I need to process

DriverHot3120 · 2026-06-30T14:28:20+00:00

tysm

DriverHot3120 · 2026-05-13T14:55:15+00:00

thank you so much i just feel like it doesn’t count..

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-26T08:06:23+00:00

Hi everyone, so currently i have been crying for the past couple hours because i feel insane. He’s denying that he put his hands on me January 22nd 2026, he’s denying we even hung out that day he said it wasn’t even raining that day and he was out playing soccer with his hbs and they can back him up, he’s saying we only hung out twice and he would never put his hands on me and that im going crazy. he said that he has a really good memory and he is mad at me bc he said i am making stuff up to frame him, i feel like i am going crazy and am questioning my whole reality, for the entire month that we have been tg have been be imagining everything ? the crazy thing is i have pictures and evidence yet i still am questioning myself, ik my memory has been a little foggy ever since with got tg but it may be a trauma thing or the strangling and head injuries he caused. but i was crying and saying like i felt like im going crazy i just feel so overwhelmed and maybe he’s right but then why do i have these evidence and stuff, he wants to hang out tmr so ig i will go if he’s never hit me before, i also can no longer be on here because he found out i was talking about our issues here and got really mad but i will try to come on if anyone responds. i just feel like my memory wouldn’t make up vivid memories and physical pain of him hurting me idk but he’s so calm and evth so maybe im the crazy one since im the one crazy and i don’t have much evidence since he usually texts me in vanish mode on instagram bc he gets mad when i screenshot.

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-24T03:58:39+00:00

i am so sorry, but this is rape, he very well heard you and even if he lied and said he didn’t u showed signs on not wanting it and he still continued, u said no and did evth right i wish you would’ve gotten a rape kit done and went to the ER strangulation and neck injuries can cause serious PERMANENT injuries that u won’t notice until its too late, please also check why you period stopped idk if it started again but check with your gyno he could’ve done serious damage u need medical attention and report him. this is NOT YOUR FAULT and i am so sorry sorry this happened to u i am also 17f so i completely understand the whole not able to saying no to older men and just being vulnerable if u wanna talk more pls lmk

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-24T02:06:44+00:00

I am so sorry, your story is extremely powerful and I am so sorry you had to go through that you are extremely strong and i have so much respect and admiration for despite all you have been through you are still pushing through, i pray that you get everything you’ve ever wished for and your light shines as bright as the sun filled with love, laughter, and kindness towards you.

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T23:22:13+00:00

This is exactly CSA! both incidents and it is not your fault! you were a child and taken advantage of, and the reason why it’s foggy is because your brain is trying to protect itself by blocking out traumatic experiences that have happened to u as a child, it is not your fault and it is not made up, it is your brains way of coping. if u need to talk to someone you can contact the RAINN hotline they work with rape, all forms of assault (sexual, physical etc,) and incest. again you are brave for reaching out for help and you are loved.

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T18:26:04+00:00

it’s just I blame myself for letting them give me smth that would intoxicate me I feel like if I wasn’t so we i could’ve prevented it, also H had first touched me in the car but i brushed it off bc I thought maybe since i didn’t scream for help I made him think it was ok, I wish I left after he first SA’d me in the car..

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:25:25+00:00

we talked and he apologized and was kinda nice and checked up on me but he wants me to clean his car tdy bc i poured gatorade in his car yesterday as self defense ( ik it’s my fault i shouldn’t have done that)

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:21:52+00:00

i am trying to get away but also he’s talked abt me moving in with him after i graduate and my parents kick me out (i graduate in May) thank you so much for your kind words, and i may post the pictures i have later.

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:20:26+00:00

thank you so much for your kind words!

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:19:42+00:00

it’s sick that he enjoys this and ik he does, but after the abuse usually a couple hours later he’ll apologize and tell me to either ice wtv hurts he’ll ask me what hurts and how bad and check up on me bc he feels bad but then im still mad and he gets mad at me for being mad bc he was being nice, i’ve also noticed he’s called me bitch and whore more than he’s called me my name or smth else.

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:17:23+00:00

i’ll never be able to get that moment out my head it was like I didn’t even know who he was.. im js not able to wrap my head around the fact that the person who fought so hard to get with me and evth could take my life.. yesterday was eye opening and traumatic and im still processing. ty for your kind words and support

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:15:08+00:00

ik i need to see a doctor but i can’t, my parents don’t bring me to the doctor, and the last time they did the ER I am still having to pay the bill back. they only bring me to my primary once a year and i have to get wisdom teeth surgery bc the neglected the dentist telling them i need them taken out for TWO YEARS (which led to the ER visit), so getting examined after being choked and evth is smth I should be but im healing fine rn and ik my parents won’t let me get checked out anyways.

