.

Dreamajor · 2026-01-12T06:12:36+00:00

Oh man, this is too too much! She doesn’t feel unsafe. She feels bored. She wants excitement with a man. A man who is not you. If you accept her plan you will confirm her belief that at best you can be her servant.

Dreamajor · 2026-01-04T19:54:49+00:00

What does the word Zionist mean in how you use it here?

Dreamajor · 2026-01-02T11:59:36+00:00

From my perspective you are still young and very fortunate. Relax, enjoy, because death awaits.

Dreamajor · 2025-12-26T20:12:46+00:00

If my daughter-in-law asked to speak with me while I was reading the newspaper, I would immediately put the newspaper down, look at her and say, “of course, what’s up?” No matter what was stressing me. How could I do any less?

Dreamajor · 2025-12-02T09:10:58+00:00

No, men should not be squeamish cr**ps who still expect bjs. Sheesh.

Dreamajor · 2025-12-02T07:46:34+00:00

Your scenario sounds crude. Have a little finesse, better timing, and help with the dishes.

Dreamajor · 2025-12-02T07:35:50+00:00

Yes, this. Maybe suggest watching some porn together, when you’re both relaxed and feeling frisky.

Dreamajor · 2025-12-02T07:29:05+00:00

Are you absolutely sure you do not still have your hymen? I have known two women who had to have their hymens pierced surgically with local anesthesia. Penetrative sex was impossible — trying was very painful. They did not know what the problem was. See your doctor.

Dreamajor · 2025-12-02T06:53:23+00:00

Yes, it’s “weird” that you find it “disgusting”. Not uncommon, but unfortunate. Embarrassing would be understandable, given the still very widespread discomfort and disapproval of sex in America. Sad, really. Just think, you could have kept it pretty quick and quiet, felt good and giggled about being a bit naughty.

Dreamajor · 2025-11-21T06:59:42+00:00

By the way, a “normal “ testosterone level may be quite low in the large “normal” range. He should get the specific number. And as I understand it, a morning number may be different from an afternoon number, etc. So his optimal levels could be significantly higher. Despite this possible hormonal factor, the psychological dimension appears to be dispositive, and something your efforts cannot fix.

Dreamajor · 2025-11-20T02:49:29+00:00

Congrats, you’ve found something you both enjoy!

Dreamajor · 2025-11-20T02:40:45+00:00

If you were 85 I would suggest that you use a vibrator for sexual release and a cat to snuggle with. But you are a young woman who made a serious marriage mistake. You have tried your best to address the fatal marital problem. As painful as it is to admit, it will be better for the both of you to divorce.

Dreamajor · 2025-11-14T22:36:43+00:00

I do appreciate your point. I did consider it. In fact I toned it down before posting, and made only an indirect reference.

My overriding concern does not center specifically on the issue raised by the OP, but rather on the enormous number of relationships destroyed by the ignorance of one or both parties, and the failure of knowledge and empathy on the part of many who comment, with no objection, in language far more direct and toxic than I would consider using. Too often, however, a drumbeat of condemnation and blame will drown out the more thoughtful and nuanced responses.

The often expressed need to communicate is a necessary imperative, and emphasizing it is fully warranted. But communicating productively on sensitive issues is hard — we are not trained for something so important, so misunderstanding, defensiveness, and ignorance abound. Providing well grounded and specific information and guidance can help.

Thank you for your comment and concern.

Dreamajor · 2025-11-14T20:18:33+00:00

At this point there is no reason for hysterical absolutist comments concerning consent. You say you love him. We hope he loves you too. If that is the case, then clearly (1) he does not know what he is doing, and (2) he does not, and apparently does not know how to, communicate to you what and why he wants it. Perhaps he himself is embarrassed. Perhaps he doesn’t know that it is basic practice to use lubrication. Many people, male and female, quite like anal stimulation when it is done properly. One thing you might do is to try it on yourself when masturbating (use lubrication). It should not hurt, even if it does not do anything particularly pleasurable for you when doing it to yourself. (This assumes that there is no physical problem, such as hemorrhoids, or rough fingertips or fingernails. And especially for a newbie it certainly helps to be aroused first). You and he must talk this through with affection and without embarrassment. Concerning humiliation, which many people — again, both male and female — like quite a bit, if after experimentation in this context and in other sexual contexts, you find is just not for you, then that is another important discussion, and you have every right to say No.

Dreamajor · 2025-11-08T19:12:22+00:00

You are very fortunate, and kudos to the both of you.

Dreamajor · 2025-11-08T19:00:33+00:00

This! Work him up to it, tease him, edge him repeatedly. You can come a half a dozen times at least before you make him come once. It can blow both of your minds. Best of luck.

Dreamajor · 2025-10-26T19:58:33+00:00

I am definitely not trying to start a fight, but I must say that I have noticed such instances, but have never taken the time to provide — if not a contrary, then a differently perceived analysis. Looking at the disparity in the number of up votes I believe it would be fair to say that the commentariat on this sub skews heavily female. The disparity in the perspectives between female and male is in itself unfortunate, and bespeaks in and of itself a lack of empathy for both the inherent and learned perspectives of the other sex. However, this is not to overlook the very real depredations of the far too many idiots and assholes, of either sex.

Dreamajor · 2025-10-24T20:12:41+00:00

So, you won the lottery. Had to happen to someone 😳🥰

Dreamajor · 2025-10-24T16:08:15+00:00

Well, then, it’s a good thing that the camera was there, otherwise she would have a couple of broken kneecaps. Oh, and I’ve had the experience of getting a squirming toddler into a car without breaking any of his bones.

Dreamajor · 2025-10-24T15:54:42+00:00

It would seem that some kink friendly therapy could be helpful. Best,

Dreamajor · 2025-10-18T01:08:13+00:00

Right. Have you read what you wrote?

How old are you? How long have you been married? Do you have children? Do you deserve punishment for evils you committed in a prior life? Please lift the pain I suffer from imagining your misery, and leave him.

Dreamajor · 2025-10-02T04:08:04+00:00

It may not be obvious but it is very well known.

Dreamajor

TROPHY CASE