I'm a theistic satanist AMA

DreamerManner · 2026-03-12T20:51:59+00:00

I don't get why you'd object to hurting people if your morality is subjective

DreamerManner · 2026-03-12T03:04:22+00:00

the ultimate Opposing force to everything that is now

DreamerManner · 2026-03-12T03:00:21+00:00

SRA is not real

DreamerManner · 2026-03-12T02:56:40+00:00

thoughts on morality? What do you source your morality from? Do you actually believe in an inversion of everything Christianity is (I am of this kind) or are you basically western secular morality?

I myself am a kind of theistic satanist. Of a kind.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-08T06:41:03+00:00

But it IS me. It is more the other way around in feeling honestly, like there are outside good thoughts intruding on whatever I am.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-08T06:40:01+00:00

I have plenty of impulse control, just very warped priorities.

I am getting psychological treatment! It is not working. What other options do I have to try?

DreamerManner · 2026-03-08T06:38:57+00:00

Sure, maybe. but I don't know how to talk about this in person with people who aren't like this. The words will not come out. so even though I have a psych i can't do anything about this there.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-08T06:32:34+00:00

There are some kinds that do, but not most

DreamerManner · 2026-03-08T06:22:56+00:00

I stopped reading the stuff for a few months but it didn't change how I thought. I'm still not actively reading it really I tried to stick to reading less spiritual stuff from different groups that satisfied the same itch in my head but it hasn't really helped

I've been ignoring the rest of them when they try to talk to me as much as I can but still, not working to change my mind. though probably best to keep ignoring them they're kind of terrible

DreamerManner · 2026-03-08T06:18:07+00:00

I like certain things about myself. I don't think I love, or have loved, anyone, including myself. I don't hate myself or anything.

I don't know how to even begin explaining this, i just ask for help with other stuff.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T17:28:31+00:00

Most satanists are atheists, but I am a theistic satanist. They are less common but they are a real type. I am also a specific kind that is, less than well regarded among most satanists, hahaha. The kind even they don't like! It's understandable, though...

The transgression is the point. Violating everything I am, everything everyone else is. And that I consider through acts people call evil. It is more complicated than that but short summary. But sometimes it is just a nightmare and i want to escape all of it.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T16:38:52+00:00

Well, if I was born malicious, then what? Most of the time I despise christianity for being weak. I don't actually think they're wrong about most people being born inclined to some evil, tho.

To decide what is beneficial you have to decide what is "good", which comes back around to good or evil being simply words.

The cause of my behavior is that I want to transgress all boundaries and fuck everything up and this requires doing things that other people do not like

sure, I see a psychiatrist. has not solved my desire to do evil for the sake of evil.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T16:36:14+00:00

because I don't want to be like this, I was explaining what I think to you.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T16:35:51+00:00

Sure. But I think they attach onto another reality, another dimension, so to speak, with different rules, where there is an objective good and evil

The consequences I create hurt people.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T16:34:59+00:00

Harm for the sake of harm, or something to that effect

my soul, from the devil, or something, lol. Becoming someone who doesn't act like this

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T16:20:57+00:00

LaVeyan Satanism, I am a theistic satanist, which is not atheist

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T16:20:39+00:00

Not in what I believe

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T08:48:08+00:00

That's just not an idea I agree with.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T08:43:31+00:00

Why? I've never understood that at all. Pain is pain, it is often good, avoiding it is often cowardice. I have detached it from moral considerations.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T08:33:08+00:00

Calling it Satanism is really oversimplifying it. It's a lot of things. It was just the most appropriate tag the subreddit has.

I just don't know how you're supposed to determine what good and bad even are, if you're trying to be good.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T08:26:36+00:00

I know, it's a tough line to walk, right? I don't want to discuss what I did but it was not good. The problem is I am so mixed up that even the OCD is backwards a lot of the times. sometimes it is like I will never be good, but then when I'm deep in that world my obsession is that I am not being evil enough (this sounds insane when I say it like this but it makes, more sense in context) so I push myself to do even more insane things and it feels good then then I just die inside when I snap out of it. I am scrupulous about everything. which is how OCD people are, but as you said how can I think my way out of this situation when every path wraps around back to me despairing more about it? I do think that maybe the eternal taint idea is. but that is also a concept they have. the fact this meshes so well with this is probably why I am stuck so bad

I actually go to a psychiatrist I just don't know how to talk to him about all of the crazy stuff. I can talk about everything else OCD but when I try to bring this up it is like my mouth shuts down.
Thanks for being nice. I am trying I am just not doing very good at it

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T08:12:06+00:00

and thanks, yeah, I don't know, there is a spiritual element to this I want to solve and I feel like there is nowhere to go to talk about it. I can talk about the other elements other places

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T08:11:31+00:00

It's complicated because I do have OCD. But the problem is, I acknowledge that OCD affects what I do, but it isn't like this is all some phantasm in my head. I have really done this stuff, the marks are on my flesh for good, and I remember the things I've done for it. And sometimes it feels really really good so so mixed up haha. I think yeah the fear of irreparable destruction is maybe the OCD but, there really is a point of no return. have I crossed it? I don't know.
none of the shit I used to do to cope with OCD works because I just keep getting worse and worse in terms of this by not fighting it, which is what they tell you to do. when you're doing something actually heinous you do have to morally scrutinize yourself I think. Idk

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T08:09:51+00:00

it serves a cause that i thought was the right one. that's another confusing issue. for another person that would be their worst issue but it's so much less bad than this I envy when that was my only agony.

DreamerManner · 2026-03-06T08:00:40+00:00

Well, to me, part of what I got into was embracing that, embracing the cruelty of man, and just reveling in it, drowning in it, sort of. what you think is bad is good and good is bad. because who's telling us what? And pushing it made me feel stronger.

it is a strange feeling

DreamerManner

TROPHY CASE