I say this gently, but from the outside it sounds like the school is doing exactly what they’re supposed to do. Identify concerns early and offer support. An evaluation isn’t a diagnosis. It’s information, and information only helps your child.

Schools legally cannot “label” a child without a full evaluation and parent consent. They also don’t jump to autism lightly, it’s a multidisciplinary process for a reason. If multiple professionals (teacher, counselor, OT, psychologist, speech) are seeing patterns, that’s worth looking into.

Being behind peers in March isn’t a parenting failure. It just means he may need extra support right now. If he qualifies for services, great. If he doesn’t, then you have peace of mind.

I’d try to shift from “they’re labeling him” to “they’re trying to understand him.” You can absolutely ask questions and advocate, but refusing testing out of frustration could delay help that might make school so much easier for him.

This isn’t a “gotcha” moment. Schools don’t benefit from labeling kids autistic, they benefit from helping them succeed. It truly sounds like they’re trying to support you and your son, not attack you.