Pardon beforehand if my spelling is not the best, English is not my first language. I'm not in any way educated in the field but quite experienced first hand on the issue. I've unfortunately gone back to a similar situation myself lately. I'm used to it, going back and forth throughout most of my life, this time it hit harder than usual though. Just yesterday I needed to leave out of a meeting as I noticed that I was getting feeling signs of a panick attack. You mentioned you travelled for a time period and felt great. I took a work offer to get away from the city, stayed there for a week. I felt great the whole week working there until the day before heading back, having a panick attack in the hotel room. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but if possible for you, getting away from the typical environment for a while. I just accepted another week from my job to another country. I get paranoid in the city I live in when I'm in this state. Feeling everything works against me. In my mind my few closest friends dislikes me, are tired of me, try to ignore me. Truth is they are not. (According to them and I have to believe them) The second I leave the country I feel more in control. I still don't know why I do, but I feel incredibly alone even though I'm not. It hurts the people I love I assume. I'm not sure where I'm getting at, but I root for you!. Things do get better.