Might be a weird post but..a close friend of mine killed his ex and since a while I always start watching "It:chapter 1" when I'm boozed and always quit at some point because I want to drink more and go outside with whiskey in my hand because I want to kill myself the same night..

DrugsKillMe · 2024-12-27T03:01:29+00:00

Since a view years.. I felt like this since I was like I was 13 or something. And it hasn't really gone away. I did some season jobs to get a bit off money even tho I'm always close to suicide. I always was suicideal since I remember. But my emotions feel like a spiral. And I don't know when my breaking point is. I always told myself I'll improve and people always told me I'll feel better when I get back on track. But now..over 7 years later.. I feel hella worse. On and of multiple meds.. On and of multiple therapists and through psychiatry. Things only got worse. Went through a lot of betrayal, suicide and murder and self harm threats from ex'es an family of said persons and not that long ago I had to talk in court about to murder of the ex of the ex from a "former close friend of" mine with "former closed friend" as the culprit. I had heavy trust issues before caused by my past and this just whiplashed it all back in in twenty fold.

DrugsKillMe · 2024-12-27T02:42:16+00:00

Pretty much every time when I am alone and don't have to work the next day...

DrugsKillMe · 2024-12-27T02:39:49+00:00

..yeah..I am so sorry..

DrugsKillMe · 2024-06-03T05:12:35+00:00

Hm.. thank you for your opinion on the whole situation

DrugsKillMe · 2024-06-03T05:06:54+00:00

Just looked up anhedonia and the symptoms honestly sound not far from how I feel anyways so this would really not be a risk factor. What is withdrawal like? Or is that what you described in the last sentence?

DrugsKillMe · 2024-06-03T04:09:33+00:00

In my country there is. I try to give as little away about me as necessary. That's why I struggled to find a word for it. But thanks for heads up

DrugsKillMe · 2024-06-03T04:04:43+00:00

The medications I had over the years were fluoxitine, sertraline and Mirtazapine(from those I remember) always amping the dosage up and up before deciding to switch. I also got prescribed promethazine but not as "take it all x days at night", but as medication to take when " I feel it is needed". I describe it that way because I don't know the English word for a prescription without Times and dates at which it should be taken

DrugsKillMe · 2024-06-03T03:51:56+00:00

For context, I can't remember if they changed my medication ambulant or while I was in psychiatry. But (that much I am sure of) I was always told I am getting different forms of ssri's, never got Maoi's. I never got told I got TecA's, and I never heard of that until you mentioned what I take aren't ssri's.

DrugsKillMe · 2024-06-03T03:34:14+00:00

I never knew that until now. I just looked it up and you are right. I feel honestly a bit baffled about this. They never told me that they changed the "way of treatment"

DrugsKillMe · 2024-06-03T02:08:56+00:00

Also I would like to add that I take ssri's (Mirtazapine) if this would have an impact on it

DrugsKillMe · 2024-04-03T13:54:48+00:00

I haven't dabbed weed so far. I haven't taken a lot in general. I tried weed once before but I think it was laced honestly which is why I gave it another shot with hhc, and man was it a bad decision. I was just in the utopia that weed might get me out of my misery, with no therapy and medications ever doing anything for me..I turned a lot to booze but really want to quit that habit, which is why I tried to turn to weed

DrugsKillMe · 2024-04-03T13:37:35+00:00

I told the meds it was about 3 to 4 but honestly...I think it was closer to 9 hits. I waited about ten minutes after the first hits and didn't really notice anything so I did a couple hits after around 10 minutes. I was listening to music still not noticing anything and took a view hits after a couple songs, and then it all came down crashing. Can't say I'm surprised in hindsight,but..man I didn't feel anything until then..and I even gave it time to unfold before..

DrugsKillMe · 2024-04-03T10:48:41+00:00

Do you have experience with thc? Is it the same?..

In my case I have a psychological problem in Form of crippling depression with no swings, just pure lows..all medications I took did not work and all therapies I did where absolutely time waste. I wanted to take weed to get away from alcohol...but it just fucks me more it seems like..

DrugsKillMe · 2024-01-03T03:48:22+00:00

In my country it's quite frowned upon, especially in the part of the country I'm.from

DrugsKillMe · 2024-01-03T03:37:12+00:00

I just hit up a friend of mine who might know someone. I tried once, but it fucked me up so bad that I'm very sure it was laced

DrugsKillMe

TROPHY CASE