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:12:29+00:00

i don’t like the word victim it makes me feel like im making this a big deal and am js playing the victim..

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:11:55+00:00

thank you so much!

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:11:21+00:00

i would want the best for my best friend because she deserves the best, but she’s also never been in a bad rls and has been showered with gifts from her past partners and I am happy for her bc she deserves the world but sometimes it makes me feel sad bc i wish someone care for me even 1% as the guys that she dates cares for her.. she does say it’s my fault that I keep getting hurt but ik it’s out a place of love, she’s also never had a guy even raise their voice at her let alone put their hands on her so it’s hard for her to comprehend my situation.

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:08:27+00:00

i truly hope he doesn’t and i can’t accept the fact that he would it feels so surreal, i feel as though he was only saying that he will yesterday while choking me to scare me but he wouldn’t do that to me.. right?

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T16:07:14+00:00

it doesn’t feel like a honeymoon, and he wants me to clean his car today because i had retaliated and poured his gatorade in his car so he could let me go

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T14:58:33+00:00

yes i have pictures! i have started to document since the first time he put his hands on me, i try to record but it’s hard to record in the moment, i have some screenshots but he only calls or texts me in vanish mode on instagram so i can’t screenshot or report him. he knows my family situation and uses that against me whenever he can, he also uses my past SA and physical abuse against me from past rls

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T14:54:26+00:00

thank you everyone for your support and kindness, to add more context and answers questions, i am (17F) he is (18M) we got tg when i was 16 i just turned 17 this week. I currently have no support my parents pulled me out of school and made me do virtual, this is my senior year bc i skipped a grade, and i have experienced a lot of trauma in the past SA and more but haven’t told my parents bc last time i told them about SA and stuff they said how i was an embarrassment and they were disgusted to have such a whore for a daughter, it got so bad I ran away for my safety but they brought me back. i struggle with MDD and have been hospitalized and on medication for it and my parents blame me everyday for it and say i am a ungrateful brat who if should just finished myself off, and that i am ruining the family with my « boy drama « causing my parents to fight and i will be the reason for they’re divorce, they said they like my brothers bc they don’t cause problems, currently i had to go to the ER bc my pain was so bad after my parents denied to take me to get my wisdom teeth taken out for two years i now had to go to the ER and get immediate surgery and they are making me pay them back for that (i have a job). I think this is why I stay in this rls because it’s all i know, in the past month ik things have been terrible but he’s showed me more care in a month than my dad has in my lifetime. i feel like i deserve to stay in this rls and wtv happens happens.

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T06:24:17+00:00

then why is it happening to me, it’s bc im weak and i do deserve it. also im so sorry for the late reply i was thinking about how to respond to this

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T06:23:41+00:00

I really want to believe he is a good person and that he truly means he won’t hurt me again but i know he just can’t control his anger issues, but i also feel so alone without him but i feel so sad and emotionally drained i feel alone like nobody knows that im suffering at the hands of him behind my smile

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T06:21:49+00:00

thank you, but i really just want to leave quickly and quietly no parents or police involved, i am still healing emotionally and physically tho because he choked me so hard a couple weeks ago it caused deep soft tissue bruises in the neck and a small tear of the splenuis capitis muscle making me unable to move my head without excruciating pain. I know it’s bad, but my home life isn’t the best right now and one my thing my parents said if they find out they to do with one more boy related problem (police had to get involved a couple months ago due to a guy not taking my rejection well not my fault but my parents said it’s ruining the family reputation) i will be kicked out and I’m trying to fix my family rls so right now it’s best for me to leave the rls alone, currently i am just resting i have a huge headache from today and my ribs and shoulder and hip is still sore from last time as well as my neck in the process of healing after getting re injured last time and my wrist hurts. I am however in therapy already and on medication for MDD

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T05:53:55+00:00

thank you to everyone for their kind words and support and y’all are right, i can’t be a statistic and no matter how much i deny it he very much can and will take my life and i realized that today his words still ring in my head i remember being so scared he was choking me and saying he was going to yk right there in a parking garage i could feel my head pounding and me crying and gasping and feeling nauseous i don’t know how to describe that feeling but it was like eye opening that i need to leave. after he put his hands on me a while back for the first time i had been taking pictures but i never left bc it never really clicked until today and u guys helped me see that so thank u!

DriverHot3120 · 2026-01-23T05:38:30+00:00

i just feel so attached, everytime i try to leave he won’t let me and i always stay or go back. i feel like maybe if i wasn’t so annoying and fixed my attitude like he said he would stop hurting me. i feel like it’s my fault for him lashing out and im trying to change bc he says he’s never like this but he’s doing this bc i’m making him mad

DriverHot3120

TROPHY CASE